⤹ tea shop

@hange zoë. Closer than I’d like to be, at times.
*He didn’t like his relationships with others to feel too close, but sometimes it was inevitable. The closer they became the more influence they had over him and generally, he disliked that thought*
I’m sure he’s a damn good gentleman. He’s got the qualities for it.
*He paused at a thought came back to him, a conversation about a brunette he’d been helping*
Ah, I remember now. I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. He asked you out didn’t he? Pft.
*Seeing her false display was amusing, but his face didn’t really reflect it so much*
You’d give me a slap on the wrist in private? Seems a bit much.
I was thinking something involving rope, garden shears and lemon juice.
*He didn’t want to say in what he thought she meant in great detail as it seemed a bit vulgar to say in a quaint little tea shop*
You’re kind of a creep sometimes, four eyes. I can never be sure of what’s going on in that big brain of yours.
*With that, seeing as the woman had finished her meal, he stood up in hopes to start cleaning up. It was probably about time he go and stand near the door. Costumers would start trickling in at the site of the maids costume and he’d be put to work once more*
Roasting my baking skills even now, huh?
*he couldn’t tell if she was still roleplaying her snooty rich person role. Honestly there wasn’t too big of a difference between her normal self and the act, though what that was suppose to mean, he was unsure*
*He took a moment to truly think about learning more about baking, carrying the empty cups and plate on a tray*
Fine, I’ll meet with your friend. Let her know and we’ll go from there.
*His gaze shifted to the crumbs on her shirt, but he ignored them. They would fall on his immaculate floor or perhaps they’d fall in the seats and remain nestled there to rot or invite little critters to seek them out… one could never know. Though the thought would have him unable to sleep tonight*
You’re not half bad, clown feet.
*A big messy and a bit unorganized, but being a good judge of character, he could see her kindness behind those thick goggles of hers*

@levi ackerman. You are on close terms with him, then? You could learn more from him, such as how to properly treat ladies like myself.
/she finds his quick denial amusing. She didn't mean to insinuate that the attractions from the ex-military personnel were all romantic; only a couple expressed such non-platonic interest in her. She knows she's not of conventional beauty and her personality is not easily meshable with another's. However, she's not desperate for a partner. She dramatically places the back of her hand on the side of her forehead/
Ah, you've wounded me greatly!
/her lashes fluttering, she took an innocent cadence/
Whatever do you mean? I merely meant to give you a slap on the wrist for your impudence. Pray tell how you imagined i'd discipline you.
/she has no trench coats, though she has a lab coat hanging in her closet. Thinking about it, the lab coat hasn't been washed for months./
/the sight of his grumpy little face has her cackling mentally. She finishes the last morsel of her scone and iced tea/
Fret not, with the current state of your scones, it would be a couple years before anyone forgets this is predominantly a tea shop.
/his willingness to try, in spite of his reluctance, fuels her motivation to see him succeed. She eagerly pulls out her phone to contact her baker friend/
I do want this place to remain open. Here, since I'm so generous, i can link you with one of my friends! She teaches baking. If you're interested, i'l inform her to save you a spot.

