Dying

I have come to a conclusion. I am dying. My mom is treating me like and she is somehow baffled that I never talk to her. MY GUARD IS UP BECAUSE SHE NEVER TELLS ME ANYTHING EXCEPT TO BICKER. Second, she said I hated my family. I LOVE THE OUT OF MY FAMILY, BUT THEY GANG UP ON ME TOO. MY GUARD IS UP, SO I NEVER SHOW THEM AFFECTION BECAUSE I AM SCARED OF THEIR REACTION. I was told about my grades. I DON'T WANT TO BE A GENIUS. YOU ALWAYS SAY I AM A GENIUS, BUT YOU NEVER ING SAY THAT I CAN BE MY DREAM BECAUSE IT IS USELESS. MY GUARD IS UP. I am always talked to about how I supposedly treat my family. I AM UNDER SO MUCH ING PRESSURE THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU GUYS. MY GUARD IS UP! ALL OF THIS IS BECAUSE MY! ING! GUARD! IS! UP!