gosh, some adults can be s and jerks
i'm so upset with my professor who tried to embarrass me in class during our video conference
so today, I felt proud of myself
I didn't have panic attacks
I didn't have any suicidal thoughts for a month and 1-2 weeks, which is a huge step for me
It just so happenes that we had an teacher today
he was asking stuff about our course cause it isn't his forte, since he's teaching politics and stuff like that
we had to introduce ourselves one by one, asking about our background, our future, and our principle? i don't get that part
he just said something related to psych
so i told him i wanted to study med, if i can't, i want to be a guidance counselor to help students in dealing with their problems and help them cope
i didn't exactly say empathy, but it could be understood as that, right?
i mean, it was what we learned from the year before in our counseling class
he started asking me stuff like "so which psych lesson do you wanna blah blah" something related to what i learned in psych
i could answer it if it wasn't on the spot, probably, i just really hate talking in front of people unless they're just my friends
i could easily talk about that with my classmates without the teacher, since we were all close, and they know i have a huge fear of talking in front of a crowd, i get embarrassed easily and i can't breathe
so he asked stuff like "what can you say about the father of psychology? sigmund freud?"
and i was like 'but he isn't even the father of psychology?' in my head
then he continued "how about his hierarchy of needs?"
this is where i panicked even more cause I don't ever remember any lesson wherein freud had any hierarchy of needs, so i was like 'did he learn something i didn't?'
so i said "I'm sorry sir, i'll have to get back to you on that, I can't answer that right now."
and he said "but you're a third year, you should already know"
I'm not even sure if i'm sure of what i'm doing, honestly, how do you expect me to remember something i've read months ago with the exact title of the theory?
thankfully my classmates were talking in another groupchat without him knowing, and one even told him "sir, it's maslow's hierarchy of needs"
they all had my back especially my friend who knew how anxious i was, and how pathetic i felt
she was talking to me the whole time and comforting me
"go listen to izone, watch offgun, zone him out, leave the videocall first, don't mind him, he "
it was followed by all sorts of bad words lol but i'm really thankful to her, then when it was her turn, i could really hear how upset she was at our teacher
she answered the same thing i did to prove a point
the teacher had it in for me cause my voice was trembling and he was trying to overpower one student, which was me
he didn't ask my other classmates about follow up questions
he didn't even ask my friend cause she was confident in her answer.
i didn't get to say this to him so i wanna tell him now, since i froze awhile ago and cried for quite awhile
i want to be someone who can lend a shoulder or a hand or an ear to anyone who needs it
i want to normalize one's vulnerability
his actions and words were not right at all
i get that he's a politician and he's a person with power along with him being our teacher, but honestly, how the did he win?
what he did made me really upset
this is why people, not only students, have anxiety and feel stressed cause, whether we like it or not, we'll meet at least one person like that
so many of my classmates mentioned empathy, and he had none of that, believe me
maybe i'm just a crybaby or my feelings get hurt easily, but i thought i was finally okay, and pressuring someone to just gahhhh
sorry i just wanted to rant, i think i'm gonna hate saturday classes
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