× vibe check

@zhan “Wouldn’t be the first time for us sharing a bed,” Hongjoong joked but it was true. Sometimes they had been sleeping in Hongjoong’s small bed, cuddling like it was the most normal thing ever and he still remembered how his heart had been racing horribly, hoping Zhan would not wake up from how hard it was hammering against his chest. The first night Hongjoong had not dared to even sleep properly because he had been afraid he would wake up with a – as Zhan has slept in just underwear and Hongjoong had just been damn lost. “Bunk beds are cool! I still love them!” He pouted a bit and nudged the other. He had always wanted to move in with his best friend, even as a child, and bunk beds had been what he had wished for. With a slide.

“Oh you know I can be a lot more dramatic,” Hongjoong laughed and shook his head amused. It was true, most time Hongjoong was easy to deal with but sometimes even he lost it and he ended up being all dramatic. Though not hard to handle, luckily. “Well, no need to have another brat, I’m the only one needed.” He winked and helped Zhan with the rest of the food before it was time to put it on the stove.

Shaking his head, he looked up at Zhan,a soft smile on his lips. “I love Jian Guo but I could never love the cat more than you,” he said and then looked down to pet the animal, scared of how Zhan would react. They were good with joking but Hongjoong somehow wanted the other to know that he meant it. That he would do anything for the cat but that he would do even more for his very best friend.

Shivers went through Hongjoong’s body and he had to hold his breath for a moment. Zhan had not been able to stop thinking of the kiss? Oh holy . So maybe he had enjoyed it as much as Hongjoong had. But did Zhan remember that it had been him? “Would you want to have another kiss?” he asked curiously, trying to act like he had no idea who had kissed Zhan. But he did. He knew exactly who had kissed Zhan and if he was honest he was ready to do it again. Just another kiss, just holding Zhan close while he could taste those beautiful, soft lips against his again and- , he needed to stop himself from thinking about this. All the time he had tried to bury his feelings for Zhan but it was impossible. They were back, crushing him with all the weight and he wanted to kiss his best friend and confess but that would ruin what they had, wouldn’t it?

@hongjoong It was a little surprising for Hongjoong to offer. At the time Zhan rejected, he wasn't doing good mentally and to have someone he cared about living with him would only make him feel like a failure. It didn't make sense but mental blocks never did. "I have a one bedroom..." He rarely had people come over anyway and when they did, his couch pulled out into a simple bed. "We could get bunk beds, like what we wanted as kids." It's a light tease and he can't help but chuckle at the thought. The memory of them as tiny toddlers gripping at each other and crying about going home amuses him to no end.

"Drama queen." Zhan easily quips back as he puts the knife down. They both knew he wouldn't kill Hongjoong. At least he hopes that it's known. "I don't have space for another brat." It's an honest response and the man doesn't think twice on it. Why should it? Everyone in their friend group knows they're thick as thieves and that Zhan usually is uncomfortable around people who act like.. that. Hongjoong genuinely the only person in his life that he is happy around while acting like a brat.

The sudden sincere words makes Zhan falter with pouring soy sauce into the wok and flinches at how salty it's going to be. It hits him hard and he feels like he can double over from the rush of emotions. Crushed under the weight of doubt within himself. It's just as a friend, he reminds himself. Screaming the sentence mentally over and over. Why did he even care?! It wasn't like he had feelings for Hongjoong. Or did he? Zhan ignored that trial of thoughts in favor of giving a slightly forced laugh. "That's not true. You love Jian Guo more than me." Hopefully a joke will save him.

Zhan can't help but feel hot under his collar as they talk about the kiss. Evenly vaguely discussing it seems to be an issue with him. The tension that he feels could be cut with a knife but Hongjoong seems blissfully unaware. Zhan is searing the chicken as he processes the questions. Should he tell the truth or lie?? Well, if his friend doesn't remember then it should be fine. "Honestly? It was... really good. Didn't expect it but I mean–" Zhan shrugs and the blush on his face is fierce. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about it." The laugh in his voice is embarrassed but light. Like the dropping off a heavy bag after a long day. He's still unsure about his uality, unsure if it's just a fluke or ual tension, but being able to share something with the one person he trusted most in the world was a relief. Even if it was vague.

@zhan “I mean, if you want a roommate, I’m definitely up for it,” Hongjoong said, a joking manner because he did not want to be rejected by his best friend again. He wasn’t even sure why Zhan had said no when he had asked first time. Was Hongjoong too messy? Was he too loud? Or was his family against two people living together? Well, his parents never really cared so there was that. He almost had grown up alone, just with Zhan, his parents home but never caring. “I’m always ridiculous. You know that.” He grinned brightly.

