❛⠀basics.

• Nickname(s): Angel.
• Date of Birth: October 4 — 27 years old.
• Zodiac Sign(s): Libra — Pig.
• Place of Birth: Saro.
• Occupation: Royal concubine of Saro.
• Spoken Language(s): Korean (native).
• ual Orientation: Demiual.
• Romantic Orientation: Demiromantic.
• Relationship Status: Officially in a concubinage with the Queen of Saro — considers himself single beyond his obligations.

❛⠀appearance.

• Height: 178 cm (5'10").
• Weight: 61 kg (134 lbs).
• Hair Color: Black (natural).
• Eye Color: Dark brown.
• Piercing(s): Lobe piercings on both ears.
• Tattoo(s): none.
• Clothing Style: What distinguishes Youngho from the other royal concubines is a lavender-colored po (outer robe) he always wears over his hanbok.

•.*★ chapter one。 antebellum.

Like most consorts of the Queen, Ahn Youngho had the privilege — or rather misfortune of being born into an aristocratic family.

He had it all — the privilege of wearing exquisite attire woven with silk, money, literacy, beauty (he's lost count of how many times his family had boasted about his physical appearance, and he would be lying if he said that he didn't consider himself pretty) — but life was far from perfect. Despite being in Saro, the most socially progressive kingdom of Korea, Youngho's family held onto their conservative views. Even though it'll help them climb up the social ladder, they are strongly against Youngho becoming a candidate for one of the Queen's consorts for the wrong reason — they believe that men should be the one in power and that it is wrong for men to "submit" to women regardless of who they are.

Youngho had developed an interest in literature not too long after he started becoming a scholar and dreamed of becoming a writer. His family, however, was also against it. They believed that if a man could not become king, he should instead serve the country as a soldier. "Literature is for those who are too weak to become a real man," they said, thus forcing Youngho to give up on his dream.

While he grew up under a restrictive, patriarchal family, Youngho was a cheerful boy who was willing to befriend both nobles and commoners alike, much to his parents' dismay. His rebellion came in the form of sneaking out after his lessons to explore the world and perhaps meet new people. He would go anywhere from the city plaza to the depths of the forest, sometimes to the point of nearly going missing because he lost track of where he was.

His favorite spot was the meadow far away from home. Youngho liked people, but sometimes he needed time away from them and their suffocating expectations for him. He loved the way the flowers brushed lightly against the silk of his hanbok as he ran around the field — how the soil would taint the gold on his upper garment as he lied down on the grass with his head pressing against his small palms. He loved gazing at the full moon illuminating the night sky above him as he imagined what life could have been for him. 

And that was where he met her. 

•.*★ chapter two。 pax tecum.

The night breeze was cooler than usual when eleven-year-old Youngho arrived at the meadow. His education had shifted from philosophy and religion to martial arts because his family wanted to prepare him for the military as early as possible, and he had just finished his lessons for the day. Tthe scars and bruises on his limbs as a result of his training were faintly visible against the glow of the moon. All he could think about was how much he hated it. His parents and mentors told him that the country might go to war tomorrow for all they know, and it would be his job as a man to go to the frontlines and fight. But Youngho was a pacifist. He couldn't even hurt a fly, much less kill a person.

His train of thought was interrupted by an abrupt snap coming from a nearby tree. A loud crashing sound followed before he could react. He straightened himself up and rushed towards the direction of the noise. The moonlight had barely reached this side of the meadow, but he could make out the outline of a thick branch... and a young girl lying prone on top of it.

That was the first time he met Seo Yeonah, a girl who was like the ray of hope to his bleak life — a girl who he stayed alive for even when life became more miserable by the minute. He hadn't known that the girl was the Queen's daughter until their friendship turned a few months old, but the fight that broke out soon afterwards was enough to tell him that she loathed her title. He realized that he did not want to anger her a second time, for he feared that he would lose the moonlight to his night sky.

Youngho was in love with her.

And maybe he wouldn't have lost her if he wasn't such a coward.

His family was getting more rigorous and demanding with his military preparation, and Youngho felt his life slowly chipping away with every passing day. Gone was the cheerful boy of the Ahn family. He started to mold himself into the set of expectations for soldiers and stripped himself away from intense emotions. He smiled less and presented himself as a stoic, cold-hearted man from the Ahn family. It got to the point where he would unintentionally intimidate people, but it didn't matter. If his purpose was to fulfill his family's expectations and die as a soldier, so be it.

Yeonah, however, was an exception to his change in attitude. Though he was noticeably less cheerful than before, he retained most of his old personality around her. He didn't want her to see the empty shell he had become, so he would maintain a happy-go-lucky, playful facade in front of her. If there was one thing he couldn't let go of, it was his undying love for her, even though he had long convinced himself that she did not reciprocate his feelings.

Six years after they first met, they agreed to meet again at the same place. The full moon was hanging on the sky above them, and the night breeze sent a shiver down his spine when he climbed up to higher grounds. His heart was heavy, and his mind was occupied by a plethora of thoughts. It was somewhat reminiscent of the night he encountered her. He had something to tell her — something he knew was inevitable but could have never prepared for, but the time has finally come. He will be sent off to the military for god knows how long, and it was time to bid her farewell.

