@⚘ : charlie k 。 for the first time in a while, levi had had a peaceful sleep while it was raining. instead, his nightmares were replaced by memories of the past. memories — bits of images of a childhood innocence that he should have left behind years ago. there stood a boy — the younger him — with his back facing another boy, whose features were so unique that other humans failed to see how beautiful he truly was. but levi had sworn to protect that beauty, that fragile heart that lied inside the other's chest. he remembered the melody that would often accompany these memories. he remembered the warmth of a mother's embrace. his heart yearned for the more peaceful days, when all he worried about was the safety of his closest friend in the orphanage. but of course, even he wasn't too delusional to wish to go back to a place that had been burned down by the fates already. but still — it wouldn't hurt to reminisce, to be filled with hope no matter how uncertain it was.
right?
when he opened his eyes, he wasn't surprised to see that he was in an unfamiliar house, and had even less of a reason to be surprised when he found the note that kyran had left. even his own home felt like a stranger, when he knew that he wouldn't stay in it for too long. he supposed being this unsurprised wasn't really what one would consider a good thing, but if he were to be honest, getting used to something was far more terrifying than having no home to come back to. getting used to something meant that he would want to stay, and he'd already done a good job of not having any sort of connetions linger. but... kyran... the song from last night — a song that only he and two others would have known, the latter two presumably dead.
but what if...? what if cherry wasn't actually dead?
he pursed his lips, and he pushed himself up from the couch, running a hand through his hair before letting his face rest against his palm. then what was he supposed to do with that knowledge? that was a life he'd left behind the day he chose to accept his adopted parents' hands. he might have been younger then, but he had considered that chapter of his life down, because coming back there would have meant endangering them, especially with his parents' line of job. of course, he didn't want to break his promise, but that was the only thing he could have done in order for the enemies not to reach the orphanage as a way of weakening the choi's down.
so what he was supposed to do with that possibility?
he exhaled softly, before he leaned back onto the couch, turning to his side — and that was when he'd seen the oddly old-school designed music box by the coffee table. his guts were telling him not to look if he wanted to protect himself, but his curiosity was his fatal flaw, he supposed, because he still reached out anyway and he opened it, knowing full well that he might be pissing kyran off with this, but he needed to know.
the familiar melody filled the empty atmosphere, and levi could feel his eyes turning glassy. and there, by the cover, laid words that confirmed his suspicions:
"to my dearest son, charlie, from lavinia."
he closed it, inhaling a deep breath. he stared at the music box for a few silent moments, and then he looked up, blinking back the tears that were beginning to form. this was bad, he thought to himself, before he grabbed the pen that he assumed kyran had used earlier, writing the words, "thanks for everything! see ya! - levi," before he placed it where the bartender could easily see it. he hesitated, wondering if he was giving too much hope of meeting kyran again when he didn't know if he was going to come back at all.
but nevertheless, he let the message stay as it was, before he finally left the place, heart heavy with confusion.
@⚘ : levi c 。 eyes grown wide at the sudden gesture, charlie could only stare at levi 一 his smile, why is his smile so familiar all of the sudden? even more with his words that followed by, is this the past suddenly haunting him? it felt like a history repeat because the words that fell off levi's lips were the words said by robin whenever he sees him cry. is this why he felt so at ease being around levi? that it was possible for him to be his long lost childhood friend? no, it couldn't be... it's just too good to be true, too good to be a reality 一 mayhaps this is a dream, yeah 一 it's charlie who was dreaming right at this moment but as the tears fell off his eyes, he deemed it was real, that this is reality and it wasn't just a fantasy created by his mind.
he looked down on levi's hand that was on his lap, tears flowing down his cheeks. when was the last time he cried? he couldn't remember, it's been such a long time. after a deep exhale, he placed levi's hand onto the couch before standing up and putting the chair back to where he took it in the first place. he turned and saw his reflection by the mirror, tears tainted his facial features and he hates it. wiping them away his the use of his hands, charlie walked towards his bed and lets his body fall onto the mattress. eyes glued to the ceiling above then he turns his head to the side to look at ro一 no, levi's sleeping figure by the couch and he just knew that it'll be him that'll have problems in sleeping this time.
hours passing by, charlie stayed awake until the sun peeks out through his window. after that happening, he couldn't get himself to sleep, not with all this thoughts that were inside his mind, the thoughts that screams at him, the thoughts that levi was robin and he couldn't shake it off. but what if he's actually robin? what should he do? what should he feel? he doesn't know and he doesn't wat to answer any of them.
since sleeping was futile, he decided to just cook breakfast for both of them 一 not sure on what levi would even like, he'll just have to go for the basics then. he got up and out from bed then heads over to the kitchen, once he opened his fridge and that's when it struck him that he had no food left with how empty (almost) it was. right, he forgot he was going to buy himself some grocery on this day but he forgot about it since levi kind of... distracted him in a way. he sighed and went back to the living room merged bedroom, he didn't want to wake levi up especially when he was finally sleeping peacefully, he'll just have to let him be, he guesses 一 he'll just have to go out without telling the other, maybe... he can just leave a note for him to read, charlie did kinda trusted levi enough that he can leave him alone in his apartment while he goes out to buy groceries. the supermarket wasn't even far and he wasn't even going to buy a lot of items, just enough to last him the whole week.
he didn't even bothered taking a shower before he goes, just took a jacket from his wardrobe and he was good to go, his wallet already in the pocket of his jacket. charlie sat down on the bed and pulls out a notepad and pen from the drawer of his nightstand, he wrote:
"i went out for a bit, but i'll be coming back as soon as i can. 一 kyran"
that's enough, he supposes before he stood up and took the keys from the table, opening the door then closing it 一 locked from the inside.
the thoughts he had earlier were still lurking in his mind.
