UPDATE ON LIFE AND ED UP . (Idk but I need to tell you…)

Ayyy it's ya Freak here, 

soooooo... 

siiiiiiigh

u know that friend I told u about? Well to be clear actually we were not fighting or anything like that we just disagreed and he just told me that he did finally get what I was saying about what I want to do with umm u know cam girl and basically p(0)Rn 

so yeah....

but unfortunately and very very unexpected... 

that friend of mine passed away... seriously like two days after... so during all this I've been just... shocked? Very numb to be honest... I have lost a good handful of my friends and family since last year so I am just..., smh idk and I'm also TRYING SO ING HARD EVER ING DAY... To be POSITIVE. To just be OK. And lately I've been just putting myself out there talking to others online and I met some real ppl like they aren't scammers at least... and TRUTHFULLY... I'm lonely and sad and depressed...angry... and I just want to be a HAPPY. 
 

so mentally and emotionally I'm either kinda shut off or I'm just scatter-brained. Besides going on my walks this last week... I just live my life on a re-run of the same  just different day... I am LOOKING for that silver lining. Lol

i really am so sorry to all my friends here I been roleplaying with. I feel bad but I just don't have the headspace atm. BUT I WILL BE BACK... SOON. Idk when soon really is... maybe a month or at least a few weeks I'm having a much needed surgery on my left foot tomorrow morning so just send me ur thoughts and some hugs n kisses? Xoxoxoxo <3 

I'm gonna be bed bound for a week after than slowly heal up n walking again. 

-thefreak