and will to live at times. It's this fluctuation of ups and downs. One second I'm beaming at the life growing in my garden. Then I'm the one providing the water to the flowers with my tears wondering how I can be so sad. I'm so unhappy. I'm happy but I'm so sad. So sad underneath. As much as I feel I'm happy I don't feel it reaches the entirety of my body... I don't know how to describe it. It's a melancholy happiness with sadness always lingering undenreath the surface waiting to blossom.
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