@⚘ : charlie k 。 the older man's words had levi chuckling softly. "i promise i won't laugh," he said. no matter what he might say, levi appreciated this, was grateful for kyran's efforts. kyran absolutely had no reasons to do this for him. it was already enough that kyran had given levi a place to stay while the rain passed by, that he hadn't asked when levi was suddenly acting like this, but levi's heart ached at the thought of someone actually caring for him. it had been a while, he supposed. it had been a while since he had last allowed someone else to accompany him during weak moments like this, despite the fact that he didn't quite have the choice since he was in someone else's house. he didn't want to admit that he had missed human company so much that he was willing to accept this, just this once.
but what would happen after this? how much more could levi allow kyran to stay without he himself backing away? like always, like how he'd decided to spend his life? company meant people he could possibly hurt with his actions. company meant people that he could actually leave behind once the need arose. company meant a lot of things that he hadn't carried with him for so long, that the very thought of it felt terrifying and liberating at the same time. but he didn't say anything — didn't want to seem as though he was rejecting the bartender's offer.
yet when the first lyrics fell from the older's lips, levi's eyes widened slightly in realization and shock. it was a familiar tune — the only song that levi had memorized and even bothered to remember. it was a song that held far too many memories, far too much of an identity that he'd left behind. back when he was still a boy of another name, there was a woman who had shown him that he didn't need to have a biological parent to be loved by a mother; she, who had shown him that family didn't mean blood. though those weren't something he had at present time, they were what had molded him to become what he was right then, albeit a thief, an enemy of the government, he supposed.
along with that woman was a child that he'd treasured as much as the woman. cherry, levi had called him, despite perfectly remembering what the other's name was. cherry was a nickname, one that only levi was allowed to call. cherry, the boy whom levi had vowed on protecting, but he—he himself had broken that vow the day he let himself get adopted. he would have reasoned that he couldn't have helped it — all the orphans wanted to become adopted, and he was one of those, he would say. but there were things he could have done: he could have come back, not when it was too far into the future that he had nowhere to come back to.
ah. this was why levi didn't sing this song as often as he should have. he was starting to miss a past he'd left behind, a chapter of his life that he would never be able to come back to.
but how did kyran knew of this song? this lullaby was something that was only sung to him and another child—cherry, whom he'd assumed was dead already. but... levi recalled kyran's mismatched eyes, the pair that was far too similar to cherry for him to even try and ignore, and now this song. he blinked, trying to fight the sleepiness away but he couldn't. the warmth, the longing he felt — all of the emotions he felt right then made him comfortable enough to try and fall asleep into the couch. his lips parting, his voice was almost inaudible as he sang along with the last lines of the song.
"somebody please show this child what love is.
take those tiny hands and leave a kiss."
there was a smile on his face as he watched the older, and he — for reasons that he would worry about later on, ones that he would blame on the sleepiness that washed over him, paired with the exhaustion that had already worn his body down from earlier — reached out to touch cherry's cheek, rubbing his thumb against the other's freckled skin. "don't cry... idiot..." he murmured, his eyes closing and his hand falling down to the other's lap, "tears... don't suit you..."
@⚘ : levi c 。 hesitation tries to make him back out from it, what was he doing? why is he doing this? how is he so sure that it'll work? it was messing up with his mind and he couldn't focus 一 he pushed them right off. "yeah, so don't try to interrupt me nor laugh at me." he threatened with no real bite in his tone, he took a deep breathe as he closed his eyes. he figured that it'll better if he had them closed, he wasn't even sure where he should be looking at if he were to let them stay opened. charlie tries to remember the rhythm and melody of the song, he hadn't sang it for a while now since his insomniac nights haven't occurred for a few months now. he relied on the tune of the music box in his head, the actual one was by his nightstand near his bed. it was a gift from lavinia before she passed away, her first and last gift to him that he cherished a lot 一 he remembers her exact words while being by the hospital bed.
「since i'll be gone, no one's going to sing to you anymore. so take this, a gift from me 一 it has the same melody of the song i've always sang to you and robin, i hope it'll help you out as much as i did.」
and it did, it helped him through 一 though he'll be lying if he said that it doesn't bring melancholic memories whenever he turned and plays the music box, memories he wanted to bury yet it's still there and charlie just learned to accept them that they're a part of him now, he should think of them in a positive manner than in a negative one, cherish them instead of rejecting them.
once he finally got the tune he opens his mouth and the first lines tumbles down from his lips, "falling fast asleep, may this little boy find blissful dreams." a boy shows up into his vision, a boy that he recognized that it was him as a child 一 body thin and frail, eyes sunken and eye color doesn't match, his hair naturally white that made him look like an elderly and his face littered with freckles. he looked a little awful, it's not because of his own abnormalities in the physical aspect but it's because of how sickly he looked. "among the ash and the flames that lights up the night sky. one by one... falling softly." the melody drops and rises up once again with the following lines, "with your silhouette casting shadows of your lovely face, i watch the sky as a million dreams are shining." another boy came into vision, this boy was next to the kid version of him. black hair and eyes filled with hope, his smile that seems like it can light up the whole world 一 this is robin.
