My Philosophy behind OOC and IC feelings & mixing || Girl Meets Boy Edition

This is the result of much procrastination and lying on my bed, pondering through life events and my life in general

My Philosophy behind OOC and IC mixing || Girl Meets Boy Edition

So after a good amount of at-home working (by good i mean enough after procrastinating), I flopped onto my bed and my brain started to wander and scan through my time on RPR. It hasn't been too long for my time here, only 1 year and 3 days to be exact, but I do have a handful of wonderful, dorky, weird (very very), but amazingly lovely youngsters (im 23, im old shush) that I know and love dearly.

Hearing their stories of their time here made me realise how biased, naiive, self-centred, desperate people were on here, and they have all been here longer than me. So as I was twiddling my thumbs like the old lady I am, back rested against the head of the bed, I started racing through stories they had been agonisingly involved in, a few in which I myself have been pulled into when I had absolutely no connection to it, the other I was basically mommy-ing the situation.

Before "first thing" - I am not /roasting/ people. I have a degree in child psychology, and Analysis of people-happening and people in general is just a level 1 step for me, so please do not go around commenting "omg she's just generalising and judging so hard". I'm also a big stalker, I can track you down hehe

The first thing I had thought up through my ponder was that people NEED to be able to split IC from OOC especially when feelings of 'love' is incorprated within OOC, towards another roleplayer. Here is what I've analysed:

The times in which I've seen it happen, their characters got together first through IC, then they started talking in OOC (getting to know each other, etc) and then the /probably all the time/ one-sided feelings develop. Insecurities are conveyed through very overt possessiveness, jealousy over superficial things, fear of loss, fear of people as well. What I've seen in people who obsessed over a particular character /often because the rper is a male/ are very introverted, over-think themselves, let others get to their heads, and in the end, handle things in a very bad way. What these people fail to realise is also the difference between fantasy and reality. RPR and the function of it serves as a sort of filler for a void in such people; but this is dangerous as it leads to further delusional thinking. When someone says "roleplaying is just roleplaying for me lol no strings attatched" it may seem very offensive for these people.

After hearing the story of a few girls developing feelings OOC for a boy and mixed it with IC, it made me realise: What these girls failed to realise and in the end, deluded, was that kindness is not a means to jusity their 'feelings' towards you. To put it simply, an act of kindness, in their mind, would be changed to something like "... does he like me?" and it makes them 'fall' for the male, when the male, never intended it to be. He was simply BEING A HUMAN, NOT SOME KOREAN DRAMA BOI WHO COMES AND CATCHES YOU AS YOU SLIP ON THE WET TILE AND LOOKS "INTO YOUR EYES" AND "are you okay?" AND THEN AFTER THAT HE IS ONLY SOFT AND GENTLE TO YOU BUT A BAD BOY TO OTHERS LIKE OH MY GOD IN-

anyway

Here is how the long pitfall to unnecessary drama  happens.

In the instances which I've experienced, two characters are dating. The RPERS of these two characters have been talking to each-other, got to know each-other, and somehow, the girl had been growing feelings for the boy. yes it happens. It makes others very uncomfortable when confessed through a place like RPR; the fact that both their characters are in a relationhip makes it even more awks. Whats EVEN MORE awkward is when the guy doesn't return the feeling, and the RPING relationship gets 'tainted' with OOC feelings. When this happens. When OOC is very thoroughly mixed with IC, all that happens is confusion, and often, in the case I'm mentioning, it can feel a bit creepy. And what do people do when things get awkward and creepy? You guessed it, they back out. 

This boy, who quote, "has been through this the first time" and had encountered the second, decided to back out; this included breaking up with the other's character. dun dun dunnnnnnnn this is when the previous insecurities flood in. When handled maturely and properly, the boy's opinion is respected, understood, and things go on as per usual. But we've all heard of salty exes right? MHM

As things have moved on for this boy's character with another cute lil boy (omg i love that couple so much, they're so cute oH MY GOD sorry, spaz moment), the girl's character would just-

"Wow."

"Already?"

"I guess I wasn't important to you."

"Just wow."

"/gets up and leaves/"

like ???????????????????????? excuse me???????????

It was very clear to me that this girl expected said boy to "go back to her character" and 'get back together." But as he said in his own blog post, when he knows all this was due to OOC feelings, it's impossible for him to turn back, and he wouldnt give so much of a second glance. As cruel as it may sound, for a boy who's been through drama already, (and for someone like him), it would be very distressing to go through that again. for him, and others around him (mah loveleh dorks). The obvious link between OOC feelings in IC was also shown when she then tried to use that original character to get with another character of his. ??? but it didn't work out for her.

In the end, this made him the 'bad guy'. To her, and people like her, you may be thinking, "but maybe he lead her on?"

To that, I must point out again, kindness is not always a means for affection. This boy, although a huge dork with close friends, to others, he carries a particular aura about him. It is weirdly intense, hard-to-talk-to type thing. In k pop culture terms, the 'bad boy' aura.

And yes. When I put it VERY. VERY. BLUNTLY. This girl was alas deluded by K-DRAMA. let me, this old 23 year old tell you something. The "boy next door" doesnt /have/ to like you. It's not all sparkles with cheesy OSTs playing as the BGM okay? /sarcastic clapping/

Through this delusion, further enhanced through RPR, and this boy's intense 'bad boy' aura (and tbh good looks), his kindness mistaken for affection, this girl has hence dug herself up a grave.

What may have hurt her the most was when he rejected her, him thinking "lol when did i lead you on" and her, overthinking previously mentioned kindess as affection.

Salty, misunderstandings, with his character moving on and- oh wait, more saltiness? Yep. Drama.

When does more drama happen? When pity is attempted to be achieved for the girl, simultaneously making the boy the son of a , but hey, he himself said he dont give a so, yeah

I guess what my ultimate concluding thought through this intense ponder is that

1. KINDNESS and AFFECTION is DIFFERENT

2. Bad Boys exist, but there is a cocky bad boy, a boy who just dont give a , and a bad boy who is created within your own delusional mind; e.g. this bad boy only has a soft spot for you, like, ????? life aint a kdrama except for the scenes where you n wake up and eat and sleep

3. IC and OOC should NOT BE MIXED

4. ... /sigh/ dis aint a place to meet potential boyfies okai

5. When a character break-up happens, learn to move on.

6. Salitness doesnt help at all

7. K-DRAMA is NOT the majority 'romance story' you get, wake up

8. If you think a boyfriend is the only way you can feel less lonely, think again.

9. CRYNG/DROPPING STUDIES over such things is dumb

10. RESPECT each other's decision 

i might make this an ongoing series, pointing out issues within RPR lol HAHAAHAHAH

koma out