A huff left his lips when Zhan pointed at him with his knife. “Yah, don’t point a knife at me! What if you slip and accidentally kill me?” He whined and pouted, shaking his head urgently. He then smiled warmly definitely letting it get to his head. He loved being a brat from time to time, he loved teasing Zhan but the other always loved him anyways, after all. “And I am the only brat in your life, I hope!” he grinned happily.

A chuckle left his lips and he nodded eagerly while he patted the cat. “Of course you are my favourite person. There is no-one else I love more than you. You are the only one,” he hummed and then got up, washing his hands. He had promised to help Zhan with the food after all so here he was, helping. He tilted his head looking at the man in front of him, grabbing some vegetables and cutting it too. He didn’t want his best friend to do the work alone.

“Yeah, hangover was fine,” Hongjoong hummed and noticed how Zhan was not looking at him. So he remembered? Or not? He wasn’t too sure. But the next words made him wonder. “So you got kissed? Did you like it?” Of course he did not ask by whom. Because he knew. It was a lot more interesting to see if Zhan had liked it. Or had he found it disgusting? He chewed on his lip while he kept cutting the vegetables, staring at it so he didn’t have to look at Zhan and maybe see the disgust in his eyes. It would hurt too much. Because he felt so much for Zhan and all he wanted was to hold him and kiss him and just be close but how could he ever cross that line? Kissing him had already been a lot.

@hongjoong "I don't even think I do have some– wait we? Is this your apartment now too?" A soft laugh left Zhan's mouth at how bold the other was, still prepping things. The playful pet name almost made him chop a piece of finger off. "Wh– oh. Good." He said and fumbled with the mochis when tossed to him. It completely caught him off guard being called babe. Even in such a joking manner. "You're ridiculous. Yes, we have such good luck today." In all honesty Zhan felt like he was having horrible luck.

Snorting at the fact that Hongjoong was so confident in his answer. Zhan glanced at the other with amused smile before jokingly pointing his knife towards him. "Don't let it go to your head. The last thing I need is people thinking I'll accept any brat in my life." He said as he finished up more than half of the vegetables already. "I only have room for one in my life."

The pout on the other's lips made Zhan want to just pull him up and kiss him senseless. Instead, he focuses more on the task at hand. Starting on the rice already; putting things into the wok in front of him. He, unfortunately, looked up at just the right moment for Hongjoong to say he loved him and winked at him. It made his heart stutter and something freeze in his brain. That was new. They've said I love you to each other many times so it shouldn't be affecting him like this. Why was this happening? Zhan fought back a sigh and bit his lower lip before putting on a bright smile. "Of course you love me. I'm your favorite person." He said as he put in certain sauces and different things. Working on complete muscle memory.

Zhan listened closely to what Hongjoong was saying and it felt like something was wrong. What exactly was being said to him right now? "Oh, at least you didn't have too bad of a hangover." No blackout? Did that mean that Hongjoong remembered kissing him? Well.. if he remembered and he hadn't brought it up then that meant he didn't want to talk about it. That was the only logical answer. Zhan didn't dare to look over at the other man and decided that it was a fluke on his friend's part. Probably got him confused with some other guy that he wanted to kiss. The idea hurt way more than he thought. Zhan cleared his throat and put on a cheery voice. "Just talked to some people and, uh," Maybe he could talk about it without really talking about it. Play it off like Zhan was too drunk, considering he's a lightweight. Could help him with his crisis as well.. "I think I got kissed by someone. It was kinda intense." When Zhan glances over at Hongjoong and barely fights off the blush on his cheeks or the embarrassed smile.

@zhan “Oh man, but Mochis would be just perfect,” Hongjoong whined and looked at Zhan. “We should still have some Mochis from last time, shouldn’t we?” Curiously he looked at Yibo before he walked over to his freezer, opening it before a bright grin was on his lips. “Babe, we still have Mochi!” He took them out and threw them at Zhan, smiling slightly. He then closed the freezer again and hummed. “Guess we are lucky today.”

An amused laugh left Hongjoong’s lips and he shook his head amused. Zhan wasn’t wrong, he was a brat most of the time so it was not a lie. Though Zhan was the only one who was allowed to call him a brat, no one else could do that and just get away with it. “Mh, you are probably right. But you don’t mind that, do you?” He looked up at his friends and helped him was the vegetables before he grabbed the knife to cut it.

