@choi yeonjun. Yeosang felt the bite of Yeonjun's words, punching straight to his heart, wounding him more than any blade or poison ever could. He'd made it so clear early on that things would never be easy for the two of them. He knew his place in the world and it wasn't one of freedom and enjoyment like many people thought about the royal family. The prince must have enjoyed a freedom that the poorer folk couldn't understand, but they never knew the walls that existed around him and the boundaries that he was forced to live between. They could never know that he would never find the simple joys of love like many of them would. He accepted that people would never understand. He'd always hoped that Yeonjun would be the one to stand there by his side while he was forced to suffer that reality. The only constant love he could safely hold in his hands. But he'd been a fool to think it would last forever.
He'd never hidden that one day he would wed, that one day he would have to fulfil his duty to his country and his people and that everything would be chosen by his father, with maybe minimal input from his mother. His life was only as useful as his worth to another country. His love and future would be sworn to someone out of convenience or benefit, not out of love. Never in his life had he wished he could change that more than right now. His gaze turned back to the kitchen hands still working, making sure their attention was not on him, though he was sure their ears were focused on the two boys in the corner. Turning back to Yeonjun he tried to ignore his own pain. His own shock. The only thing that mattered to him at that moment was his boyfriend if he could still call him that when this was all over.
"You know me better than that" He started, voice still low so that it was only between the two of them. He would have preferred to walk away from the entire event, but both of them had roles to play; they would both need to survive the evening so that they could talk more freely in his room. "First, for why I did that... How could I not Jun? I might seem oblivious out there, but I am not. I saw how it affected you, and I knew well that you needed to escape as much as I." He paused a moment, hoping that the words would sink in beyond the shock and anger Yeonjun was feeling. They just needed to survive the night, and Yeosang would explain everything more clearly and comfort the only person who mattered to him in the world to the best of his ability, even at the cost of his own comfort. He would never let the other know just how much this news was affecting him as well. He wouldn't burden his boyfriend with his own emotions when he couldn't face his own.
"I would have told you had I known. You know that. We have talked about this many times before. Do you think so little of me that I would not keep my word? I promised I would tell you as soon as I knew, and that is the same moment you heard it" He continued after a beat, fighting to keep his own emotions from the words and he realised just how real this was now. He'd always known it was coming, but now that it was decided, and he had a name, he realised just how unprepared he had been for this to come about. "All I was told about tonight was that it was a banquet for our visitors. I thought it strange given they are just diplomats and as far as I knew there had been no chance. I expected the announcement of a trade deal, not that my life would be over. I never would have let you find out like this if I had been privy to even a spec of knowledge about my own future. Please Yeonjun, I know as much as you, but I will find out everything tonight, and later, in the comfort of my arms I will answer all your questions, all your fears, and calm the shock that you must be feeling. You know how I feel about you, do not let my father drive a wedge between us now. You're all I have."
@kang yeosang. as embarrassed as he felt, yeonjun's heart shattering right in his chest affected him more. the servant bit back sobs that threatened to escape as he scrubbed and wiped at the stains on the floor in front of him. had yeosang been leading him on all of this time? knowing the prince more than well enough, yeonjun didn't wholly believe that...but then again, what /could/ he believe at this point? the one, solid thing in his life was about to be taken away from him.
'stupid', that's all he could think. he'd been stupid to believe that someone like the prince would be able to love him and fully give his heart to a servant. nobles from all over the world had been trying to win yeosang's hand, and now, it seemed like one finally managed to do so. one suitor had impressed the king enough to marry his son.
so engrossed in cleaning and his negative thoughts, yeonjun didn't even register that yeosang had made his way over and knelt beside him until he could feel the other's warmth against his skin. he lifted his eyes and met yeosang's gaze, instantly seeing the concern present there. the servant didn't think he could be any more shocked, but seeing his boyfriend so close despite the announcement that just took place shook him even further. what the hell was yeosang doing?
almost robotically, yeonjun allowed the prince to help him to his feet and lead him away toward the kitchen. once inside and away from mostly everyone else, yeonjun leaned against the wall and took in a slow breath. "wh-...why did you do that?" he whispered. "i'm not injured or anything, no. at least, not physically." a bitter laugh then escaped him. "is that what this is? are you trying to taunt me even further after breaking my heart?"
his eyes finally narrowed on the prince. "when were you planning on telling me about your engagement, sang? or were you hoping i found out on my own? i assume i'm going to be working the event. is that when you were going to come clean...? at your own damn wedding when the marriage was irreversible?" yeonjun hissed, words like utter venom. he'd never been this angry before; not even when his parents sold him into servant-dom because they were offered a large sum of money in exchange for their hardworking son.
no, nothing could compare to the fury he was expressing right now. and to him, his anger was very much justified.
