kai - jan 14th, 1994 - telepathy - midnight circus since 2004 

He was born to a quiet family with more money than any person could ever need. It became apparent that Jongin wasn't like the other boys when he spouted naively what people were thinking. His family was horrified, because their baby boy was sick. Jongin was hushed and silenced, often beaten when he murmured something he shouldn't. He was taken from school, locked away in the west wing of his parent's estate and forgotten there when family gatherings happened. When someone asked about baby Jongin the answer was, "he's terribly sick and cannot be moved from his room-- you do not want to go see him, he's contagious you see." He knew what they thought. He could hear their voices from his room. 

When he turned nine, something snapped in him. He was tired of being locked away in the small room hidden like a sickness from the outside world. Jongin was never a child. He knew too much. He convinced the maid in charge of him to take him outside for the day because he hadn't seen the sky in many years-- And he ran, ran far away from the prision of his childhood. He never looked back.

There was a time when he realized the voices inside his head were not his own and God how it terrified to know him maybe he wasn't as insane as he originally thought. It's overwhelming to carry the burden of knowing what shouldn't always be known. He feels invasive as if he's spying when there isn't any off-switch. He knows people's darkest secrets, he knows their ugliness, and their lies.

Maybe it was the shouting of their thoughts that driven him far away from people. He doesn't want to be all knowing, he never asked to be a freak and he certainly wants the pain of the thousands of voices he hears to numb to a halt. He's the guy with knowing eyes and pitying smiles; because he knows what you do not want him to know. It's a heavy and tiring burden knowing you're not quite insane but their insanity seeps into your own mind, becoming your own thoughts at times. How could he distinguish himself from their loud roars?





    

my darlings