"little dreams... little dreamers," a scene unfolds before him, a group of kids circling his kid self, calling him names like 'monster', 'demon' and 'white rat' as the boy just cried with his knees hugged against his chest. "within the tender night your silver eyes were trembling, that moment you shined pure born anew into this world." robin in his visions interrupted, saying thing for the other kids to back off and it worked, they all went away then afterwards, he comforted the crying boy, showering him with praises and compliments to make him feel better. "across a million years, time has brought us here." the next picture was when it was robin's last day in the orphanage, little charlie was crying, not wanting the other boy to leave him but robin, oh robin 一 he made little charlie open up his hand as he dropped what seems like a necklace on his palm and that's when the promise began. "our prayers burn into earth back where they shall return to time." he paused for a bit catching his breathe before continuing, "i will never stop this prayer leaving my lips," years had passed and robin never came back to him, the promise was broken and charlie felt a bit betrayed in those moments. where was he when he needed him the most? "someone please show this child what love is, take those tiny hands and leave a kiss." he misses robin.
charlie opened his eyes once again, gaze turning to levi. he wasn't aware that his eyes were now glassy due to the tears that started to well-up and the feeling of his chest being heavier than usual is there.
@⚘ : charlie k 。 "you know, whenever the times of falling asleep became one of the difficult task in my life, i just sing a song that someone sang to me as a child."
levi blinked at the suddenness of the words — or perhaps, it wasn't sudden. it was seemed like something that kyran wouldn't do, though he supposed that he just didn't know enough about the other lad. what could he know, anyway? they were mere acquaintances, and levi only happened to stumble upon him when he was in need of help. he pursed his lips lightly. that was a familiar statement, nonetheless. there were only only people that had sung him to sleep when he was younger. the first was the woman that took care of him when he stayed at the orphanage, a kind lady whose heart was far bigger than her petite body. the second — and the last — was his adoptive mother, who would lovingly kiss away the tears that would drop from the corner of his eyes whenever nightmares appeared, and she would sing a lullaby that levi had been humming far too much. it had been years since he'd last heard their voices, and he knew that he wouldn't, ever again.
he forced out a laugh, though it sounded bitter and sad more than anything. "lullabies, huh?" he repeated, and he blinked back the tears that were still by his eyes. 'why would i sing a song that brought back painful memories?' were the words that lingered at the tip of his tongue, but he made sure not to say it. it wasn't fair for levi to take out his frustrations on someone who wasn't involved in his life, on someone who knew nothing about what had happened for him to turn out the way he did.
"i'm a bad singer, so i never even bothered singing myself to sleep," was what he settled for instead, and he tried not to let the smile drop from his face. he didn't know why he was still trying, but he didn't want to seem more vulnerable than he already was in front of the other lad.
"you aren't, you never were."
the young thief stiffened at that phrase. he didn't know why, but that one simple sentence took a large part of the heaviness he felt out of his chest, and he had to bite his lower lip to keep his tears from falling completely. no, he didn't want to seem so much of a crybaby in front of the older man's eyes. he quietly watched as the other stood, before blinking in surprise. he was quick to understand what the other wanted to do, and he let out a laugh — this time, more genuine and light, and he looked at the other, rather amused, and he let his body fall to his side, his cheek hitting the pillow softly. "are you going to sing me a lullaby?" he asked, in a more joking tone. he wasn't a child — he didn't need any lullabies, but... he supposed... it was worth a try, if it could help him sleep, if that was what kyran had wanted to do.
@⚘ : levi c 。 "but i don't really... sleep well enough to experience that—the only times i get actual rest are when i've exhausted myself to the point of passing out."
hearing that out from levi himself made charlie... feel bad 一 not pity but rather sympathy. he did had his own days of no rest and no sleep, but it isn't so frequent enough that it happens on a daily, no, it only happens once in a while so over all, he usually get enough rest and sleep on his part. "i would say get more sleep especially with that kind of job that you have but that's just easy said than done, isn't it?" he lets his head fall onto the backrest of the couch, eyes glued onto the ceiling above him, eyes fluttering shut. "you know, whenever the times of falling asleep became one of the difficult task in my life, i just sing a song that someone sang to me as a child." he'll be lying if he said he doesn't know why he was giving these information out to levi because deep down, he was already starting to trust the other despite the fact that betrayal was still possible between the two of them 一 one way or another, but at this moment, charlie seems to not care about it. since levi is in his vulnerable state, he wanted to be by the same level as him 一 for the thief to not feel left out of this, that he wasn't alone.
"it helped me a lot," he said as memories flash before his mind. the image of lavinia comes to view, she was sitting on the white grand piano that the orphanage had 一 she sang a song with a melody that rings within charlie's ears, that's the first time she ever sang it to him and to another boy that charlie was always been with, the one who always protected him from the bullies, the one that told him to stay strong and the one who left then broke a promise. charlie had to open his eyes again in a hurry, he didn't want the memories to flow in 一 not right now when he has a guest, not right now when he deemed himself as okay. "i... i don't want to bother you so much," with a turn of his head, he looked at levi after he told him that. to be honest, was levi a bother to him? as far as he was concerned, he never did felt any form of irritation towards the younger lad, not even once and he's pretty surprised with that because usually, he couldn't tolerate the annoying and talkative ones yet levi... levi, the prince of thieves 一 ciaran the second and robin hood, he's different. "you aren't, you never were." that's the truth.
charlie looked at the clock once more, 3:51AM, time flew by too quickly. sleep? he wasn't sure if he wanted to go back to sleep, not with levi being like this. "you need more sleep than i do," he pointed out, he could sleep more if he wanted 一 his schedule for work allows him to. but back to the topic, what can he do to help levi? an idea striked him bybthe time he mentioned it, but he just didn't know if it would work. that method doesn't work on just anyone, usually it would work for kids, but for adults? it's rare. with a push from the couch, he stood up and looked back at the thief, "lay back down, i don't know if it'll work on you but... it's just a try, and don't laugh if ever." he walked to where the a desk was, taking the chair along with him. carrying it and settling it near the couch before sitting on it. embarrassment lurks within him but he swallowed it down 一 it's for levi, he thought.
you see, charlie never really sang in front of anyone before though his boss caught him once when he was absent-mindedly singing a catchy song by the bar but this is different when he was willing to deliver.