Little did he know that she was the first to say goodbye.

Yeonah's farewell was preceded by a shocking revelation — she was pregnant with another man's child. It was only a matter of time before the queendom finds out and punishes her. Youngho regretted how it had to be the very thing that prompted him to say the words he should have said from the beginning:

"I love—"

He could only watch her leave before he finished his sentence.

As much as he didn't want to watch the nation publicly humiliate her, he mustered up the courage to be there when they sent Yeonah away. It was the last time he'd seen her, and he spent the next decade not knowing if she was still alive. His resentment for the queendom started there, but he had no choice but to serve them as a soldier. His life, unfortunately, did not stop after losing her.

•.*★ chapter three。 de novo.

content warning: child neglect, huge age gap relationship.

Youngho dedicated his life to the military and quickly rose up to the ranks. They called him a prodigy — a natural at everything he does — but he had only thrown his life to those bastards because that was the only thing he was good for. He was proficient in both combat and strategy, and was considered one of the most versatile military personnel of his batch. He was an excellent soldier, and nothing else mattered more than that. His family was more than satisfied with the man he had become.

And he thought that it was enough. He fulfilled their expectations, so he can be free from now on, right?

Wrong.

Shortly before he was about to be promoted to a full-time military personnel, he was approached by someone who had close connections to the Queen. Youngho expected it to be a ludicrous job offer from the palace, but he was only half correct. It was indeed a job offer, and the person promised to compensate him with more than he could ever wish for, but it required him to commit an atrocity he never thought he would ever do:

Overthrow the Queen.

Youngho hated violence, and even after a few years in training, he still does — but he hated the nation and everyone who took Yeonah away from him more. He hesitated less than he thought he would, and soon enough, he left his promising military career to become one of the Queen's consorts.

Youngho had grown into a handsome young man with defined features, and his physical appearance certainly appealed to the Queen. He was smart, he was strong — and most importantly, he knew exactly how to craft a persona that would charm her. With their personal recommendation, Youngho managed to land a place in the palace as Queen Seonghye's fourth concubine. All that was left was to plan a coup against her.

In the meantime, the Queen gave birth to their first son when Youngho was 20. They — no, she named him Seo Hanjae. He viewed the child as nothing more than a potential heir to the throne and left him in the care of the palace maids. Hanjae was only a product of his obligations for the Queen, and he didn't feel even the slightest affection for the kid. Youngho didn't want anything to do with him, so to speak.

However, when war broke out in the Korean Peninsula, he was forced to evacuate to a secret island with Hanjae. As cruel as it sounded, it was liberating in a sense that he was free from the Queen, but at the same time, he was forced to care for a child he never even loved in the first place.

With the sudden unification of the three kingdoms on the island, there was no guarantee that he could keep his secrets with him much longer.

[ background will be expanded as the rp progresses. ]

⸢ ⋆ ⸥ likes。
literature ― philosophical talks ― late night ― green tea ― all shades of purple (especially lavender) ― mind games ― autumn ― journals ― rain ― making himself look pretty ― learning new things ― squirrels ― freedom ― cooking ― art ― music.

⸢ ⋆ ⸥ dislikes。
authority (although he will generally comply to avoid conflict) ― unnecessary violence ― being a puppet ― having his freedom taken away ― overly sweet things ― narrow-minded people ― farewells.

⸢ ⋆ ⸥ hobbies。
reading ― writing ― going on walks ― meditating.

⸢ ⋆ ⸥ secrets。
it depends on who's asking ― he hides so many different things from so many different people.

⸢ ⋆ ⸥ goals。
he grew apathetic to almost everything over time ― he only lives to fulfill his end of the plan to overthrow the queen and as one of the queen's consorts while she is still in power.

⸢ ⋆ ⸥ vices/bad habits。
binge drinking ― reckless behavior.

•.*★ important。 Please try to familiarize yourself with my character before plotting. I will do the same for yours.

•.*★ writing style。 I write in 3rd POV only. I can range from para to novella, but I will generally mirror your length.

•.*★ plotting style。 I prefer plotting even if it's just a little bit to give myself an idea on where our thread is going, but I don't really mind winging as well.

•.*★ overall。 I'm open to any genres except for now (unless I give you explicit consent to it, but I tend to avoid it if possible). Also, IC =/= OOC. Anything my character says/does is not a reflection of my views, though if I ever did anything to upset/offend you, please be aware that it is purely unintentional and that my PMs are open for discussion.

•.*★ important。 I will never poke you. Never poke me or I will ragequit/ignore you. You also don't need to remind me about me owing you a reply. I usually remember who I'm roleplaying with. Also refrain from using my activity or lack of it as an excuse to pester me about a reply. Doing like that will just annoy me and make me prolong sending something if I send something at all.

My reply speed varies depending on my muse/ooc schedule. I try to reply in order, but exceptions can always be made for threads I have more muse with and/or shorter ones. Replies tend to be sporadic these days. Please inform me if you'd like to drop our thread!

