101 (IU)

wheezes. My apartment is dusty

@Shon Minho [] I thought we're doing it in walls?

@Shon Minho Sure.. I'll go change quickly then we'll head over to your house.
/I knew it, I know perfectly how you're going to respond to my question, the odd question that came straight out from my mouth. There's no hint of rejection in it, nor acception in it but I certainly know that it means yes. Your face says it all. Heading straight up to change my clothes into a simpler ones, I grab my bag before heading down to meet you/
Black's for stopping, red's for slowing down. But I seriously doubt I'll be using those words.
/stares at you with my dark brown orbs before it crescents slightly as I smile softly, mainly it's because of you agreeing to help me./
Lets go..?

@Shon Minho /my eyes soften once you agreed on doing what I asked, a part of me cheered in victory cuz I finally going to get what I wanted but another part of me somehow felt misery because you're afraid that I'm going to fall for you, fall for your gentleness and this is yet another truth that I doesn't want to know/
I will try... we're going to do it here or at your house..?
/I said my eyes locking with yours lips somehow looking tempting to be kissed, soon my eyes averted its gaze to your adam's apple, bobbing up and down as you speak. There's this question keep on playing in my mind and I wanted to ask you but I'm afraid of the response that you're going to give me afterwards/
If I'm able to move on but fated to fall for you would you reject me as well?

@Shon Minho /my eyes widen a bit at the sight of you hovering above me, it's weird though. Being in this position allows me to take in every single inch of your features; from you face down to your collarbone. Did I missed that before? Probably I was too busy chasing my own pleasure that I simply missed the beautiful features of yours/
If.. if you're being gentle with me, I'm afraid that I will have some feelings with you, feelings that I shouldn't have and I don't want to be broken down by that feelings again. If you're being so nice with me I can't help but falling head over heels to you...
That's why... I asked for only pain.. stop being so nice to me Minho.. stop giving me hopes.
/I look at you with my eyes filled with tears again, truth is I'm scared that if you're being gentle and nice with me I will end up liking you..only to have my hopes crushed afterwards. Straddling your hips as I'm now hovering above you, I stare at your beautiful yet masculine feature with my eyes hoping that you could fulfil my wish. Hoping that you could do me pain/
Gentle sure can over power it...but it will bring out something else..

[post deleted by owner]

@Shon Minho /stays silent afterwards trying to calm myself down since I just had a breakdown again last night and I know I'm not in my proper state of mind right now. Honestly everything starts to hurt so bad that I feel like dying. And the fact that I'm asking you to help me makes me a loser, not less than that/
Anything that crossed your mind when we are doing it. I dont- I just need to feel pain, that's all. I need to feel pain all over my body. If you wanted to go rough we can go for it. If you wanted to beat the out of me we can go for it. If you doesnt want to make me bleed then we'll avoid that.
/turns my body full to look at you, somehow the pleading look of mine is obviously shown on my face, hoping that you could help me this time. I wouldnt really mind how far you wanted to go because of what I received before from you and your friends, it pretty much showed everything about me./
I trusted you that's why I asked you to help me. Please Minho... please..

@Shon Minho Well..I don't mind if you doesnt want to help.. tho you're the only one that I can think of right now to help me..
/says softly before taking another huge bite of my burger, reaching over to grab a can of cola and open the tab slowly so that the cola wont just explode and spurt out , who knows it might have been shaken on the way here. Once the bubbles has subside, I slowly take a sip enough to clear out the food in my mouth/
Then I might as well continue hurting myself if you doesnt want to help me. Because you're uncomfortable with it?
/finishes my burger with another huge bite before crumpling the wrapper in my fist and put it away as I lean against you, sipping on my cola before sighing softly as I already feel full yet there's a lot of food on the table/
I'm full..