@hange zoë. *She was interested in his medals as well? He for one didn't care for medals and believed that they were just another way to keep soldiers soldiering. For what purpose did a man really have to fight another man's war?*
Ah, so you've met the commander... He can be a bit passionate, I think.
*He was somewhat amused by that fact. How she managed to run into someone who was so careful not to be seen was beyond him. Even Levi could hardly get him out and about these days*
The old man hardly leaves his work, I'm surprised to hear you of all people saying his name. Maybe all the military guys find you alluring. Me excluded, of course.
*Every moment he spent in the military was done so strictly as a means to survive, he held little to no patriotism. Sure he had a sense of duty, most people had it to some extent, but the military was no longer something he talked about unless he found himself before an old friend like Erwin. Erwin who often needed to talk about his days in the military to relieve some of the trauma, not that he would admit to it*
I got a few metals of honor and such, they're not all that important to me. But if ever I think about it, I'll send you some pictures.
*If he could figure out how to take them and send them in the first place*
*Levi was immediately interrupted of all thoughts upon seeing the mischievous glint in her eye. As a person of generally no expression, he was a bit moved by her behavior. He'd describe himself as a more vanilla type, but something about it had him--albeit-- quaking*
The hell--
*He of course maintained his calm and collected demeanor, despite the urge he felt to avoid looking her in her light brown eyes. Regardless, a part of him, deep... deep down, didn't mind the idea of being thrown over her shoulder. Though, that feeling resided next to his hidden liking of this maid's costume... The one he spent several hundred dollars on to make perfect*
Seems like your shaping up to be quite the individual, huh four eyes?
Maybe even the y trench coat type.
*He crossed his arms over his chest, now finished with his tea and feeling a tad bit grumpy again*
I'm not a baker, I'm a tea maker-- Everyone would forget it's a damn tea shop and start calling it a bakery.
*Toying with any other title seemed phony and inappropriate. He was loyal to his craft... and stubborn. She sounded like a particular commander they knew, telling him to branch out*
Harassment seems to work quite well actually...
*It was of course a very slow and inefficient tactic that proved to have very mixed results. Nonetheless, it was one he was most comfortable with*
I suppose the consultant could see a little more than I could exactly what the place needs.
*He sighed in defeat, unhappy with the thought that Hange could actually have a point. The place was sinking and if he cared about it like he said he did, he would have to try a little harder to patch it up and keep it afloat. Even if that meant taking on other types of work such as baking*
Suppose I can add a few things to the menu... since you wanna see me succeed so badly.

@levi ackerman. What kind of medals?
/tilts her head in curiosity. She doesn't know much about the military decoration, though she's sure there are different medals for specific skills/
I know a few. It's interesting, though, how they only came into my life recently. A decade ago, i didn't even know anyone from the military.
/her own assistant was also from the airforce. He held an engineer role instead of a combat role/
There's this former commander i met recently! His name's erwin — have you worked together — but eyebrows suits him better
/laughs at her own joke/
Do you–
/leans in, a glint in her eye/
–want me to discipline you?
I don't know about your cooking. Even so, you're not a /terrible/ baker! Continue improving and soon, patrons will come for your moody, minute man in a maid outfit and stay for the delicious products.
You won't even have to harrass them to visit
/chuckles at how he did the same to her/

@hange zoë. I was, for a little while. *A pause* As a runt, I was dirt poor. You can call it my way out-
*It was during his time as a soldier, he met Erwin among many other lifelong friends, whether it was against his will or not*
Hated being a soldier, but I think I made a pretty good one. I've got enough medals to prove it. Do you know a lot of soldiers.
*He joined her in taking a sip of tea, happy to feel the little bit of caffeine coursing through his veins*
You dislike my attitude? And here I was thinking you had a weakness for men of my moody temperament. Do you intend to beat me up then?
*She could certainly try, but he wasn't concerned. Whether that was a ual innuendo, he really couldn't tell, but Hange didn't necessary seem the type... Then again, her somewhat 'un-lady-like' behavior made him think differently at times*
*Upon hearing her comment, his eyes shifted off to the other side of the tea shop to hide his embarrassment. He may or may not have looked up a few pointers on scone baking to improve, knowing that the woman before him quite enjoyed the burnt ones he'd made her several days ago*
I'm glad you like them. I told you I was a decent cook-