“Jian Guo?” There was a bout on Hongjoong’s lips. “Without me?” He huffed and knelt down, gently petting the cat. “You know how much I love your cat.” He grinned and rubbed the cat behind her ears. Then he looked up at Zhan. “And you, of course,” he said teasingly and winked at him before he looked back at the cat, cuddling it gently. He just really loved animals so much, so how could he not enjoy a good cuddle. Because he was not sure if Zhan would give him any cuddles if he admitted that he did still remember the night of the kiss. Or did Zhan not remember? Maybe. “Of course she missed me, I am her favourite,” he joked, knowing that the cat loved Zhan more than him. “Oh, I was actually okay. I did have a headache but aside from that I am fine. No blackout, no other sufferings. So yeah, just some throwing up.” And that had not been because of the alcohol but because of the panic that he had kissed his best friend and maybe ruined their friendship. “What about you?” he tried to play it down, smiling at the other.

@hongjoong Zhan ended up laughing at Hongjoong's words as he remembered the last time the other cooked by himself. It was definitely bad but that happened when you get distracted and at the time; they were playing video games. Could anyone blame Hongjoong for the food burning? There's a moment of quiet while he thinks about the offer and question of making a dessert. "Mochi goes best with it but I'll settle for some cookies." He replied easily, definitely not watching Hongjoong stretch.

The scene of the them kissing kept replaying in Zhan's mind. Even going as far as reversing their position. He could have easily grabbed the other and kissed him with the same amount– if not more –passion given to him last week. That familiar burn of his cheeks eagerly spreading up his face. Instead of addressing it, he laughed at Hongjoong and the kick to his backside. "You're a brat most of the time." He retorted and moved to wash the vegetables they'd be using.

Zhan hummed along to what his friend said and grabbed a knife to start with the prepping. The little joke about the party made him freeze for just a second and then he pushed out a small chuckle. "Oh just the usual. Working, studying, and just relaxing with–" There's a small meow from the hallway and a grey and white munchkin cat is waddling out towards them. "Jian Guo." Zhan says fondly and makes kissy noises that seems to please the cat. "I think she's missed you." He jokes before getting back to work. "I didn't drink as much as some people." Cringing inwardly at his poor choice of words. The last thing he wanted was for them to have to talk about what happened or the fact that Hongjoong probably didn't have any memory of it. "I bet you never want to drink again after throwing up so much."

@zhan “Are you sure you want me to do that? You know how bad I sometimes cook! Last time you complained about how ty my food tasted,” Hongjoong joked and nudged Zhan slightly. He had only done it a few times, ruining the food, but definitely more often than Zhan did so there was that. He preferred being with the other, cooking with him and enjoying the time he was here. Sometimes he even thought of how it would be if they moved together, it would have been so very nice but Hongjoong had only once said it jokingly and Zhan had not exactly been the happiest about it – probably because Hongjoong was quite chaotic sometimes even though he still cleaned and did the laundry.

“Should we make some dessert too?” Hongjoong asked and looked curiously at Zhan, tilting his head a bit. They both liked dessert and if Hongjoong knew how to cook something, it was definitely dessert – better than he sometimes cooked. “What would be fitting for chicken fried rice?” he asked and stretched a bit, looking at his best friend.

. He wanted to cup Zhan’s cheeks again, like he had done that one night, and kiss him again. Kiss him and hold him and just- . His brain needed to shut the up. He got up and took the glass Zhan had just filled, downing it almost entirely. “I am always a good boy,” he whined and kicked Zhan’s a bit, taking another sip from his drink. “What do you need? How can I help you cook?” he asked and looked at the food, away from the other and trying to think of something that would calm his mind. He hummed and took a few knives into his hands before putting them back down, checking what they had in front of them. “Oh? Me? Ugh, I studied and I slept a lot and I was online and all of that,” he shrugged a bit and looked at Zhan.

“And you? What did you do? Regretting that you drank so much at the party?” he chuckled a bit, knowing that he had surely been the one drinking way too much. He had had a horrible headache, but he had clearly not forgotten how wonderful it had felt to kiss Zhan, his best friend.

@hongjoong "You caught me. I want you to do all the work while I sit back and enjoy myself." Zhan was able to retort back, ignoring the surprised question. Probably already being read like an open book. All the little things that weren't where they needed to be. Hell, he hadn't even been bringing snacks home from working at the bakery. Too distracted to properly package some for himself. Also the fact he keeps getting caught up of the attractive guys that he'd never notice before. Not in this light at least.