@Shon Minho /once I saw you stopped eating for a while and that expressions written all over your face I knew you had trouble completing the request. Sighing softly, thinking that you can't help me with it I took another piece of chicken and slowly bite it, the crunch sounds of the chicken breaking the awkward silence as we both couldn't find the perfect words to say/
Be-Because.. I need..to get hurt. I wanted to feel the pain, so that I can go on with my life. But if you can't then it's okay .. I know it's weird anyway..
/shrugs slightly before taking the other hamburger, unwrapping it halfway before taking a huge bite in attempt to make my mouth full so that when you ask questions I would have more time to think before replying/

@Shon Minho Then maybe you can try to shoot me so that I can forgot my emotional pain.
/smiles softly at you as your fingers go through my soft locks, sitting up afterwards as you pushed me up before parting my lips slightly to eat the chicken and hold it in between my lips while chewing slightly. The smell of the chicken is enough to make my tummy rumbles and all of the sudden, I feel hungry. Too hungry like I haven't eat for few days. Looking at you eating the burger, I swallows the chewed chicken in my mouth before talking in a low voice/
After..after we eat, and after I'm okay later, I want you to use me Minho. I want you to hurt me, abuse me, makes my whole body bruised the next morning, for once and only. Please, can you do that?
/looks at you to study your expression after I've let out my request to you, hoping that you'd agreed to it since I desperately need one and only you can do it/

@Shon Minho Oh I was strong enough before..maybe not now /roll my eyes at you playfully, looking down at where your hand pressed against one side assuming that it was the wound you talking about and it makes me wonder why the hell someone shot you up but I keep the thought in my mind as I focuses on you with my brown orbs staring straight at you/
Obviously it's a lot more painful than a heartbreak. Being shot is physically painful but a heartbreak? Is emotionally painful. Shoot me if you can~ hey Min can I ask you a favor? It's not really a favor it's more like a request ..
/looking up at you as soon as I asked that to see what your reactions are. Somehow I love having a small pecks all over my face and today you've been giving me countless of kisses on my face which I totally loved it. Staring at the plastic bags that you placed on the table I couldn't help but laugh, placing my head playfully against your lap just to tease you/
How are you gonna force feed me hm?

@Shon Minho No, not helping me by shoving it down my throat. Eat with me. You can shove something else in my throat later
/still managed to let out some silly jokes as I could feel the surrounding starts to get a little bit gloomy, lifting my fingers to gently caress the crease of your forehead when you frowned. /
It's not like it's bad to be nice but I'm just surprised..that's all. But my body crave for more pain despite the consequences I will be facing later. You got shot? Really?
/my eyes widen a little after you said that you got shot before my eyebrows furrows a little bit, deciding not to ask you about it furthermore. But then my eyebrows slowly turns back to its normal state as you once again pressed your pink lips against my pale ones then peppering my face with your soft kisses, letting my head to lean against your shoulder in which I happily accepted/
You have no idea how much I need this type of comfort now..and thank God you're here...otherwise I think I'm going crazy..
/mutters softly yet loud enough for you to hear, thankful enough for you to show up at my house after a single distress call from me. And just then the doorbell rang twice, probably it's the deliveryman bringing the foods/

@Shon Minho Everything? It's not going to fit Min you have to help me.
/smiling softly at the way you combed my hair using your fingers, it shows me the other type of you that I haven't seen it before and I sure know I love this type of you. Looking at you when you closed your eyes I knew you were having a little flashbacks of the past playing right now and I just kept silent, not wanting to disturb you and just play with your fingers gently/
Maybe if I keep on getting pain I will become numb and I will be okay..
/looking up at you when you held my chin, I froze for a moment. Your gaze is piercing right through my soul and it makes my soul tremble slightly, soon shaken once your soft lips pressed firmly against mine, something that I wouldn't see it coming. It catches me off guard, it's been so long since I had someone's lips on mine in a loving manner/
Why are you so kind to me Min? Why are you so nice with me

@Shon Minho /my throat dried up I couldn't speak anything nor a simple hum. I feel like there's a huge lump in my dry throat that it hurts whenever I tried to speak so I just nod, signalling you to speak up the little story. I was ashamed of my figure before and also now, and seeing how you tried your best not to frown before makes me hate myself even more. I feel so weak and useless at this moment to the point that I shouldn't be born before. I wonder why love hurts so much/
That's a lot of food you ordered. Do you have some hungry monsters in your tummy Min?
/chuckling a little after you hung up the call, I immediately wrap both of my arms around your neck when you carried me gently in your arms- God I have never feel so protected in my whole life until now. And to heard that someone hurt you before make my lips turned upside down, frowning while looking at you with my glassy eyes/
You are so sweet and gently who dare to hurt you. I wanted myself to be okay too but I feel so weak to move on.. whenever I tried to stand up on my feet I always feel weak and useless..and I end uo falling again..