@⚘ : charlie k 。 honestly, levi was rather surprised when kyran sat by his side, so much that he might have flinched the slightest. he hoped that the older man didn't notice, however. see, the thing about levo was that he wasn't used to companionship, nor having long term relationships anymore. he might have had the semblance of camaraderie back when night raid still existed, but the life he led forced him to become a phantom — one that would forever remain alone, existing but never truly there. it was better this way, for his own sake and the others' as well. they didn't need someone temporary like he was bothering their lives, but as he began to familiarize himself with the bartender's warmth by his side, levi found himself missing it.
his heart was suddenly filled with a wave of yearning for something he knew he shouldn't reach out for, but for tonight, he supposed... that was okay. this was alright — this was only one night, and it wouldn't happen again. he would make sure of it. so he eased up, leaned against the couch with an even more relaxed form, though the smile on his face was more melancholic than forced right then. "the mind does, yeah," he uttered in agreement. "but i don't really... sleep well enough to experience that—the only times i get actual rest are when i've exhausted myself to the point of passing out." that was more of the truth than he had intended, and he bit his lower lip. his eyes were still quite heavy, and the exhaustion he'd just spoken of took a heavy toll on his body. after all, he'd just finished a heist, but this rain wasn't letting him get what he wanted so easily. he blinked repeatedly, as if to get the sleepiness away from him, but he couldn't help the yawn that escaped his lips.
that didn't mean he was going to sleep, however. he had coffee to aid him the next day. he only prayed that was enough.
"i... i don't want to bother you so much," he said, and he turned his head to face the other. "you should... just try going back to sleep, yeah? i'll... try going back to sleep too."
@⚘ : levi c 。 with poorly masked worry, charlie can't do anything but watch as tears fell off from levi's eyes. he couldn't just reach and wipe them off with his thumb, no, it felt unnecessary and he wasn't so sure if the other would allow nor will he comfortable with such gesture. "it's okay, i'm okay." those were the words that left the younger's tiers, it's a lie, that's for sure but charlie doesn't have the right to point it out, who was he even in levi's life? a complete stranger turned acquaintance, isn't he? so, he had no right. a sigh tumbles along his lips, guess he has to go with levi's flow, huh? "okay," he briefly replied before he sat by the thief's side 一 head turned for his gaze to lock on the man beside him, he listened to him attentively and even nodding along to show that he's listening. "i see then," the rain, he understands 一 the melancholy melody that it gives out as it pours down from the heavens above would definitely have someone recall sad memories of the past, ones that they want it to be buried but somehow... it never fails to resurface no matter how hard you try to push it away from your thoughts, it'll always will be remembered.
he purses his lips for a moment after averting his gaze away from the other, his eyes now staring at the telivision right across them, staring at his own blurry reflection along with levi's. he doesn't know what to say nor what he should do, he's not one to pry any further if the other shows signs of refusal in exposure. his mind was louder than the thief's voice that he almost missed the question that's shot towards him, making him turn to him once again. "oh, uh... bathroom." he nodded to the direction of the said location he went to. "but sometimes, i wake up at the same hour just because i couldn't sleep. the mind likes to play with you all time, no?" that might just have been the first time charlie shared a personal information of his, one that's simple yet it reveals a lot about him. "do you want tea perhaps?" it was his turn to change the topic, "i'll just reheat it by the microwave, it wouldn't take long."
@⚘ : charlie k 。 levi forced himself up into a sitting position, letting his legs fold near his chest. he blinked repeatedly, trying to stop the tears from rolling down his cheeks, but they continued, albeit slower this time. he decided to cover his face instead with one hand, and took deep breaths to calm himself down once more. this was bad — he kept on showing sides of himself that kyran was never even supposed to see, sides that he hadn't let anyone else see, but here he was, about to break down in front of a man he'd known for... what, two months? it didn't feel like a long time, but wasn't that the longest time he'd stayed by someone's side recently? he bit his lower lip, before he lifted his gaze to meet the bartender's, and he forced yet again another smile. it was still unconvincing, and he knew that, but at the very least, he didn't want to be seen completely vulnerable. "it's okay, i'm—" he breathed shakily, eyes still glassy, "—i'm okay."
that felt more like a whisper to himself than to kyran.
when he met the older man's eyes, levi couldn't help but be more at ease. they felt familiar, so familiar that he thought he was truly experiencing a moment from the past. but he didn't know how likely he was to meet someone from his past, one that he was sure had gotten burnt down along "it's just... rain brings back bad memories," he answered quietly, hand still muffling his own words, and he leaned against the couch, running a hand through his hair. "you don't have to worry about it." he might have spoken those words a little too quickly, but he hoped that kyran wouldn't... pry too much. he gulped and ran his tongue over his lips, blinking, trying to see how he was going to change the subject. but his memories clouded his mind, and he bit his lip to try and not spill anything. "w-why... why are you still awake at this time of the day?"
