DISCLAIMER: THIS IS IN NO WAY ME TRYING TO MAKE ANYONE FEEL BAD, PRESSURE, MAKE ONE FEEL LESS OF THEMSELVES OR ANYTHING! ALL THAT THIS IS IS ME VENTING/RAGING/RANTING! READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRESSION!
Like most (if not all) of you here, I love roleplaying. My problem is that I am really, really picky. I know that I am good, so I expect the people I roleplay with to be good as well. I know that sometimes things like dyslexia and English not being your first language can be hindering, but I can easily look past that! I would give some specific names, but because I know that people are sensitive to these things, I won't. After all they know who they are and that I enjoy my time with them.
I know that part of my problem is that I pretty much only do , but I feel that I am really bad at others. I feel that I am okay wtith hetero as the female, a bit worse as the male and even worse with yuri. Better bottoming as a girl than topping. I make a damn good dom male and an almost just as good bottom, but when I want to work on any of the things I am bad at in this prespective everyone is like, "Sorry. I onlly do this. I never top. I'm so terrible at that! blah blah blah."
And yeah. Okay. I face chase. I really try not to, but if it's hard for me not to picture one muse with another, then it's really hard for me to get into it. I don't have an OTP, but there are ships that I like. I also have a lot of crack ships like Lee Hyori and Gackt, Zhou Mi and Lee Hyori, Lee Hori and Miyavi, Daesung and Jonghyun of SHINee, Zhou Mi and YiFan and others.
Another thing I understand completely is being busy with real life. School. Family. Work. No muse. Depression. Lack of motivation. Trust me, I get it. I've been there far too many times in all fo those areas than I could count. But it seems that whenever I get into a couple (because lets face it, I'm one of those people) the other person gets too caught up in one of those areas I just mentioned and I am stuck twiddling my thumbs and waiting for a reply. The internet has really ed with my attention span and I'm really ashamed of that, so it makes the whole waiting process that much worse. I try to watch shows, anime, movies and even youtube, but I sometimes can't help but to check RPR every few minutes or check that some people are online in HOPES that I get replies from those people. I KNOW that they are busy for their own reasons, but I still cannot help but to pine for interactions from them. I am a patient person and many have complimented me on that, but I do get impatient. At the same time I'm really good at burring it, but after a while I just want to scream.
Sometimes I run across people that are great to talk to OOC and are even good writers, but then I find out how old they are and it ruins it. Yeah, I a lot and there are times that there is no real plot to it, but every single time I try to give plots as much substance/feeling/emotion/plot/back story as possible. I'm 23. I got into Kpop right before I turned 20 and then roleplay a few months later. Back then I was okay with doing with other typist people aged 16 because they showed me that they were mature and they didn't bug the living ing out of me for replies. Now-a-days it seems that those 16/15 year olds have found their own ways to poke for a reply without doing it. Why I keep attracting people 15-17 NOW at 23 is beyond me. I AM TOO OLD TO WITH YOU! STOP TRYING! STOP TRYING TO BE MATURE! I AM FAR TOO OLD FOR YOU NOW! I know that I can seem younger based on how I spazz or whatever, but I try to be me and yeah. Online people still think that I am younger than what I am. It . In real life people think that I am 17 to 20 and I know that is great and all for when I get older, BUT DAMN IT! I want to be taken seriously. Especially because I am trying to get into the hospitality industry.
Any more when I do have those post I am really into it can take me 1-10 days to reply, but that's because I like to take my time and make sure that my reply is good. My muse, inspiration and blah blah blah effects it at times, but when I get those people that send me messages when I am online just to see if I will respond really urkes me. Especially if it's in pm within a roleplay. For example, this one person and I have a cool plot going on within a roleplay, but if I don't respond OOC (PM) or reply within so many hours or a day, I get a message in PM with "((words))". It really irritates me and it's always things that you can tell they want a reply to (like I just watched two movies and am so happy or I just took a nap blah blah blah) or questions about what's going to happen within our post when it should have been made clear with things I have said about it previously. I'm seriously about to take a full two week hiatus in that roleplay to see if they loose interest/stop poking me in such a way because I'm tired of it.
Bleck.
Anyway. I'm seriously about to straight up stop joining ANY roleplays. I know that I have said this many times already, but eue. I also know that I can meet amazing milti-para/novelist in roleplays, but it has been really hard to do it for the last I think eight months. Plus it seems that everyone has lives and professional lives and self decline aside from me, so I don't even see the ing point in trying any more.
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