you alone are enough for me...

every day, every moment, let's be together ♥

Take bread away from me, if you wish
take air, but
do not take from me your laughter.

[..] My struggle is harsh and I come back
with eyes tired
at times from having seen
the unchanging earth,
but when your laughter enters
it rises to the sky seeking me
and it opens for me all
the doors of life.

[...] Next to the sea in the autumn,
your laughter must raise 
its foamy cascade,
and in the spring, love,
I want your laughter like
the flower I was waiting for,
the blue flower, the rose
of my echoing country.

[...] Laugh at this clumsy
girl who loves you,
but when I open 
my eyes and close them,
when my steps go,
when my steps return,
deny me bread, air
light, spring,
but never your laughter
for I would die.

- Pablo Neruda

* * *

Hello it's currently - 1:40 AM on a Tuesday as I write this my dudes (kJHDJHFD). Okay so, for starters, happy birthday to you, you, you!  You, the love of my life; you, my one and only. I should be asleep instead of writing you a birthday letter, but these days I've been having weird fits of... sadness, and it gets me reminiscing on way back when. Want to know what I've realized doing that?

I've realized how incredibly lucky I am to be loved by you of all people. I'm aware that you're worried, and that you want to love me properly. To that, I want to tell you the following: I'm patient, and for you, I'd be a monk. (wait typing that out made me laugh dfkjhdf). But. In all seriousness, I'd genuinely wait an eternity for you. Waiting for you is easy, because it's you. Because I know you'd do the same if it was me.

So, maybe my harem has gotten out of control, and maybe I have one too many girlfriends, but guess what? I have only one real lover, and I have only one person I want to kiss, one person I want to give my all to, one person I want to call mine, and that's you and no one else. I've never taken what we have for granted and on nights like these when I remember the ugly, I sigh quite... a lot.

Not a bad type of sigh but more as in, "Wow, I'm so lucky Chanyeol loves me the same way I love him." You're one of the few amazing things in my life and I could never - I will never - let you go.

I have... For the longest time, I wanted to be with you but my circumstance didn't let us enjoy each other's company. That's what upsets me the most on nights like tonight. But it's also your birthday, and you were born: you, the love of my life, was born. And I know that from here on out, we'll have all the time in the world to make up for all the times I couldn't love you, or be with you. 

Thank you for being born, thank you for being mine, thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you for showing me what it means to love earnestly, and be loved the same way.

My world has become a myriad of glittering colors and it's all thanks to you being in it. You taught me patience, and you've taught me what hard work is all about. You bring out all the best in me, and I hope I do the same for you.

Here's to your birthday, and here's to 100 more to come. 

(also, click the numbers up top if you haven't already)

— bae joohyun.