dec 19

Wooyoung, my precious tiny but not so tiny Wooyoung.

You've got me wrapped around your finger, you know that? Not too long till I'm completely whipped for you, and that honestly scares me. You're too good to me. Any other person and I'd probably not be feeling it, not the way I feel you. You know just how to work me up and talk to me, even how to satiate my hunger for you; you're a triple threat. And damn, do I feel severely threatened by you.

I know it may seem all ual, that I've taken a liking to you for the carnal leverage, and though that's partially true, I also think we've got something good here. You're easy to get along with. You make me smile and you're kinda funny. You're easy on the eyes—kidding, I think you're... pretty. Accept the compliment. You asked me if I missed you one night, I told you maybe I did, but what I was holding back was that I couldn't stop thinking about you, that you were on my mind constantly, as was that cute, coy smile and those pretty brown, purple, blue, eyes—whichever colored lenses—whatever, you look ethereal in all of them.

I get this wave of excitement when I see your name pop up, and get antsy when you're not in the room talking to me or giving me your attention—you've grown on me and I think I've become addicted to you. Why else would I feel the need to talk to you day in and out? I know it doesn't seem like it, but I'm really just saving you from how annoying I can get when I'm wanting attention. Even writing this I'm annoying myself.

Anyway, I'm definitely rambling. I like you. You make my heart do the doki doki thing and get my **** extra mega hard. (I'm gross, and totally not mature, contrary to your belief.)

I like you.
I like you.
I like you.

Just had to get this out of my system. Tons of hearts @ you!!!!

— Mingyu

dec 21

#

Miss you when you're not around.

Feels like suffocation's got a hold around me,
and I try to convince myself that it's okay
because for you any feeling, any emotion is worth it.

And I tell myself that if you ever hurt me, I'd
endure it because you'd be worth the pain.
I think I'm in l*** with you; I think I'm insane.
That much I know, but it's you,
you you you
who keeps me afloat just as much as you're to blame.

It's too soon, you might say.
But I've never felt this way before,
and you're a lot of my firsts so this fits the bigger picture.
You fit in my world.

Should have asked you to be my boyfriend this way,
since you seem to be into poetry and the like
but I'm not the best at thinking on my feet and I can't really rhyme.
Then again I'm ALSO not the best at thinking in your presence.
BUT I'll ask you again, will you perhaps be my boyfriend?

dec 24

I'm just glad I have you and that I can call you mine. This is cheesy and probably unnecessary, but I'm growing so attached to you. At this point I know I'm never letting you go. You're mine. My baby boy. Mine mine mine. If anyone else tried it, I would-- , I would end them. Truly. I get worked up just thinking about that kind of thing. Don't ever let anyone else get too close? Not even your best friend!??! HUFFS.

as of now you're everything to me. I'm addicted. And I need my dose frequently, so don't ever feel too shy or afraid to approach me, or to whine or just talk--anything. Even in the dead of the night, even when I'm not here, you can always come to me, leave me with an abundance of messages, or even just one. You don't know how happy it'd make me to know that I'm on your mind, that you want to talk to me even if it's over the most ridiculous things.

I don't know how to end this. Wish I didn't have to but I'm running out of words.

i adore you, wooyoung

— mingyu

dec 25

sidenote: i forgot about this for two days haha

Miss you! That's really it. Also, was telling Seungcheol that I wanted to rabbit with you as we were rabbiting. Might or might have not upset him heheh. BUT ONE DAY! MOVIE DATE. We can watch whatever. I'll probably just end up looking at you because you're a masterpiece and all I need anyway-- fjkjfj too cheesy? I'll tone it down. We'll have snacks and a blanket, and it'll be warm and cozy and we could just watch any movie because let's be honest, any movie with you would be worth paying attention to. I'd try my hardest to focus on the screen despite what I just said- cries a lil.

dec 29

nonsensical

Why does not talking to you for one day have me feeling at my worst?

You're the best of me, reason I smile and laugh.

I asked what I would do without you and you said be lonely and you're not wrong.

I'd be lost without you. Absolutely devastated to not have my bit of sunshine to light up my world.

I miss you, and yet I don't talk to you because I dunno. I don't wanna bother you.

I know I should. But I'd feel like a fool asking for your attention every minute of the day.

You'd get tired of me in a heartbeat if I did pester you as much as I truly want to haha

I guess I'm just scared. Of what? I don't know.

Perhaps of admitting feelings I'm still unsure of, accidentally slipping up in front of you.

I'm rambling, but maybe these are things that need to be said.

You're everything.

You're my everything.

I couldn't turn this feeling off even if I tried.

Still blathering, but you've gotta know.

I adore you so much.

You're so, so unbelievably good to me and I'm not sure if I deserve you.

But I want you, and I'll keep you

now and forever.

dec 30??? midnight?? drugged??? yikes

baby, baby.

I don't know what you're doing right now, but I hope you're having a good day. you and your beautiful face. hhh so pretty ok. change of topic but I'm v hard for you rn. like Jesus Christ you'd think with all the ing I'd be good to go but no. my body just wants you and the delicious heat yours offers.

I'd probably *** to just the thought of you. Chase that high, with your name on the tip of your tongue as I in my hand. Sadly you wouldn't be there to clean it all up like a good boy, but , just the image of that... does things to me. I'm thirsty and needy as hell right now. you've no idea the things you do to me... the way you make me feel. the things I'd do for you. The things I'd do to you.