@choi yeonjun. Staying stoic through the speech was easy. Yeosang had spent most of his life learning how to school his expressions into whatever they needed to be in a moment. Showing anything that wasn't necessary was dangerous and could give his enemies a way to attack him. He couldn't show surprise or sadness and was never permitted to cry. The strict schooling he'd received had made him almost detached when he was around anyone else, especially the nobles who now cheered for the happy news. Yeosang knew he was supposed to be happy, and he could feel that soft smile plastered on his face as he made sure to show that he was grateful for his chance to help their kingdom in whatever way they wanted him to. Inside, he was screaming. He knew it would come one day, but for his father to blindside him so aggressively caused a dull ache to form in his chest, realising that he was never going to be more than a chess piece until he took over.
It was easy to act detached from everything when he wasn't focused on anything around him at all. The hall was just a mass of faceless people cheering for him. He knew whispers would start eventually, people would look to see them together, and he would have to play his part. But for now, he could just smile and pretend that he was somewhere else—away from all the eyes on him, with the only person he trusted to see his real self. He could focus on their soft, whispered words in hidden corridors and fleeting touches that never stayed for too long due to the fear of being caught. He could imagine the few times they managed to meet eyes at these events and share secret messages through them.
The clanging of the tray on the ground and the shattering of glass pulled him back to reality as his eyes scanned the room for the source. The very person Yeosang had just been thinking of stood there in obvious shock. The urge to move and help him was growing steadily as many of the nobles attempted to move away, all looking at the server as if he were a stain on their existence. He heard the whispers start up, not loud enough to be clear in his ears, but enough that it was obvious they were looking down on Yeonjun. Yeosang wasn't going to stand for it. He rarely acted out and rarely said a word out of place, but most people knew that he cared for everyone in his kingdom, from nobles to servants. They all deserved respect for what they did.
Knowing he needed to be careful, Yeosang stood and quickly moved across the room, using all of his lessons to keep his back straight and exude whatever he could of the aura of a leader. He fought the urge to run to the side of the other, crash onto his knees and make sure he was ok. He needed to be more cautious, more calculating than that. So he walked quickly but with purpose. He knelt carefully beside Yeonjun, making sure to avoid pressing his knee into the liquid from the spilt drinks; the last thing he needed was the smell of alcohol all night. He placed a gentle hand on Yeonjun's shoulder, careful to make it look like a leader checking on a subordinate, not a boy hopelessly worried about the person he loved. He did a quick scan over the other to make sure there were no obvious injuries before looking up to motion to two other servants to come and clean before turning to Yeonjun once more.
"Come, let's go to the kitchens" He kept his voice low and quiet, a private word between the two of them, before looking up again, letting his voice carry through the room with whatever level of authority that he could, hands moving to help Yeonjun to his feet. "I shall return in a moment. Please continue to enjoy your evening, and I look forward to accepting your congratulations once I have seen our staff. Please understand and avoid this area while it is cleaned" Yeosang had never been more thankful for his teachings than he was at that moment, offering his smiles to those around them as they began to clear away, and Yeosang could fully help Yeonjun to his feet, quickly guiding him back out of the room towards the kitchens, away from the prying eyes and harsh whispers of the nobles.
Once he was sure the door was shut, and he'd motioned to the chefs to continue their work, he'd tucked the other away in a corner, staying close but being cautious of the staff still in the room. They'd need to be careful still, but there was an illusion of privacy in their corner. "Junnie?" He questioned cautiously, still looking over the other to make sure he was ok. "What happened? Are you unwell? Injured? Did you get cut? Please tell me you're ok... please" He knew his whispers were desperate, coming a little too hastily as his eyes continued to dart over the other boy. This was the affect of Yeonjun, he brought down all of Yeosang's walls and removed his schooled expression, letting him feel everything when they were together.
@kang yeosang. 'how embarrassing,' yeonjun thought to himself, internally cringing at how strange it looked to have been caught blatantly staring at the prince by guests at the party. he'd seen the prince thousands of times...how could he have been so stupid and careless?
for the lovestruck royals and nobles, it wouldn't be a huge deal to watch any of the royal family or even gossip about them, but servants could face humiliation and public execution when placed in the same position. the hypocrisy, to put it plainly, was overly cruel. it's not like the servants became such a profession by choice. but, alas, yeonjun had no say in the matter, and he couldn't see things changing any time soon.
unfortunately, as much as he wanted to, yeonjun knew he couldn't hide in the kitchen forever. sighing quietly, he filled his tray back up with an assortment of drinks and alcohol and even tossed on a few desserts as well.
