sharing some jokes with you

* WARNING * some jokes are stupid and not even funny :)))

 

A bunny walking inside a bar. Bunny : who wants to pick a fight ? A ? Who ? Come on ... No one minded him seeing him so small and all. After a while the bunny again with the same texts , still no one was minding him , the third time bunny was still with the same texts , pissed off and super angry the bear gets up and goes to the bunny . Bear : ok bunny , im willing to. Bunny looks at him . Bunny : whats your name ? . Bear : John . The bunny looks at him then at the ppl in the bar .... Bunny :ok , who wanna pick a fight with me and John ? A ? Come on.

 

 

A guy had to leave home for work for few days , leaving his wife alone at home. His wife who was verry faithfull and loving she brought 3 men to bang her after he left :))))) . The men came and start doing their job. After midnight they heard the door , it was the husband, quick they hid where they could, one in the bathroom , one in the closet and one in the kitchen. The husband gets in and greets his wife , kisses her on the mouth that surely she didnt do anything with the whole night :)) and goes to take a shower, he finds the first guy there

Husband: who are you and what are you doing here ? . The guy scared tought at a excuse

The 1st guy : um .. i came here to fix your bath ......pay me

The husband pays him confussed ... gets out and goes to change , and finds the other guy in the closet, again who are yoy and stuff , the 2nd guy said he came to fix the closet and to pay him. The husband again confussed pays him and goes to eat something. He sits at the table and sees the 3rd guy on the fridge. He looks at him , the guy looks at him, aftet few minutes of silence and starying the 3rd guy looked at him annyed . 3rd guy: dafuq youre looking at ? You never seen kitchen bugs till now ? .

 

 

 

The bear come at the bar to show off with his new car. Bear : who wants to have a ride with my new car , m ? . The bunny jumped around , me me ... the bear took him and started to drive. He started to speed up more and more aproching the edge of the cliff. Bear :bunny did you peed your pants ? Bunny : YEES !. The bear step on the break and they stop right at the edge. Bunny : woow , so cool i want too. The bear let him drive and the bunny starts to speed up as well thowards the edge. Bunny : bear did you peed your pants ? Bear : Yes ! . Bunny : you can them too , cant reach the break.

 

 

 

Huge accident in the jungle, the lion sees the ant hurrying and confussed asks her. Lion : ant where are you going ? Ant : didnt you heard ? The rhino and elephant had a accident. Lion : ok yeah but why are you in a hurry ? Ant : to donate blood.

 

 

The Lion finds out his wife cheats on him but didnt knew with who. He hires the squirle to spy. After few days he lion makes a meeting with all the animals telling them whats about and calls for the squirle to come forward. Lion : ok so ? Did you found out anything ? Squirle : yes but i could see only a shadow , and it had big ears. Hearing that the bunny spit on his palms and rubbed his ears backwards looking at the donkey . Bunny : donkey, youre ed.

 

 

John at school , the teacher sees him with his lip swolled and asks him what happened. I was at fishing wih dad and a bee sit on my lip. Aww and it bit you ? . No dad killed her with the fishing pole.

 

 

The teacher wants to do a meeting with the parents.

John :cant , dad is dead

Teacher :mom ?

John : dead

Teacher : sister ? Brother ? Grandparents ?

John : dead

Teacher : how !?

John :a brick fell on their heads from the top of the house

Teacher : all of them ? And how did u escaped ?

John :i was throwing them

 

 

 

 

 

 

If u want more ask me , i will write more ^^