I've come to many realizations. It's hard for me to talk to people in my school because I feel like I'm forcing myself to, like not that they have done anything wrong but my feelings just make me want to move away from it all, even my best friend being outgoing can make me feel like I want to get away, because I'm weird but they are either annoying weird or just too outgoing for me to handle. It's not anxiety or social problems, I'm not bullied, I hate no one, like people are just too out there, at least the people I'm near and I feel awkward and out of place. Again really making me want to hide away with my family forever. Maybe I'm just really used to just talking and being weird with my family, I don't know. At least when I graduate I won't have to worry about talking to people in college and making friends, if I do make some then good but I'm not going out my way, it makes me personally uncomfortable. Our interests are probably too different for me speak as much maybe thats another problem.
Another thing that is happening is, I have no idea what to do with my life after school. Like I get home and sit there like scrolling through instagram, RPR, AFF, facebook, twitter, etc. but nothing suffices...I think of reading but thats not fun either despite having a lot of good books. Listening to music helps but even then I don't know what to listen to to feel better or more motivated I guess. I do homework but thats really it. I keep thinking about deleting my account for here but decide to keep, but I feel bad sometimes because my motivation is getting worse to come on and my other halfs/friends who I roleplay with have to handle it. UGH! What is my life right now?
I keep pigging out! I'm gonna end up throwing up lol XD I'm waiting for the day because I know it'll happen from all the food I'm eating without exercising.
I just need to once again sort my life out and find some motivation for certain tasks in my life.
GOTTA GO! luv you all whoever read ^.^
Comments
You must be logged in to comment.