A/N: Yes, this is inspired by "Sleepover" by Hayley Kiyoko.
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He hates it but what else can he do. It surprisingly hurts more than he'd like to admit. It shocks him how deeply it hurts him to see Jimin smiling at someone that isn't him. Holding hands with someone that isn't him. Laughing with those bright eyes that disappear behind his cheeks.
It hurts enough to make him want to cry.
He doesn't want to cry though. He wants Jimin happy and he would always rather see his best friend smiling rather than have his own selfish desires and longing satisfied.
Taehyung still wants Jimin to love him just as much as he loves Jimin. Is that asking for too much?
"You're crying... What are you thinking about," Jimin's voice is soft as he cups Taehyung's cheeks and uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears.
Taehyung had forgotten where they are. They're in his room, in his bed, just laying there. At some point, Taehyung remembers that they were talking about something, probably music or some show or something but Taehyung can't remember what it is. All he can do is stare in Jimin's eyes and see the sadness in his own eyes, written all over his face. He feels like a hollow shell, even with his best friend being close enough for them to hear each other's heartbeats.
Honestly, he isn't even sure when it started that he would feel his heart pretty much pound in his chest at just a glimpse of Jimin smiling at him, his pulse and adrenaline quickening whenever Jimin would call his name or hold his hand. They always laced fingers naturally, Jimin's smaller hand always warmer than his own larger one. Things just felt right when he was with Jimin but, at some point, he realized he really couldn't go without thinking about Jimin. That he would start smiling like an idiot whenever they could spend time together. He had fun with the little things that they would do together, especially listening to music together, sharing headphones, and singing quietly together, voice harmonizing so naturally, like how everything else about the two of them would just always meld together without any trouble.
Did Jimin really not see how perfectly paired they were?
They were the definition of soulmates.
Right?
"Tae Tae," Jimin calls when Taehyung doesn't answer him and Taehyung's chest clenches at the look that Jimin gives him.
There's concern all over Jimin's face, his soft features full of nothing but worry and Taehyung can tell a demand is on the tip of the other's tongue. If he doesn't say something soon, Jimin is going to demand he say everything that's on his mind and the actual trouble with that is that Taehyung can never deny Jimin when he asks something like that of him. Not that he can usually deny Jimin much, really. If it's in reason and in his ability, he won't even think twice about doing what Jimin what and giving him what he needs.
He finds himself crying more because he just wants all of Jimin's love. He's honestly growing so fed up with being with nothing but his imagination when the real thing is literally breathing the same air as him, right here in front of him with almost no space between them as they rest on the pillows. His body feels weak and heavy all at the same time, like he has no control over anything, and he doesn't. He can't get himself to reach out to Jimin, to reach for his hand or to reach out and hold him.
Why is this all so hard?
At one point, Taehyung can recall that he was really excited to just be able to have Jimin in his dreams and daydreams. Once upon a time, it was perfect.
"Taehyung," Jimin's somewhat yelling, although Jimin honestly doesn't ever really yell. He raises his voice a bit but even the little he raises his voice feels like a yell.
Taehyung blinks and he can't even see Jimin clearly anymore because of all the tears. They just don't seem to stop coming and he can't find the energy to wipe them away and, with them being as close as they are to one another, he can't even deny that he's crying. Jimin looks a little like he wants to cry, too.
"Why aren't you mine?"
Jimin blinks and Taehyung chokes on his own breath, realizing that that was definitely his own voice that had said those words. He manages to slip away, crashing to the floor with a hard thud before he's disappearing to the bathroom, where he locks the door and curls up against the wall with his knees hugged to his chest. He hides his face in the top of them. Jimin will most likely hate him now and find him disgusting and he'll have lost his best friend. It's not that he doesn't have other friends but Jimin is special. He gets him on a different level and doesn't judge him for him just being himself. He feels the most comfortable with Jimin and it makes him want to disappear at the thought that he's lost it all.
But is it really his fault that his heart couldn't take the dreams anymore?
Even so, at least he can still return to Jimin there.
There, in his head, where they can always have happily ever after moments.
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