once out of the safety of the kitchen and back into the loud banquet hall, yeonjun bustled in between rows and rows of elegantly decorated round tables, continuing his duties of making sure the guests didn't go thirsty. he was fairly certain his face still burned a crimson red, but if anyone happened to notice it, they kept silent.
the king's words pretty much went in one ear and out the other for yeonjun. all of the man's speeches were like this. didn't nobles grow tired of hearing the same bull over and over again? didn't they realize that the king could care less about whether they all were here or not? he sugarcoated everything that came out of his mouth.
yeonjun continued to ignore king minho, letting the man's voice basically blur into the background...until the very last words spoken made him freeze on the spot.
engaged.
prince yeosang was /engaged/. why hadn't his boyfriend mentioned this?
the servant hadn't even realized his grip started to slip until the clattering of his tray caused the rest of the large room to fall eerily silent. glasses broke, cakes splattered, and liquid seeped all over the marble flooring.
every single eye was on him now as whispers spread through the crowd like wildfire.
after swallowing the lump in his throat, yeonjun bent down and slowly began to clean up the mess he'd created.
@choi yeonjun. Yeosang hated these formal events, he always had. He was far from anti-social, but there was something about a room of stuck-up nobles kissing and talking down to the help that really rubbed him the wrong way. His father wasn't a bad man, they did the best they could to treat staff with respect, but at these events he played the cold, indifferent thing many of the nobles thought he was. It was a safety thing. If he was tough and intimidating it scared many into not wanting to fight with him for fear of the response. Another reason he hated these parties. Then there was his mother, a genius of a woman who allowed her true form to come out more at these events. Behind closed doors she played the gentle soft wife of the king, but these event she was calculating and attentive. She knew how to read people, and the room, and always had her families safety in mind. This was one reason to love the parties,
Before the doors were open, just like every time before, Yeosang watch his parents put their masks in place and signal they were ready. They never asked if he was ready, he never was. As the doors swing open and all eyes turned to them there was a moment where not even a breath echoed through the space. The first footstep of his father echoed in his head, but it was enough to pull Yeosang away from the scheming gazes and focus on simply following behind his family. He could hear the whispers and movement start up around him once more, he couldn't understand the words but the sound was there. Everyone was Watching, waiting for something that they could discuss. They all made it safely to their seats and things went back to normal.
Yeosang watched everyone mingle from his seat, giving little waves to the few friends he had and the few women who dared to be so brazen. There were some people around that Yeosang barely knew. He'd seen them before, well some of them, but they mostly only interacted with his father, He'd barely finished scanning the room when his father stood once more drawing all eyes towards them and silencing the hall once more. Yeosang rarely listened to his fathers addresses so once again he began to scan the crowd now looking for the staff on duty and whether he was going to be able to get himself a few treats that he normally wouldn't be allowed to eat.
"Thank you all for coming all the way here once more, and I hope you're enjoying your time." Even not actively listening, the kings voice bounced around inside Yeosang's mind the same way it did around the hall around them. "Tonight is a very special night, but before that I wish to once again welcome the ambassadors to the kingdom to our West and encourage everyone to make them welcome." A short pause, a few whispers, an awkward clap from someone who had already tasted to much wine. It was all a well choreographed dance, and everyone knew their part. "It is with great pleasure tthat I can finally announce the reason for such a grand event on such a seemingly insignificant day. Please join me in celebrating my son, Prince Yeosang, on his engagement to Princess Yena" Even not paying attention those words struck Yeosang like a mace to the chest. Outwardly his body acted as it was trained to do. He smiled just a little never showing the shock. Internally Yeosang was sure he had stopped breathing, sure his heart had both ceased and sped up, and his stomach was doing uncomfortable contortionist routines inside him. Since when was he engaged.
@kang yeosang. these events always stressed yeonjun out. just when it seemed like he'd earned a break, the guests would once more be hounding him, and his other fellow servants, for more wine and champagne. he couldn't even begin to count how many bottles they'd gone through already. not to mention, the aroma of the fruity alcohol caused his stomach to churn long ago.
once a guest took the last glass from his tray, yeonjun started to make his way back to the kitchen, but the room's sudden silence caused him to pause and spin around on his heels. that silence, however, lasted only for a mere second, because as soon as the royal family entered through the large double doors, the whispers immediately began.
there was no denying that each member of the family held such a beauty to them that it almost hurt. still, yeonjun could only focus on the prince. despite having seen him numerous times, he failed to stop staring until a tap on his shoulder and a rude "aren't you going to bring us something to drink?" brought him back to his senses.
embarrassed that he'd been caught, yeonjun dashed back off toward the kitchen and slipped inside to refill his tray, but not without one last glance in the prince's direction.