@⚘ : levi c 。 a wave of a new emotion comes washing over him, he could recognize it as worry when levi wasn't waking up at the first attempt, soft whimpers coming out from his lips along with the names of his parents, mom and dad as the other male calls them 一 is he dreaming about them? but more importantly was about the dream itself, what is he dreaming about for him to be this responsive to it even in his sleep? what are the people in his dream doing for him to plead? charlie rocks the sleeping figure with little more forced provided, voice going higher in volume. a sigh of relief fell off from his tiers when the other finally woke up, his hands still on levi's shoulders and despite the darkness, the older male didn't missed out the tears that flown down his visage and a sense of panic within him was there 一 why is he crying? was the nightmare that bad? something in him broke a bit from the faux smile that was given to him. he finally lets go the younger's shoulders and stood up properly, gaze still on levi.
"no, i was already awake but 一 are you alright though?" he asked, his voice turning soft all of the sudden though one can't blame him after that incident. "you seem like you were having a nightmare, maybe you... i don't know, do you want to talk about it?" nightmares, they're very common, it's a part of human nature and charlie himself always had reoccuring ones though nowadays it became less frequent and he hopes it stays that way. "you don't have to if you don't want to," he added, he didn't want to force levi to tell him but this is his way of helping him 一 it's a way that lavinia had done to him when he kept having nightmares as a child as well when he temporarily lived with her after his release from the big house. he already knew what to do even though this is the first time that he was the one giving instead of receiving.
@⚘ : charlie k 。 the hands on levi's shoulders felt too much like the hands that had threatened to beat the life out of him when his cheek kissed the rough ground of the plaza, and he fought to struggle against it—the fear overwhelmed his heart, swept through his lungs, preventing him to breathe easily. whimpers of 'no' and 'please stop' and calls of his parents' names fell from his lips, and when he couldn't breathe—when the hands on his shoulders moved to his neck, he blinked his eyes open with a gasp erupting from his mouth, and the first thing he saw with his blurry sight was a pair of miscolored eyes. he blinked repeatedly as if to clear his vision, but it only made the tears to roll down his cheek, and he breathed through his mouth, heavily and slowly as he tried to regain his breath. biting his lower lip, his hands twitched and he tried to stop himself from getting up and hugging the older male. he knew he couldn't do that, and so, he opted to closing his eyes momentarily, before he forced a smile on his face — one that was very, very unconvincing — and turned to look at kyran fully. "s... sorry, did i, uh, did i wake you up?"
@⚘ : levi c 。 a few minutes passes by and charlie gets out from the bathroom, his eyes shifted to the clock right across the room. 3:25AM, he still have more than 2 hours and a half before he was supposed to wake up but before he could go back to his bed and fall back asleep, he heard a soft whimper coming from where levi is. he turned and looked at the sleeping figure that shifted from his position, noticing the way the younger lad's hands clutching against his chest and the rapid breathing that could indicate the difficulty he was facing. is he experiencing a nightmare right now? he should do something about it, there was no way that he was going to walk and sleep this out, it was obvious enough that levi needed some help so he walked towards the couch and placed his hands on levi's shoulders, lightly shaking him away from his slumber. "levi一 levi, wake up." the volume of his voice was just enough to be able to wake the other up, hoping that he'll actually wake up.
@⚘ : charlie k 。 levi found himself sitting by the living room, his upper body splayed over the lap of his mother. he felt her caress his hair, fingertips rubbing against his scalp every now and then, and he could see his father on the other side of the room, playing some kind of a video game on the television. it was raining too, and it put him into a sleepy spell. if it weren't for the fact that levi knew, he would have thought that the adults in the room with him were normal, not former machines that killed for a living. but levi had supposed that was fine — everyone couldn't help the past and what they used to be, and the most important thing was that levi had them by his side, wasn't it? they were there when he grew up, there when he wanted answers and he finally had someone to ask. this was the kind of life he led when he left the orphanage, and he knew that he was the luckier ones from the kids. he wasn't ignorant enough to ignore what kind of blessings he was given, and all he could do was wish that he could have done something for the kids back at the orphanage. when he grew up, maybe he'd be able to help them again, with the aid of his parents. he only needed to grow up even more, and then he'd be able to help them—
—but life was ty. it decided that all the good things in his life should end.
crimson painted levi's world as he watched the body of his father fall limp, and his mother had pulled on the child's wrist, dragging levi out of the room. there were gunshots, and the sounds rang in the teenager's ears. "mom, we can't leave dad behind!" levi could hear himself saying, but his mother had ignored him until they reached the fences, before he was suddenly pulled forward, trapped inside his mother's arms. "i'm sorry, darling," were his mother's hushed words. levi could remember the realization that made his stomach sink, chest heavy as he tried to hold onto her, but he was pushed away, into the shadows of the trees and into the bushes where he wouldn't be seen. the last expression he'd seen on her visage was the saddest smile he'd ever found adorning her fragile features — his strong, beautiful mother, who had shown him happiness, love, and worry, now showed him a tear-stricken mien. her lips parted to utter something, a phrase that levi couldn't hear over the ringing gunshots and the yells of the men inside, but he could understand it perfectly well.
"i love you."
"mom!" levi yelled when his mother turned her back in him. "run!" she had said, before she headed back into the burning house. with fear and grief taking a grip in his heart, he did what he was told—he ran, and cursed at how powerless he was at being able to help his parents. the forest seemed endless, and he could hear the men searching for him. but still he ran. he ran until his legs couldn't take it anymore. outside the nightmare, whimpers escaped his lips, his hands clenching into fists as he shifted in his place, moving to lay on his side as he unconsciously clutched onto his chest. it was getting harder to breathe, yet the nightmare didn't feel like it was going to end — the forest stretched far and wide, and levi felt lost. where was he? where was he even supposed to go? he hadn't known then, but he kept running anyway.