@levi ackerman. /scrunches her nose/
Well, you know how to find me if you've changed your mind.
/the information excites her, not in the way that he had to wear prosthetics but that she absorbed new details. She had seen the oddity of the last two fingers the previous time, off in colour and movement, which raised her suspicions. This particular prosthesis just confirms it. She marvels at the somewhat fluid motion./
You were a soldier too!? I seem to be attracting the former military personnel
/trails off, before gesturing to her exquisite tea. Takes a large sip, appreciating how the lavender complemented the oolong/
You became something even better: a shorty tea master 69000. Not even version 59,999 either.
/his cooperation brings a wide grin to her face. She tuts upon seeing the fork, although she still uses it./
I'm glad you know your place. Still, we'll have to correct the snide attitude. Later on, when there's nobody else around
/starts to devour her deformed scone, crumbs falling out her opened mouth as she munches in glee, her elegant persona momentarily disrupted/
It's better than last time! Way better, in fact. Did you take baking lessons since my last visit?
/narrows her eyes at him/

@hange zoë. *A huff of air came form his nose to show that he was still very much amused*
There you go with that again;
I’m not really all that eager to be set up with someone, they might even be grossly disappointed.
*He partially believed his statement, but the woman sitting across from him probably already knew that. Though he meant well, even he could admit his personality was of the rougher and tougher variety*
They’re not passive, so they possess the ability to grasp and release similarly to my other fingers. I normally wear my silicone set, which match my skin tone enough so that no one can generally tell I’m wearing a prosthetic, but occasionally, when I’m doing a little more, I’ll wear the more heavy duty set.
*He held his hand out to show her a little better, considering she was interested in it*
It’s not myoelectric, but it is a hybrid build and is body powered.
*They moved along with the string attached to his wrist, fluidly almost, but clearly not as normal fingers would*
I lost them when I was a soldier.
*His friend Erwin walked away with more psychological damage, he had simply lost a few fingers*
Guess my career as a chef wasn’t meant to be after all.
*He shrugged and took ahold of his tea cup once more, relaxed completely until she decided that she needed silverware. His cold eyes narrowed a bit, but without a word, he stood and made his way back behind the counter to grab her majesty a fork. Upon returning, he placed both the fork and knife on a napkin next to the plate, deciding to play along with her fancy facade*
My apologizes fancy pants, can’t believe it slipped my mind. I am but a lowly servant, meant only to satisfy your every need.

@levi ackerman. Pants fancier than you expected?
/raises an expectant brow, folding her arms/
Do you still doubt my ability to set you up with a compatible individual?
Why, yes. Yes it does.
/she hadn't commented on his missing fingers previously out of courtesy; however, he's wearing prosthetics this time. They look to be of higher quality. She had seen a few patients with prosthetics in her previous career, providing her with a limited knowledge of the application. His didn't seem to be myoelectric./
Is it wrist-driven? How long have you been wearing these? That is, if you don't mind my asking.
/curious as she is, hange is cautious in threading the subject matter/
/reaches to take the scone with her bare hand before she drops it, searching for cutlery. She has a role to play, she reminds herself. Addresses him snootily/
And where are my knife and spoon?

@hange zoë. A consultant? I knew you were some kind of fancy pants, but that's--
*He set his tea down onto the table, looking her up and down and pretending to size her up. This clumsy, loud, eclectic woman was an individual others came to for advice? Just the thought of it made him want to laugh*
Seems this affluent behavior suits you, huh?
*It was obvious by her response that perhaps he'd misunderstood. She didn't seem the rich type, anyway. He'd known plenty of those. His hand reached for the tea to take another delightful taste*
You're asking me if my fingers work? Does my outfit have you that worked up, Hange?
*The statement was more for amusement purposes. Afterwards, he wiggled them to show her they were not so much passive in function. Though, he didn't trust them with something as delicate as a tea cup. The petite male had tried his fair share of prosthetics but these, being the most expensive ones, had faired well in terms of use-- not that he felt a particular need to wear them. They did assist in making scones or hanging herbs, but generally, those things could still be done without them*
My other hands work just fine, y'know.
*He used the free hand to gently slide the plate of scones in her direction*
You've been working all morning, no doubt. Eat something, snooty pantz.

