Personal Message
kim minsung | ulzzang | aug.24 | smoker | dom
 
he yawned gently
 
thats like a soft boop
Description
kim minsung Jan 11, 2020 17:27:03
i knew you were kinda dense, and can see so clearly that you have issues about the image of yourself. 
you have no idea, how much i want to reach out to you, want to reassure you that you're perfect. 
truth be told, i've come to realise that i can't keep this going afterall; can't keep being okay with this "pet" situation.
because i'm not.
jimin knows. but i can't tell you so. you have too many admirerers. so many people better than me. 
maybe it's just as well you forget to respond to me a lot. 
i should tell you; reach out and say "hey, remember me?" but i also feel i shouldn't. 
maybe i see too much of a care factor; if you wanted to talk to me, you'd remember. 
this is fine though. it's best to quell the emotions i feel building up for you, and just pretend everything is as it should be.
 
kim minsung Jan 12, 2020 14:32:40
how quick i am to go back on my own thoughts. i didn't think i'd just tell you flat out that i wanted to start courting you.
not the words i used but the intentions are there. you do that. stir me up and rile me high to a point i feel i can't breathe.
to think, a month ago you were just a pretty face that looked like you'd moan well for my amusement. 
and now, all i want to do is hold your hand and whisper little things. 
you my head up. i don't know yet if that's good or bad.
only time will tell i guess.
 
kim minsung Jan 14, 2020 11:49:33 
"please don't ever leave me" 
if only you knew how much those words bring me faith. 
faith that even with the sheer evidence that your heart lies with another, that maybe i stand a chance.
lately there's been a lot of maybes in my head. i don't know what to make of that.
i need to keep planning, need to keep focusing on expressing to you what you truly mean to me. 
i don't every want you to feel objectified. don't want you to think all i want is to use your body. 
how you doubt your personality, i'll never know, because you have me hooked on you.
 
kim minsung Jan 15, 2020 15:51:26
i barely heard from you today, but that's on me and not you. 
seeing you, how you interact with others, i found it hard to breathe.
so i have to leave. by the time i did end up replying to you, you were in bed asleep. 
i feel horrible, that i wasted a chance i had to be around you and your beautiful smile.
sometimes even watching from a distance can be as painful as watching up close.
 
kim minsung Jan 18, 2020 0:42:54
why do i break what i care most for? 
why do i keep stepping back and making it all break because there's someone better? 
why can't i just be happy with what i get? 
i ruined our date. and i was enjoying it. enjoying having you all to me somewhere we could learn more. 
but then i had to let my jealousy get to me. had to rip up everything that's been tormenting me silently for days and unleash it on you.
you don't deserve that. 
now i'm struggling to sleep. eyes red and sore from the amount of tears i've let go because i'm afraid of letting you go. 
but the small part of me, the selfish side, it keeps showing up. keeps telling me, "so what?" 
i shouldn't step back; shouldn't let what makes me happy slip away. 
even jimin asked me "is it worth it?" 
i like to think it is. like to think you are.
but what do i do?
i'm in love with you.
 
kim minsung Jan 18, 2020 23:58:52
i know, that you said you love me. and that alone means a lot. 
i just wish it was the way i love you. 
still, i shouldn't be greedy. i should be understanding.
after all, don't i love two people?
although these days, one has changed to that of companionship and care.
which leaves just you in my heart. 
but can i ever be the only one in yours? 
 
kim minsung Jan 20, 2020 01:03:52
i feel so stupid. 
you told me, that you would be out. 
and yet i stayed up waiting for you. 
part 3 or is it part 4, of over a million ways that i bring pain down on myself. 
i get all excited about seeing you, and then that side of me that likes to shatter my happiness says hi and tries to wreck me. 
i shouldn't bother you. you're tired, maybe hungover. 
i'll go to sleep, and see what tomorrow- or i suppose, today, brings.