@⚘ : levi c 。 the loud booming voice coming from the living room merged bedroom indicated that levi's out of the shower while charlie was still heating the kettle filled with water, the appliance whistled once the water's finally hot enough for him to pour on two cups with teabags in it, the clear liquid now slowly turning brown. he took both cups on each hand then proceeds to go by the room where levi's at, he didn't expect for levi to be asleep already 一 he's probably that tired he guesses, he didn't want to wake him up just for tea so he lets him sleep, to rest from whatever he had been doing from today and a rest from whatever thoughts thag had beem bothering him. charlie puts what supposed to be the other's cup on the coffee table before he went near the entrance door to shut off some of the lights to make the room dimmer then he went off to his bed, sitting by the edge. his lips touches the rim of the cup as he took a sip from his tea, eyes casting over the figure on the couch. a sigh fell off his lips, a soft one 一 he hopes that his mind is at mind at the moment.
charlie didn't bother to finish his cup, he just puts it by the nightstand and thought that he'll just finish drinking it tomorrow, preheat it by the microwave as drowsiness bestowed upon him. it's been a tiring night for him as well so he lets himself lay on his bed, back facing levi's direction as he lets sleep consume him away, slipping into a dreamless sleep. it was better that way since whenever he dreams, all he dreamt about were people who are now gone from his life. lavinia who had passed away last year and a boy from the orphanage that he lost connection with, a broken promise is what still tied him up to them, to remember them though now that he was all grown up, he understopd it well that he won't come back for him even if he wants to and now that he thought of it, where is now? is he doing well with his parents? he doesn't know and he doesn't think the answer would be given to him soon enough.
hours of being passed out, charlie woke up to the urge of wanting to go to the bathroom and that he did. he slipped off from his bed and carefully made his way towards the bathroom, not wanting to wake the other up with any sudden noise. who knows that the kid was a light sleeper that he'll wake up from the sound of a needle falling onto the ground.
@⚘ : charlie k 。 once the water had touched levi's skin under the showers, it was only then that he had calmed himself down fully. though muffled, he could still hear the sound of the rain outside, and under the showers, his memories flowed as free as the water that ran down his skin. he used to love the rain. he loved the smell of the earth once it was wet with rain water, loved the calming sound of liquid dropping onto any surface it found, and even the thunders—he found them calming. thunders, they said, were the signal of birth. it was the sky's way of announcing that a new life had been born into the earth, but to levi, it stopped being that when he turned fifteen. instead of a newborn baby, the thunders signaled the end of his parents' breath, and he could clearly recall the feeling of his mother's embrace as her body turned cold with the rain. that was the same memory that greeted him every time it rained, and as much as he wanted not to think about it, it was all that occupied his mind, for the cold weather reminded him of the grief and despair he had felt at that fateful night.
he found it hard to breathe, and a hand found its way to his neck. he couldn't act like this here, not when he was in the company of someone else, not when this man knew nothing about the man that was given the title of prince of thieves. he turned the shower off, taking deep breaths to calm his heart. deep, slow breaths, and soon enough, he had managed to calm himself down. he couldn't bring down the mood even more, or kyran might just regret taking such an emo guy in. he then slapped both of his cheeks rather strongly, leaving marks on his face. he didn't care about them, however, and he stepped out of the showers and wiped himself dry. leaving the towel by his head, he wore the clothes that kyran had lent him. and the bartender was right; the clothes /did/ in fact fit him well. he stared at his own reflection in the mirror, before he held the hoodie upwards, exhaling softly.
once he came back there, he had to be like his former self. there was no use being so gloomy, after all. those were memories that only he held right then. no one else knew about them.
and that was what he did. when he walked out of the bathroom, kyran's clothes comfortably sitting on levi's rather smaller build, there was a grin to his lips once more, as though nothing had just happened earlier. "man, that was refreshing!" he said, before he plopped himself onto the couch, occupying the whole furniture with his height. "thanks for letting me shower, kiki!" his face buried into the pillow, not caring that his hair was still wet. he supposed that was a bad idea, but his whole body ached too much for him to even follow kyran into the kitchen. instead, he'd only let himself lay on top of the blanket, on his stomach, before he decided to shift carefully into a more comfortable position.
his heart was still heavy, yet the sound of the rain was enough of a lullaby to lull him into his much needed sleep. he thought about the orphanage he used to stay at before. he thought about the heterochromatic boy he'd had to protect when he was still there. he thought about pendant he'd given that boy—had that boy taken care of it? was he still alive? did that boy still remember him?—he then thought about his parents, and the life he lived with them. he thought about their death and the rain that engulfed the city while it had happened. he would forever blame his sleepiness at the tears that escaped his eyes, and slowly, his consciousness slipped from his fingertips, taking him into a rather light slumber.
ah. this was why he hated the rain, he thought to himself.
@⚘ : levi c 。 charlie saw the way levi's eyes welled up with tears, wait what's happening? he wasn't sure but he doesn't not to question as to not trigger the other, questioning him would just result up with him tearing up even more and that's no good though he did learned that crying would make one better due to the pent up emotions that one would possess 一 this just shows on how the happiest of people hides the most painful of experience they had, the sadness hidden before the smile and that made charlie worry for him, worry for levi 一 for someone he just had known for two months by now. he had told himself before that he wouldn't get attached, not yet at least but he was getting more and more attached with the thief with each day passing by and with a thought of the other getting bothered by something hidden away within his thoughts made charlie want to stay by his side. what is this feeling?
