ahn hyejin [ h ] 1 minute ago Reply
So 1200 isn't much, but it's definitely more than what I expected, and I really wanna thank one person in particular. Yes, I have .. So many friends that I love, I really do, there's just this one that I want to pour my heart out to right now, and that was the man that ended my night with a pinky promise. There was so much going on, that it took me on an emotional roller coaster, up and down, and there was just one to really stabilize me, and I didn't even really know he could. There was already so much lost, nothing that I've even begun to confide in anyone about, and I just kept thinking there was nothing else, that it was incomprehensible. How can it happen? But one look -- one look, I was 'home'. It was a shocker, because we'd only ever talked in passing, a few messages to each other here and there, a few videos that I sent to him, pictures, and a few videos to me, but never did I think I'd actually find someone so sweet, someone that makes me feel like how I used to. I want to stay up late into the night, holding tight onto m phone for him, like a giddy teenager. I want to listen to his every word, and rub his back for every one of his woes. There are so many things I want to do, and they all begin with him. My heart hasn't hurt this much in a while, and it's a hurt that I really love, that I find comfort in, because that hurt stems to laughter, my ribs ache because he makes he laugh *so hard*, my cheeks hurt from smiling because he makes me grin like a perpetual crescent moon. He makes my fingers hurt, he makes my knees weak, so so weak, but most of all, he makes my soul yearn. It's been a while since someone has done that for me, to me, being able to closely connect. I don't make platforms for people, I don't usually make edits for them. I stopped making padlets a long while ago because so few actually appreciated them, took them for granted, but I know with him, he would never. He asked me if I trust him, and I do. I trust him with my heart, my life, my love, my friends, my everything. I trust him from that goofy little smile of his, to that little green eyed monster I see when something bugs him - but that's my green eyed monster, and I see myself in his eyes in that same manner. I'm so hwipped for him, I feel like I could go on and on about him. When he looks at me, it feels like I'm actually encompassed by the color of his eyes; the warmth that makes you feel like home, the heaviness of a thousand untold words, held back by eyes that glimmer with the bitterness of the coffee he may like - because he doesn't like sweet things. He never seems to leave my mind, he's *always* there. He's that one stable being, and my one anchor in this world of chaos - he promised, and I believe him. That he'd stay. When he says I'm beautiful, I believe it. Some may call it puppy love, but it's a start. I'm devoted; I know that this feeling is just me, and him. If I were to leave, for any reason, I'd have to come back, if I wanted something true. It isn't that nobody else wants me, or him, but that I feel as though we sparked, and ran the same course. I want to get to know him more. To know his favorite color, to know that favorite drink of his, if he doesn't like hot cocoa. I love his carrot hair, because orange is my favorite color, I love his deep, brown, lovely eyes, because hot cocoa is my favorite drink. I love his hands on mine, love his lips, especially when he smiles. I love those big ears, because they actually listen to me. I slipped my heart into his pocket some time ago when he wasn't looking, and there it will stay, safe and sound. Every single day that passes, every hour, every interaction, I find myself becoming more and more hwipped, find myself falling further and further down - is the 'O' in his trap for me to fall through? Because I'm glad I went. I'm glad I met him. I really like him, I love him, even. I'm in love with him, and I'll say it to myself every single day, because as long as I'm by his side, I'm fine. He is the greatest treasure of my life, the one, the ONLY one, Oh Sehun.