truth be told, when we first began the childish arguing i thought, oh, this was like any other. just aimless bickering because, let's be honest, who do i Not bicker with. but till today i don't know what it was that made me so drawn to you. like opposite ends of the magnets, no matter how much i pulled away, i would inevitably find my way back into your vicinity. maybe it was the way you could automatically respond back. how you wouldn't get hurt by my words, and instead retort with words that strangely excited me more. it riled me up- with anger? not quite. i just felt challenged. it's been a while since i've felt that excited bickering with someone. and maybe that was the trigger. excitement. you were my excitement.
 

but i guess that wasn't such a healthy type of excitement when all we did was go at each other's throats- willingly at that, too. and, well, we both learned that it wouldn't end well if we kept at it in the long run. eventually, those words did cut a little too deep. it went from craving a little fight now and then to craving for your presence. eventually craving for something More than just silly chides-- i realized i began wanting something that i shouldn't be. at least, not then. and when it wasn't given to me, b u t to others, well : ( you could say i got a lil itty bitty green. but it's Me. i'm too PROUD to admit to it. well, i was. funny thing is, pride is nothing when it comes to stronger affections such as this. which is why i'm no longer afraid to admit it.
 

yes. i admit. i was jealous. when you offered your affections to others, when you spoke sweetly to others and all i received was our banters and insults, and at some point, nothing at all. regardless, it was my fault too. i mean, we both came up with the game and the levels and-- we both descended all the way to level -100 So. but, enough about that. long story short, i came to realize that i didn't want it to be only that. i didn't want us to merely argue and act as if we're enemies with occasional ~moments~ because truth be told, those moments had me more confused than i already was.
 

and yet, despite it all, i realized i couldn't use my prior defense mechanism of ignoring you to erase you from my heart. as cheesy as it sounds, it only made me want to talk to you more. i wanted to ask how your day went, if you slept well, what you dreamt off. i wanted to know if you got lost again walking through the streets, if you fell asleep at ungodly hours, and if you ate. i wanted to know everything yet i could manage to say nothing.
 

i guess god really took pity on me because after the horrid 'break' or - whatever you call it, i guess things took a change for the better. those moments happened increasingly; moments of tenderness appearing more often than not. you'd ask me why i was feeling down, you'd lend me an ear when i needed to let something out, you'd offer me a hug when i needed one.
 

you allowed me to be fragile and unlike how i usually was and i was grateful for that. but what really stuck to me was how you treated me indifferently afterwards. how you stuck to your promise to pretend my vulnerable moment never happened and the next hour we're back to our playful chides. i don't know what it is about me, but i loved that. i completely, and honestly, and wholeheartedly love it.
 

i love that you can take all my sides - the highs, the lows, the strange, the average. you take me as i am. i love how you accept the nicknames i conjure for you even if you didn't agree with it in the beginning. i love how you make me smile regardless of how crappy my day has been. i love the way you'd subtly compliment me because i know each one meant a whole lot more than how it was relayed. i love the way you'd get so curious about what i have in mind, even going as far as to making ~surprise~ happen. i love how you show me sides you don't always display to others. i love that you understand my way of affection, how, when i point out your upper lip i really don't mean anything less than the fact that i'd like to kiss it any chance i get. i love how you give me the kisses anyways. i love how you can read my mind sometimes - even before i say or suggest something, you already do it. i love how your arms wrap so tightly around my waist when we lay in bed. i love how your nose slopes so elegantly, it makes me want to bite it. and i love that you let me. i love how your eyes crinkles when you smile. i love how LOUD you are. i love how big of an iron man fan you are. i love how quirky you can get. i love how you support my whipping agenda. and i mean the emojis. i love how you keep your promises and deliver it tenfold from what i expected. i love your letter. i love the fact that you even Write letters- especially to express your fanboy side. i love how you tell me your weaknesses, and i definitely love that they include me. i love how you're willing to sacrifice yourself to express that you like me, and in front of my son, too. i love how brave you are, wow. and last, but definitely not least, i love you.
 

wow. corny, i know. but could you blame me?
 

the lesbian jesus, loona's resident boy, heehee's and weewoo's bitcoin single mother has fallen for the man, the myth, the legend himself - lee hyunjae.
 

i, ha sooyoung, have fallen for the 'fake' authentic jaehyun, the cutie, the masochist, the kitty, the angel, oops, i mean m y angel.
 

i love you.

 

 

and that's . the. tea.

 

                                                                                                                                                        xoxo, your eve.