"your eyes... they're pretty,"
charlie should have expected that, really but his eyes grew wide at the compliment as a memory flashes before his thoughts 一 a memory he wanted buried deep yet now, it resurfaced again. 'your eyes, they're so pretty.' he hears a man's voice echoing the same words in a whisper-like and seductive tone that he was disgusted of as a familiar feeling washes before body, fear 一 this is fear that he felt, fear that he never thought of coming back. with his mind so loud, he didn't registered that levi was already gone, that he left to go to the bathroom. charlie released a breathe that he didn't knew that he was holding and rubbed his face with his hand. 'get it together, charlie' he said to himself, 'they're gone from your life, remember?' he convinced himself, jet ammo, the gang 一 the first ever group he felt like he had belonged to, they're out from his life. it was reported that they were all dead from a shoot out according to the news after he had left prison and started a new life, he didn't know what to really feel about it, would he be happy that they've got what they've deserved? no, not really, he wasn't even sure.
he stood up and went back to his closet to get the covers and extra blanket. he placed the cover over the sofa and placed the blanket on the middle of it before he gets to the kitchen, making both of them a cup of tea to warm their bodies up. previous thoughts now pushed into the abyss of his mind, he doesn't want to think of it and to be honest, that might just be the reason why he started wearing conatct lenses, it's to stop his trigger words from being spoken, to stop him from reacting too badly towards people when spoken of and he was really glad that levi moved quickly enough before charlie would do anything that he'll regret and would need to apologize of. he doesn't want to show the vulnerable side of his.
@⚘ : charlie k 。 when kyran had appeared back in levi's sight, the first thing that took levi's attention was kyran's eyes. it made him stop in his tracks, his line of thoughts, as the familiar pair of eyes blinked back at him. he wasn't certain why it felt familiar, and why it made the feeling in his chest even heavier. he inhaled sharply. it seemed as though the rain that day wanted him to remember things he'd long buried down his memories — memories of the past that were rather painful to bring up by now. it reminded him of a boy that he was forced to let go when he was younger, of a boy he could no longer come back to even if he might have desired so once. this was the rain's fault, he told himself as he stared quietly at the other's visage. was he being a creep right then? would kyran have been weirded out by him right then? levi wouldn't blame the other if the latter did. the thief himself knew that he was acting strange, and he'd never had to worry about this when he was alone. when he was alone inside his apartment during rainy days, he didn't have to worry about keeping up a front, a facade, and just let himself be carried away like the flow of water caused by the rain.
yet he couldn't help but let his eyes become glassy at the sight, though he blinked away whatever liquid that was threatening to fall out of his eyes. he couldn't help the words that fell out of his lips next: "your eyes... they're pretty," he said absentmindedly, before he realized what it was that he had just said. cheeks flushing in embarrassment, he quickly took the clothes from the older lad and stood. "s-sorry, that was weird, wasn't it? don't mind it! i never said anything!" he quickly rambled, bowing his torso down into a full 90 degrees. "thank you for the clothes! and i, erm, uh, i'll just choose the couch then," he continued as he straightened his back again, hiding his face behind the clothes he was holding. he cleared his throat. "please... excuse me!" he said, panicking as he tried not to run into the shower.
@⚘ : levi c 。 it didn't take long for charlie to be done showering as he had said to levi. the bathroom's door swung open to reveal him in black shorts and a plain white tshirt with a white towel over his head to dry out his dark hair. it was fortunate enough that he developed a habit of preparing his clothing to be put inside the cabinet of the bathroom just so he won't go out to get clothes from his closet just nearby his bed. he turns his head to see levi by the couch, "it's your turn kid, but first let me give you some clothes to wear." he said before walking over his closet, opening it and crouching down to open the last cabinet, getting a black hoodie and a gray sweatpants that no longer fits him along with a pair of boxers. he closed the cabinet and closet to go to where the other male was. "here, there's no need for you to give them back if ever. you can keep them, they don't fit me anymore." he handed the folded clothing to the younger lad, it was better to just give these clothes away to him than for charlie to keep it until it rots in the closet.
he sat down on the couch beside the other 一 realizing that the other was wet from the rain and is probably drenching his couch right now but he shouldn't care at all, it's just a piece of furniture anyway. with his back pressed against the soft material, his head turned to look by the window, the rain was too heavy and he had no idea when it'll be stopping soon, he has an umbrella near the coat rack by his entrance door but judging from how strong the wind is from outside, he doubts levi could make it home without getting wet once again. "you can stay for the night if you like, i wouldn't mind." his eyes fell back on the man beside him, "it's up to you if you want to use the bed or the couch, your choice. though i doubt the couch would be comfortable from how wet it is right, but i'll just provide covers and a blanket."