His eyes met Hongjoong's for a moment and he knew he had to play off the sudden urge to give his signature smile of when he felt shy or overwhelmed. "Chicken fried rice it is." Zhan said with a bright smile, determined to make this work. Maybe he should get a girlfriend. No use in noticing how radiant Hongjoong's smile was. Absolutely no use in that.

Zhan rolled his eyes fondly at the playful jokes that were given to him. Taking the glasses and pouring them something to drink. "Aiyo.." He mumbled under his breath and shook his head. Ignoring the way his heart stuttered and the butterflies in his stomach fluttered at the wink. It was all so easy for the other. Being able to forget the biggest event in their relationship thus far. "Why don't you just be a good boy and drink the soda while you help me cook, hm?" The tone was purely teasing and the light smile on his lips matched. Zhan stepped forward and pushed the drink into Hongjoong's hand, the air around them starting to feel like static charged. Their eyes maintaining eye contact that was starting to drive him up the wall with this need of touch. Until he cleared his throat and patted Hongjoong's shoulder and moved to prep the chicken that had been pulled out from the fridge.

"What have you been doing this past week? Haven't really heard from you lately."

@zhan The gentle pat of Zhan on his hip made Hongjoong’s heart beat fast and, , he needed to calm down and not let his brain get crazy for just getting slightly touched by the other. Oh holy , he would definitely go crazy because of Zhan and he was not sure how he was supposed to deal with that.

“Nah, I haven’t eaten yet, you know me,” he said, laughing slightly as he followed Zhan inside, closing the door behind him and slipping into the loafers Zhan always had for him. He looked around – it felt a little off, as if Zhan had not cleaned properly the last few days and he wondered if something was going on with the other or if he was just not feeling well. Maybe getting a cold? Or maybe he was just not feeling like cleaning. Hongjoong knew way too well how that felt.

“You haven’t cooked yet?” Hongjoong asked surprised and lifted an eyebrow. That was odd, usually the other cooked around a particular time and it was rarely off – Zhan always had his particular time and habits when he did what so this was new to him. Only a handful of times he had met the other not cooking on time and they had known each other for a very long time already. “Admit it, you just did not want to cook alone, right? You wanted to let me do the work.” He nudged Zhan slightly, joking.

Humming in agreement he nodded as he looked at the ingredients, helping Zhan get out what he needed. “Fried rice with chicken is amazing, big yes,” he said and grinned at his friend. He maybe looked a little too long at him, but all Hongjoong could do was feel his heart skip a bit while he stared at the beautiful face of his best friend. . , he was definitely in love with the other despite how hard he had tried to let go. Damnit.

Hongjoong washed his hands hurriedly and chuckled. “I helped. I set the table,” he said in a joking manner but it was true. Zhan was just the better cook than he was so there was that. “Sure, anything you offer me is very fine with me,” Hongjoong hummed and grinned at Zhan, grabbing them two glasses so they could drink from it while eating. “Unless you want to share the bottle,” he then said and winked at him. A joking way but honestly he wished he could have a taste of those beautiful lips again.

@hongjoong Zhan could immediately feel a blush trying to form at Hongjoong's comment. Even though he knew that was just how his friend talked. Forcing in awfully repulsive thoughts to combat the heat to his face. He was straight. Straight. "Hm? Oh. I was watching something on my phone. Trying to decompress from today." He replied easily as he closed the door and watched as Hongjoong got comfortable.

"Have you eaten?" Usually, at this time, Zhan had food prepared and he had eaten but lately he definitely has been lacking. For obvious reasons. Considering he was a creature of habit, he can only imagine that Hongjoong would only have questions. Instead, he went for the first idea to pop into his head to keep him off his case.

Seriously, how do you explain to the cause of your uality crisis that you might have the hots for them? Or at least a casual; I haven't stopped thinking about that kiss you gave me– that you don't remember –and it might have been the best kiss of my life so let's do it again! Zhan wanted to hit his head against a wall but instead he moved towards the kitchen; patting Hongjoong's hip as he passed.

They've always been comfortable with one another after all.

"My best friend senses were tingling, so I waited until you were here so we can make food together!" Zhan said with a bright grin. "What I'm trying to say is I haven't eaten but you're welcomed to eat with me." He shrugs and is pulling out various vegetables, rice, and eggs. "Fried rice sounds good. I could add chicken too..." He said as he pulled out the cooking utensils as well. Moving with practiced ease around familiar space. Much like a dance.

