ᴀɴ ᴏᴠᴇʀ-ᴅᴏ sᴇʟғ ʀᴇғʟᴇᴄᴛɪᴏɴ

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Created Feb 4, 2019 19:05:12

I cannot keep blaming you for leaving me without thanking you for loving me.

Thank you for holding my hand.
Thank you for making me laugh.
Thank you for being my best friend.
Thank you for believing in my dreams.
Thank you for remaining faithful to me.
Thank you for kissing me every day.
Thank you for respecting my choices.
Thank you for complimenting my mind.
Thank you for being patient with me.
Thank you for pushing me to succeed.

Thank you for setting my standards for love so high that I will never, ever settle for less than what I deserve.

Yes, you left me —
but at least you loved me first.

And some apologies.

I became really nasty and vindictive after I promised myself change.

It was like relapsing on a bad addiction, and it's a feeling that leaves you hollow at the end of the day.

You look in the mirror and you wonder, "What happened? You were doing so good."

Sometimes you take steps back, and it's okay. You just need to know when it's time to push your damn pride away and remember that those who have wronged you (and you have wronged) are people, too. Take those steps forward, apologize, and move on. You can't go on blaming yourself and taking it out on others, because it's not fair. So look long and hard into that mirror. Stare until you're sick of who you've become and make a change in yourself for once.

We're only human.

Mistakes happen.

So to those that I've had problems with these last couple weeks, I'm sorry. I don't know you, and I don't know what you're going through, so it's not my place to take my own frustrations out on you. It's not fair, and sure life isn't fair, but we can control what we give to other people. We can control how we react to things, and the way I've been acting has been entirely wrong.

So I'm taking another step forward, no more looking back.

As the love of my life told me before, "Progression, not digression."

Comments

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-usagi 5 years ago

Glad to see you working on bettering yourself
It’s easy to point fingers and pin the blame on someone else so I’m proud of you for turning it around and taking that blame instead. Situations like these aren’t always so black and white. There’s too much grey area and it gets messy. Keep reflecting when you need it and don’t worry about the people who aren’t willing to do the same. It just proves who the bigger person is.

dionysus 5 years ago

i hope you do change for the better
you’ve hurt people and begging for forgiveness won’t grant just that but redemption and actual change will prove the words your writing. don’t just say it, speak it into existence. good luck.

peptobismol 5 years ago

i wish you the best in your progression and i hope to see a future where everyone can get along despite their differences. even if we can’t change others, we can always change ourselves for the better.