@⚘ : charlie k 。 kyran's voice was what forced levi out of his reverie, and levi blinked, as though he didn't immediately register the words that reached his ears. "sorry," he muttered. he hadn't even realized that he had fallen quiet until kyran had spoken of it. it was probably too obvious — he himself knew that he was never the silent type. it was almost as if he'd never run out of stories to tell, and every day was a new adventure for him, another story to tell. come to think of, there weren't really a lot of people he'd talked to as long as he had done to kyran for the past two years of his life, as he would often leave a week or so later. he'd been around the different cities, and if he were given the chance, he might have migrated to galini — but galini was a place that he would never fit into. being in galini meant that he was trapping himself a certain area in it, and levi couldn't just stay still in one place — it felt that if he stayed for too long, he'd be taken away with the flow, forgotten as time passed by.
surprise, however, colored his visage at the concerned words of the older man. 'do you know what that means?' levi wanted to ask. 'do you know what it means to become a constant in the life of a man that never stays?' but he didn't. instead, he let out a chuckle and a small smile painted over his lips, before he sped up in his pace a little just to stop by kyran's side. "don't worry about it! the sky's gloomy aura just got to me, i guess, but i'm fine, really," he said, widening his smile in an attempt to convince the other of his well-being. it was a good thing he didn't wear too much makeup — he didn't see the need, and now he could tell that he didn't regret that decision at all. it would have been ruined under the rain.
"pardon my intrusion..." he followed the older inside the apartment, and his lips parted in slight awe as he looked around, taking off his shoes and leaving them by the door. it definitely felt more homey than his own apartment, but he supposed that was to be expected. it wasn't as if levi rented his apartment to stay there for a long time — like him, it was only temporary. "hm, thanks, kiki!" he grinned at the other, genuinely grateful for the hospitality, but he stayed near the walls, by the sole window, trying not to make any area unnecessarily wet. his focus diverted from the bartender to the window, and he slid his wet wig off of his head, and he took a deep breath. he stared at the pouring rain for moments, before he averted his gaze. no, any longer and he would remember. any longer, and he'd feel vulnerable.
@⚘ : levi c 。 once they've finally arrive to their destination, charlie noticed one thing that was unusual of levi and that was the silence that he fell in. knowing the other for less than two months now, he was rather talkative 一 he talks like there was no tomorrow even from the first day they have met, he always talk so for him to be this quiet is rather... odd. "hey, are you alright kid? you've been quiet for the whole time now." charlie pointed out though it must be something he shouldn't thinking too much about since well, it seems normal for other people to be loud then all of the sudden, they're silent but it's the matter of being used to a particular behavior so levi might have something on mind that was bothering him and charlie isn't sure if wants to help out or not, he should but he doesn't know how 一 listen to him perhaps? but despite the loudness of the other, he still holds a lot of secrets that charlie doesn't need to know aboutband he respects that, he doesn't even gave any critical information about himself to the other yet.
"you don't need to tell me what's wrong, but well..." he hesitates for a bit before he can finally say it, "if you need anyone, i'm here whenever. you know where to find me." he said as he found the keys from his pockets amd inserting into the keyhole, turning it to be able to hear an audible click that indicates that the door is unlocked before turning the knob itself and opening the door to reveal a dark room. he steps inside and switched the lights on, he removes his wet trench coat and let's it hang on his arm. "i'll just take a shower, it won't take me too long so after, you can take one as well. you might catch a cold if you don't, and since you don't have any extra clothes along with you, i'll you some of mine. i don't even some of them anymore, plus they would probably fit you well." charlie then made his way to the bathroom, opening and closing the door 一 locking it as well right before he toss the wet coat into the laundry basket beside the black cabinet. he looks at the mirror and took his contact len case from the rack, removing his contact lense from his left eye, revealing its natural blue color. charlie stared at himself by the mirror, two different colored eyes staring back at him as he sighed. he peeled off his wet clothes and throws them into the laundry basket before stepping inside the shower.
@⚘ : charlie k 。 levi was breathing slightly heavily when kyran finally stopped to turn to him. he was momentarily speechless by the sudden flood of questions — what did he even want to do? levi hesitated at the thought of being accompanied home. he'd never shown anyone where he lived, nor did anyone know about his address. that meant that he would be letting kyran deeper into his life, no matter how silly it might seem to others. his lips parted to try and say something—anything to save himself from the embarrassing silence that followed after kyran's questions, but the sound of thunder interrupted his already messy line of thoughts. he didn't even let his gaze move upwards to see that the sky had grown darker — the sudden darkness that engulfed the city and the droplets of rain that fell upon the cemented ground... all of those reminded him of things he truly shouldn't be thinking of right then. he pursed his lips, and only nodded at the other's words.
his eyes focused on kyran's hand around his wrist instead of the road ahead of him. he blinked his thoughts away, and he willed his mind to be quiet. his mind was always a noisy storm of thoughts and memories, but this time, he wanted it to shut up, so he decided to pay attention to the sound of the rain that drenched the two of them, his eyes lifting to watch the bartender's back instead. he had never taken note of this before, but kyran's back was wide and broad — it gave the younger thief a lulling sense of comfort. for the first time in a while, levi was silent the whole time kyran led him to the latter's apartment complex, guiding the younger to his room number. levi supposed that he should say something, anything, but words escaped his mind. the coldness of the weather caressed levi's exposed skin with a chilly touch, and his body faintly trembled with the cold.
Hello! This is main admin pixels coming at you with a very brief message!
I'm not sure why or how this roleplay got featured in all honesty, but mayhaps there will be a revamp if we can garner enough interest and get a few steady admins to help out. I'll need to discuss with the ones currently available and work through a few finer details, should that (the revamp) actually happen, but I don't believe doing so should take too long. There will be a message about this for those actually in the roleplay as well, but if you're passing by and you want to see a revamp because you're even the slightest bit interested, feel free to comment. If you're someone looking to help out, please PM me (pixels) personally.
Do make note that if we are to revamp, I'll mention so here in the comments to let everyone know, but also know that it's going to take some time to officially set everything in motion before we can officially revamp. Other than that, though, thank you all for the feature and hopefully you're having a nice day/night!!