Cutting this short before I actually cream my pants. Tempting but gross.

ok, i'm done

xx Mingyu

jan 2

I'm so sleepy, on the brink of falling asleep as I write this but honestly I've got to say it. Put it out there. Talking to you is the highlight of my day. Doesn't even matter what you say, simply hearing your voice and knowing your attention is on me makes me so, so incredibly happy. I like you so much, Woo. From that cute smile, the little dimple on your cheek, the way you are with me, how you carry yourself around me. It's so hard not to fall for you more and more each day. You're so attentive and fixate on the little things, and you show your worry and—just everything about you. Everything.

I'm so beyond lucky to have you. You've surpassed whatever I thought it was I'd be getting when I first asked you to be my boyfriend. To tell you the truth I was stalling the moment as long as I could. I was dreading it, making it official between us. I just couldn't stand the idea of making this a thing between us and then having it turn out a complete mess. Didn't want to ruin what we had, risk anything at all. I was afraid I'd fail at this. Fail you as a person.

But I think we work well together. Despite the fact that I'm not entirely the way you are, so on top of things, so willing and there for me... I think we're good together. I like you, so so so so much, and you like me back, and it's amazing that you do. Why? Why do you?

Truthfully, I've forgotten the point of this. I just... nothing can explain or measure the amount of feelings I've got for you. it's inexplicable.

but woo, You're the most important person in my life. You make me so ing soft. I'd do anything for you. I'm so utterly whipped for you... you have no idea, baby.

I'll stop here, can't keep my eyes open any longer.

I'm so heart eyes emoji for you. The feeling in my chest is so overwhelming and you're the reason for that.

Ok!! Enough writing for me.

I'm sleeping.

Goodnight for me. I'll see you in my dreams, beautiful.

xx mingyu

jan 6 @ 1am???

mad. I don't even know the reason. just been upset all day which really just is the reason why I didn't talk to you much. wanted to, but laziness and feeling rather upset was just drawing me away. I'm just really ing mad?! like I literally walked into a chair and lost my ??? but thinking about you, writing something for you is winding me down, slowly. feel at peace with the image of your face in my mind, brings me a sense of clarity besides the inner turmoil I've got going on.

also I wanna kiss you softly but at the same time shove you onto the nearest surface and you until you cry, squeeze your neck until your pretty face turns pink—till your from the slight suffocation and pleasure. wow I did not expect this to take such a turn.

k so now I'm needy as . cool.

wristy @ me.

xx your boyfriend :(

jan 12

kim mingyu Jan 2, 2019 2:25:03

I'm starting to doubt you like me the way I like you. Not to dishearten you or anything.

But I'm in so deep, . I am so ing in love with you.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

I. Love. You.

Wooyoung, I love you so much.

And yet I won't tell you this because I'm a ing coward.

Great

— a restless fool for you

FebRuary 14 @ 11:51PM

i wonder how long it will take you to find this message, even if i shade it a different colour in an attempt to catch your attention. i think until you notice it, i'll keep silent and just wait for you to realise it's here, out in the open. 

if someone had of told me, two months ago, that i actually had a chance to be your boyfriend, i would have cried liar to their faces before swaggering off sassily because let's be real here - you're perfect. You may not think so, in fact i happen to know you think rather little of yourself, but whether or not you agree with me; you are perfect. you know already that i was promised to someone else. we had it planned out and everything, how we were going to go about it. but then i noticed you. 

tall, elegant, a master with words yet still rather reserved - yes, you caught my eyes and despite my best attempts, i couldn't stop watching you. more times than i care to admit, i would simply lurk on the couches of the rooms and just observe how you interacted with others around you. you didn't seem to have an interest in anyone, and despite me supposedly having an interest with another man, i felt drawn to you. i swindled out of my soon-to-be relationship because i wanted you, and i wasn't going to let anyone take that chance away from me. 

when we first interacted, in the rated room, i never realised just how deep into the rabbit hole we were going to fall. i only intended to catch your attention and maybe get you to notice me more in the other rooms when i was active. yet one thing led to another - we went from having me on my knees to having you between my thighs as my nails dug into your taller form. I'd heard those kind of stories, where one gets attached to the person they lose their ity to but i didn't think it would happen to me. turns out i was wrong. i was hooked on you, and not because you were extremely satisfying in the bedroom. but because you knew how to hold my attention without knowing you were doing so. if we wanted to, we could easily talk for hours and it would feel like seconds. every moment i am with you, i feel like i'm home. you make me laugh, sometimes in the past you brought me to tears - both good and bad, but most importantly you make me feel like i'm worth something; you make me feel like i'm important, that i'm needed, and that's a sensation i've never had a chance to experience before.

you bring out the best in me, i only hope i bring out the best in you. i know we had a rough period, where i was nothing but insecure and terrified that you had lost interest in me. i berate you for having low self respect yet i'm no better. and that's part of why we need one another - because we see the value in one another and can help the other to see it for ourselves too. we don't spend as much time together like we used to, but that's okay. i know you'll be there for me when i need you the most and you know if you want me, you can reach me in other ways. i will never leave you on read, mingyu. you are a part of my soul, a part of my heart and a part of my body. 

sometimes, it isn't how much you interact with people that determines how close you are, but how much you care. we don't need to talk every day, all day, for me to know you love me. and so i'm always willing to wait for you; my buppy; because i know that eventually you'll desire me and when those times come, i will always be here. 

i love you, kim mingyu. through the light and the dark times, through thick and thin, good and bad, the ups and downs, the happy and sad, the beautiful and the ugly; every day and every night that we are alive - i will never stop what i feel for you. 

Happy valentine's day, my handsome buppy, kim mingyu

-- wooyoung x