Washing his hands and lifting a brow towards the other. "You better help me with cooking. I cooked by myself last time." They usually switched off on who cooked or when who paid while they ate out. A part of him wanted to have a glass of— something to calm his frazzled nerves. But Zhan was an absolute lightweight. The cup that he had during the party was only a little bit drank out of it. Which had given him a good buzz in the first place. He moved towards the fridge again and looked at the small bottle of peach soju with a tempted look, mouth chewing on his lower lip in thought. He opted for a soda instead and closed the fridge. "Want something to drink?"

@zhan Ever since Hongjoong had kissed his best friend Zhan it had haunted him. Not because he had disliked it, no, definitely not. He had enjoyed it so very much, way too much but kissing his best friend had scared him so much that he had downed another bottle of whatever was in it that he had ended up throwing up on the toilet and then falling asleep.

Kissing his best friend had scared the out of him because it had caused butterflies in his stomach to revolt and his heart feel warm. He had almost kissed him again but Zhan had looked at him with such wide eyes, Hongjoong had been sure he had seen the horror in his eyes for sure. And now the kiss haunted him because he was so very scared to lose his very best friend. He needed Zhan in his life, without him he would be so very ing lost.

Despite Hongjoong having no hard time to fall into place with people Zhan was the only person he ever let really close. Whenever he had struggles with his families or classes or work or anything, he always went to Zhan. He trusted the other completely. And definitely more. He had been crushing on his best friend for a long time, he had known that, but he also had thought he had worked it through. He had tried his best to move on because Zhan was anything but gay and Hongjoong could not risk their friendship for anything.

Until this fateful night he had gotten way too drunk. It was a miracle he still remembered – though he would definitely act like he did not.

When Zhan opened the door, a bright grin was seen on Hongjoong’s lips, pretending he was not seeing the most beautiful human being ever. .

“Hey! I haven’t seen you ever since the party and it was time to annoy your pretty again!” Hongjoong grinned and wished he could slap his face. Yes, Zhan had a pretty but why did he have to mention it? Surely, that was how he usually spoke but ing heck. Sometimes his mind was going places it should not. “Were you doing something?” Hongjoong asked as he walked in, taking off his shoes and jacket.

@hongjoong It felt like a lifetime ago when Hongjoong had laughed his way into Zhan's life.

On the first day of kindergarten and young Zhan was very nervous. His family just moving from China not even a couple months ago. It was within a few days did he get in trouble, making his first best friend on that day. Shouting out the words 'oh, damn' when dropping a cup of juice. The other boy laughing and mimicking him. They were both punished and had to stay in from playing outside. Years later, they've grown together and have learned more about one another than anyone else.

It was a Friday when he's bugging Hongjoong about going out with him. A mutual friend is throwing a party for their birthday; it was suppose to be a big celebration. Thankfully the other agrees and he knows it's going to be fun.

At least Zhan thought so but here he stands by himself against a wall, watching everyone meander about. People are in the process of being drunk or already plastered. He sips on his own mixed drink, scanning for anyone he knows. Then he hears a familiar but slurred voice shouting out 'vibe check!' just in time for Zhan to look up and sees his best friend.

At first he's confused before hands are cupping his face and he's being pulled down slightly; hot mouth pressed against his own. Zhan gasps in shock and Hongjoong is sliding a tongue in, pulling out a small noise at the action. It could be the hands in his hair or the skill that comes even with a good kiss while drunk but by the end of it Zhan is breathless. All he hears is wolf whistles and a mumble before Hongjoong is stumbling away. He's shell shocked and he feels so many emotions, thoughts racing. It isn't until their friend is telling him that Hongjoong fell asleep in the bathroom that he moves.

That happened a week ago and Zhan is currently in the throes of a uality crisis. Over the fact that the kiss wasn't bad. It was good and a part of him– maybe –wanted to do it again. Would finding a guy and doing the same thing feel the same? Sure, he's noticed when a guy is attractive but this other stuff was completely new. He feels like he's being an idiot and he should just drop it but the memory of— it always makes Zhan's heart race and feel like he was blushing. There's a knock that makes him jump so violently he tumbles off the couch where he was sprawled out on; already dangling off the edge. "Ah- one minute!" He yells out, rubbing his head as he rushes to the door. Zhan opens it and is surprised when he sees the culprit to his problems. "Hongjoong! What are you doing here?" He asks but still steps aside for Hongjoong to come in.

@zhan @hongjoong Happy roleplaying!