Personal Message

Pain - (Noun): Physical suffering or discomfort caused by illness or injury.
(Verb): To cause mental or physical damage to.

 Zhang Yixing "He smiles so much... I wonder if he even feels pain..."

At some point in a humans life, we get hurt. When we are hurt, we feel upset, sorrow, sadness, and mostly, pain. Pain can come from an insult, a bad break up, or, obviously, if we are injured. But perhaps Zhang Yixing never felt pure pain, even though he had nothing painless his entire life. To start off, Yixing was born with slight hemophilia, a blood disorder where his body cannot produce enough white blood cells, making even a paper cut a reason to panic. As if that weren't bad enough, Yixing was born inside of a federal prison, which was where his mother was sent when she, a poor prostitue, tried printing money off of her machine at home, since she needed it. Yixing's mother actually died in childbirth, so, Yixing was sent to his father, who lived in Beijing. His father was nowhere near a gentle man. To start out, he was schizophrenic and mentally ill, and his girlfriend was a heavy chain smoker. Yixing often times was just shoved in a room and kept there for days, until their niece would sneak in at night and feed and change him. Fast forwarding to where Yixing was about four or five, when he was able to communicate with others. His father saw that he was growing, and took the oppurtunity to use Yixing as a punching bag. Literally, Yixing was hung on a coat hanger and slapped, beaten, harrased and whipped, sometimes where he looked inhuman. But, Yixing did not cry or run off. When his father was tired and couldn't punch any longer, Yixing would remove himself from the coat hanger and bow to his father, apologizing for being a naughty boy, when he did nothing at all. One day when Yixing was earning his daily beating, his father had stopped moving. Yixing looked concerned and tried to help his father, but then, the man died. He was having an anurism, and had stopped breathing in the moment of panic. That left Yixing to live with his fathers drug addicted girlfriend. His pain does not end there. Yixing was also sent to school,where he learned to read and write. Now Yixing was poor, and had to wear the same outfits everyday. That was when he was first bullied, in the 1st grade. His hair was pulled, his clothes ripped and torn, and what did his 'guardian' do about it. Nothing. Or, what did Yixing do? He apologized and smiled at the students, saying he was sorry for distracting them with his clothing. But it got worse as he got older, and children became more violent and skilled in their insults. Finally, Yixing dropped out of school, not because of bullying, but because he wanted his students to get better grades, and that he was distracting and rude. He smiled at the students and bowed to the teachers, when not even the principal had properly treated the boy. Yixing was sent to the orphanage in high school, a year after he dropped out, by his guardian. He did not object to it, since he knew that at the orphanage, you were fed. Today, Yixing doesn't get his proper needs. He has reactive attachment disorder, ADHD, hemophilia, but he doesn't let that affect his smile.