my coworkers say

I have a very unique habit of meeting the strangest people. (I honestly never met a 'normal' person in my life.) They tend to say things off the wall. For example, my coworkers.

Coworker 1: Tom, can you go water the plants?

Tom: Sure. I was about to go to the bathroom anyways.

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Me: I was kinda surprise at how cheap it was honestly. Well...if you don't buy multiples.

Coworker: Crack is cheap too if you only buy one.

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Manager: -after a meeting- Just make sure that you make it home before the storm does. We don't want you to get caught in it.

Coworker: So if it's still storming at 7AM does that mean I don't have to come in to work?

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Coworker: (she's a sweet old lady who have an incredible smart mouth it seems) You know, I'm getting tired of (talking about another coworker) messing up everything.

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Me: Well, Miss Victoria said she caught the guy father trying to steal a laptop and then said he forgot.

Coworker: How the you forget to pay for a laptop. That's like saying you forgot to die.

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Coworker: I never leave food in the fridge. I once left a bowl of food in the fridge and someone ate it and then put the bowl back in the fridge like nothing happen.

Me: -laughing- Did they at least clean the bowl?

Coworker: No! Left it in there, dirty bown and all. I just threw it in the trast I was so mad.

Same coworker from forgetting to die: I remember one cleaning lady from earlier she threw away my bowl saying it's been in there for a week. I couldn't stand her . I guess her husband couldn't stand her either because as soon as she retired he died.