I roleplay in rooms only to keep the rp active. PMs are for plotting only. Please do not post on my wall unless I allow you to.

•.*★ personality。 descensus in cuniculi cavum.

content warning: mentions of substance abuse.

Being a puppet to do other people's biddings has made Youngho's heart grow cold over time. His once cheerful self has been replaced by a rather stoic, apathetic one. He considers himself nothing more than an empty shell that can be replaced when he is no longer deemed worthy. Life has stripped him off his ambitions and dreams, and now he is only alive for two purposes ― to fulfill his end of the deal to overthrow the Queen and to become her plaything during her reign.

Some people may consider Youngho "a waste of intelligence". His upper class origin allows him to receive the best education available in the country, thus making him a well-read and "educated" person. He continues to make himself open to learning new things even beyond academics and openly rejects his family's conservative mindsets. He is also a natural charming person and knows exactly how to get on people's good side.  

Perhaps some would expect him to be a calculated person due to his intelligence, but Youngho is the opposite of that ― he often indulges himself in odd substances that somehow makes him euphoric and binges on alcohol to relieve his stress. He also frequently engages in reckless behavior that could endanger both him and people around him, but he couldn't care less. All he wanted was to feel alive.

•.*★ 서한재。 the abandoned child.

Note: Hanjae will normally be absent from Youngho's plots unless otherwise stated. He is free to use as an NPC if the plot calls for it, but please read the information below before doing so.

• Full name: Seo Hanjae.
• Age: 7.
• Family: Queen Seonghye of Saro (biological mother) — Ahn Youngho (biological father).
• Personality: Reserved, shy, prone to anger, gets clingy whenever someone shows him the slightest bit of affection, actively seeks attention from his father.
• Faceclaim: tba.

•.*★ message in a bottle #1。 date.

dear yeonah,

i̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶r̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶t̶o̶o̶k̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶w̶h̶e̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶i̶s̶ ̶l̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶c̶h̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶u̶n̶l̶i̶k̶e̶l̶y̶ ̶e̶v̶e̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶t̶ ̶d̶o̶e̶s̶,̶ ̶i̶ ̶j̶u̶s̶t̶ ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶

i̶ ̶h̶o̶p̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶'̶r̶e̶ ̶a̶l̶i̶v̶e̶

i̶t̶ ̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶o̶n̶l̶y̶ ̶b̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶a̶ ̶w̶e̶e̶k̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶i̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶s̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶m̶u̶c̶h̶ ̶a̶l̶r̶e̶a̶d̶y̶.̶

i hope you've been well. i don't know if this letter will ever reach you, but i miss you. i hope you know that i'm not angry at you, and that you don't deserve to be banished for this. you deserve better. you really do.

it's strange how i started penning this letter down with a lot in my mind, but none of my thoughts managed to translate into words. i suppose i should blame my rusty literary skills since my days have been filled with nothing but physical training, but i wonder if that is really it. perhaps i've said everything i wanted to say that night, but somehow, i still feel like i've left us both hanging without a proper conclusion.

ah, that's right.

i haven't had the chance to tell you this, but today — the day i wrote this letter — would be my last day as a scholar. i will be drafted to the military tomorrow before dawn, and there's no guarantee that i will come back ̶a̶l̶i̶v̶e̶. there is so much tension in the nation nowadays and it feels as if we might go to war any day now. i don't know. maybe it's just my parents' paranoia rubbing off of me. in any case, they told me that a soldier should always prepare himself to die in the battlefield. is it strange that the thought of death does not faze me anymore?

that doesn't sound like me, does it? truth be told, i haven't been feeling like myself for the past few years now. no, actually — i feel like i have been lying to you. i feel empty, yeonah. i don't know where my past self has gone. it's as if that part of me had died a long, long time ago — and that i was masquerading as him whenever i see you. i didn't want you to see the person i've become. i'm sorry. i didn't want you to worry about me. i didn't want us to change.

but the kiss we shared that night... the kiss we shared that night was not a lie. i felt the most vulnerable when our lips met for the first time — it was something i have never experienced before. perhaps it was just another kiss for you, but it meant the whole world to me. for the first time in forever, i felt alive. and it was all thanks to you that i did. i̶ ̶k̶n̶o̶w̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶d̶o̶n̶'̶t̶ ̶f̶e̶e̶l̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶s̶a̶m̶e̶ ̶w̶a̶y̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶i̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶.̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶i̶ ̶d̶o̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶r̶e̶g̶r̶e̶t̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶.̶

this might be my first and last letter, and i hope that it reaches you somehow. perhaps the sea currents will work in our favor — or perhaps i should not get my hopes up too high. it'll only end up in disappointment, won't it?

ayh.

•.*★ message in a bottle #2。 date.

trigger warning:

Text stuff goes here. Type as much as you want here, but be mindful of the rest of the layout and the overall look of the layout.

•.*★ message in a bottle #3。 date.

trigger warning:

Text stuff goes here. Type as much as you want here, but be mindful of the rest of the layout and the overall look of the layout.