Personal Message
YES IM TIRED
BUT WAIT...
Calm your and listen to me first...
"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." - Sam Keen
"Every morning reminds me of all the wrong dreams I had been chasing my life until I found the right one.. YOU"
"To love a person is to see all of their magic, and to remind them of it when they have forgotten"
"From this day forward, you shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter and my arms will be your home"
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...and that dream was so clear. It was so surreal, beyond imagination that it brought me to tears the moment i woke up. Many people gathered in a garden that was lush and decorated in a fairytale-like setting; flowers were scattered all around, streams of different colors hang above, rows of chairs prepared neatly and a white carpet was laid down at the center. All were wearing their best dresses and suits as they started to settle along the rows. I was wearing one too but unlike the others I felt so nervous. And when all were settled in their places, a familiar music played at the background. I felt a tap on my shoulder and a voice saying "This is it." At that moment I knew what my dream was about and it just made me weak in every way but eternally glad. The throbbing of my heart went relentless as a figure appeared at the other end of the isle, wearing an amazing dress. She was so beautiful and no words could capture how the woman looked for me. I felt tears flow down my cheeks with every step she made, happiness clearly the cause of it. I saw her smiling with the same sentiments I held, her eyes glittering; she was perfect. And that woman was you, babe... it was you.
Sadly, my dream ended so soon. But what I felt while I saw the dream stayed with me when I gained consciousness. That morning I was sitting on the bed, staring at space with so much going on in my mind. One thought stood out from the rest though... that I want that dream to become "our" reality.
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Cause baby, you're the only one who could possibly make that dream come true.
Here I am again, pouring my heart out shamelessly and I only ask that you listen to every word til the end. Chorong, I am serious when I say that you're the only one for me. In all honesty, I cant bear the thought of you not being that woman in my dream. We've been together not that long but my heart is so sure of you as if I've known you my whole life. And when I saw you walking down the isle towards me, I said to myself, "That's my whole life right there." I literally saw my whole life with you flashing before my eyes; us living under the same roof and having a family of our own, having those breakfast in bed, family day outs during sundays, taking the kids to school, and so many more... even down to the very moment where our hair turned grey and the both of us couldn't walk straight anymore. Baby, you are my everything and I do believe I already told you almost every reason there is why I am so in love with you. And those reasons stay true even up to this day. But just let me stress out some of them here. You are the better half of me who knows when I'm sad and when I'm moody; who can tolerate me when I'm in my worst. Its really puzzling how you could do that cause I'm pretty sure an average girl would leave me already if they know that I'm not as perfect as they think I am. You handle me so well though it isnt without challenge. I know for a fact that I haven't been the best boyfriend ever and I broke some promises I made when I asked you to be mine. So let me take this time to thank you from the bottom of my heart for staying when you had every chance to leave. I am so sorry for everything I've done that stressed you out or worry you in so many ways, for the times that I hurt you also. Heaven knows it hurts me more when I do. But you baby, you make me wanna be better, to get over those stuff and try to change not only for you but for myself as well. You make me happy, so much... and I want you to know that in case you've forgotten or I haven't made you feel like you do so. Whether it be with that simple sad and lonely emoticon you would send or the spam I would find in my inbox when I'm done working or when I'm back from being sick, it does make me happy. You are my ray of sunshine who turns any bad day upside down and you're the most caring one I've ever known (tone down the worrying though haha).
But I will be honest, any relationship is hard to keep. Our fights right now may double in times to come. We might have a lot of misunderstandings and tears to shed. Not one is perfect like fairytales show. Not one is so simple. But even if its gonna be a tough road, I want to go on with this journey with you... holding your hand through the good and bad times. I want to share my joy with you and to help you carry your sadness over my shoulders. Chorong, I've never been this sure in my life, I swear. And all I could think of is that... if you haven't let go of me when you saw my worst, then you deserve me in my best and that's what I wanna give and assure you. You would have the best of me and only you.
So what I meant when I said Im tired is that Im tired of keeping this for long. The first time I asked you, I know that was abrupt and unplanned but this time I'll do it right. It scared me to try again because of your answer. I wanted to give you so much time to think of everything you have to consider but I can't afford to miss the chance of making that dream a reality. I don't wanna be scared forever cause I know that if I dont ask you this again, I will regret it for the rest of my life. I'm not expecting a "yes" but an answer that truly comes from your heart. No, you're not gonna spend valentine's day watching sappy movies alone. I'll leave you to a decision making rather. My heart is at your disposal, my love and whatever your answer may be, rest assured that I will still love you for eternity. I could always ask again next valentine's day. haha
So... will you marry me?
P.S. Im sorry for making you think of a lot of things again. I hope the wait is still worth it for you.