@Shon Minho Hey you smiled though~
/smiling a little as I saw the corner of your lips are pulled up into a small smile but my smile soon faded away as you removed the blanket off of me, I was concious that I'm getting skinnier than before as I lose some weight and I could see clearly the muscles on your face trying its best to hide the frown as the corner of your lips twitches slightly to hold the smile up. Looking at the way your muscular hands holding my skinny wrists that will surely snap if you would put in some force onto it, my eyes started to brim in tears. It would've been good to have someone to break me more, break beyond repair./
We don't really need the drugs to help us now, do we-
/chuckles slightly, feeling the warmth of your body enveloped around me as you tugged me gently into your firm yet gentle embrace. I feel safe, weirdly safe while inhaling the sweet body scent of yours. It's weirdly intoxicating, the smell makes my mind cloudy and hazy...with lust? Or the need to be broken by you. I'm not quite sure of what it is./
I guess.. you know the feeling of getting friendzoned by someone you like, still after being rejected. And feeling the gap created by him eventhough I tried to close the gap... I thought I would be fine but I'm actually not. I'm just pretending..for myself. And I'm being selfish..

@Shon Minho /after ending the call, I quickly stood up from my bed my muscles are screaming in pain from how long I've been on the bed sobbing and clutching against myself. Looking at myself in the mirror I kind of hate myself, I looked so miserable but I couldnt care less. No one's going to accept me when I'm still a decent looking girl why would they now when I'm miserable as hell. Upon hearing the doorbell rang twice, I knew immediately that it's you. Running slightly towards the door with blanket draped over me, i opened the door widely to see you only in sleeveless shirt and a shorts, revealing some of your muscles that I swear it wasnt there before/
Hey minho...come in. It's been a while since that night right?
/still managed to let out a smile I tug on your hand gently pulling you into my apartment as I know well how hot the weather outside is. Gently ushering you towards the couch I couldn't help but to take a look at your toned biceps, assuming you've worked out recently to gain such a beauty there/
Do you want something to drink? Dont worry I won't put in the drugs in there

@Joohyuk Oh wait I dont know your fav?
/looks at you and blinks/
But I do have soju and beer though..

@IU sure
-nods
you know my fav

@Joohyuk Well I hasnt got anyone coming so it's kinda weird though. Do you want anything?
/looks at you/

@IU nothig just stopping by,
-grins and lie down on the sofa
dont you miss me?

@Joohyuk It's okay but only if you stop jumping on the sofa?
/arches my brow as I close the door/
Anyway, what's up?

@IU -comes in and look around here
its okay for me to stop by anytime I want right?
-smirks and then freely jump on the sofa

@Joohyuk /opens the door/
Oh Joohyuk. Come on in

knock knock

@IU *smirks on what you said, continues to kiss your soft skin, gets addicted to it
Trust me, babe
I won't let anyone see this picture unless you change your mind
*caress your thigh, it's fun to have this intimate moment with you especially that I always dream to have this moment for awhile already

@Myungsoo/L /smiles cheekily when you tapped my before taking another one and eats it, then leans closer to you before kissing your lips, letting you taste its sweetness and all the juices/
/pull away before smiling cheekily/
Was it nice?
/lay down on my back as I snuggled against you/

@Myungsoo/L I learnt my lesson daddy
/chuckles a little and pust the strawberry inside your mouth/
I thought you were gonna use those foods against me. Too bad you didnt

@Myungsoo/L /i fell down , completely exhausted after you came inside my , flowing out from my hole and drips onto the bed sheets/
Gosh..that was so ing awesome.
/I look at the untouched strawberries before popping one into my mouth, putting another one against your lips/

@Youngjae /I moans softly when you grind against me harder, I could feel the wetness on my before moving down and kneel in between your legs, tugging your belt off, as well as your zipper/
/gently caress your bulge before taking it out of its comfort zone, your sprung out with its red head screaming for release/
you're huge

@Hakyeon/N /shivers a bit when you kissed my neck/
Just dont..dont get it exposed
It will ruin my entire career if you do
/says it softly as I close my eyes as fatigue took turns in my body, feeling devastated and thinking I'm really done now. You've completely won me over and there's nothing I can do besides giving you whatever you want/