@levi ackerman. The nicknames you come up with are atrocious that they're seared into my mind.
/that he used 69 made hange remember it even more. She wouldn't be surprised if he reveals it's a kink of his/
/she allows the napkin to be rested upon her lap, sending him an affronted look/
I CLE–
/stops before continuing in a softer voice. She is determined to stick with the elegant, affluent act. It's not everyday that she gets to roleplay, much less order the shorty around./
–aned up well last time, didn't i?
Now shoo. Off you go to make the tea. I expect it to be dancing on my tastebuds!
/waits expectantly, wanting to drum her fingers on the table but doesn't. She passes the time by checking on her emails instead, reading the weekly entries sent by her editor/
/the sounds of his returning footsteps cause her to look up, eyeing the tray before her. So he has improved on the baking time, though not on the shape of the scones. She directs her eyes towards him, caught offguard./
I did? Oh–
I live comfortably as a ... consultant of sorts.
/daintily holds her plastic cup as if it were a teacup, pinky in the air with four fingers around the circumference. The floral aroma of the tea is enhanced by the garnish of rose petals. A nice touch, she mentally commends. She glances at him as she drinks; her attention is brought to the way he grips his cup./
What a peculiar way of holding. Are the prostheses passive?

@hange zoë. *It was almost as if she was actively searching for moody men in maid outfits; she seemed the type. She'd probably even enjoyed being bitten by them if she found herself to close. His mind shifted briefly to their conversation about her basement, but dispersed*
Don't get me wrong. I know I'm not getting any younger or anything of the sort. That being said, I'm definitely hip. I'm surprised you even remember that old nickname, it's so last week.
*His sense of humor was uncomfortably dry and even if one laughed, very few could even tell he was joking thanks to his flat expression. He didn't mind, however, since he found it amusing enough*
*Her shift in demeanor, matching that of a snobby, posh character was typical most likely, but did earn a few more concerned glances. It had somehow earned a tiny smirk from the infamous tea drinker himself. He always appreciated the ability to work from scratch and would provide her with the best tea leaves her tongue had ever tasted*
Glad to hear it. I plan on taking you for every cent you're worth--
*As part of the service, he did add a little act. As soon as she was seated, he removed the menu and cloth napkin from his apron, placing the latter against her lap and stuffing the menu back into his pocket once more*
We both know how messy you can be. Try not to destroy my table, clown feet.
*He gave her a look, making his way back toward the kitchen to prepare her tea. Given their last encounter, he could tell that, even though it an atrocity to make tea sweet, Hange preferred the slightest bit of sweetness. This information had led him to brew a gentle oolong tea with lavender and honey, but rose petals to bring out its already floral taste. He'd also made the choice to brew it cold, though that was another atrocity he preferred not to perform often. But considering her preference, he let it slide*
*Upon returning, he carried a tray over his palm which was fitted with a few scones as well as the previously prepared tea. The frill of his outfit matched the rhythm of his movement, causing him too appear far more soft, just as his insides were*
Here.
*He placed the tea and plate of scones in front of her and took a seat on the opposite side of the booth, picking up his own hot tea of the same flavor. This time the baked treats weren't burnt, but they were still very misshapen*
You said you're wealthy, right? I still haven't asked what you do for a living.
*He held his tea by the rim, using his three good fingers and allowing the two prosthetic ones to dangle in the air*

@levi ackerman. /her hand itches to play with the hairband while it's still in the shorter's hair, yet hange is sure he wouldn't appreciate it. The feisty little man would probably even damage her hand. She thus settles for hooking him closer/
Oh nothing~
It's not everyday i see a moody man in a maid outfit. Gotta appreciate it while i can!
/steps back after he unhooks himself from her/
I meant to ask you about that nickname by the way! Eyes with a 'z'. Is this your way of being hip?
It certainly gives shorty tea master 69,000 a run for its money.
/exhales in amusement when he adopts that stance. Deciding to use his costume to her advantage, hange straightens her posture. an air of haughtiness surrounds her as she folds her arms and tilts her nose up. She puts on her best aristocratic voice./
I'll have your best aromatic drink paired with its ideal savoury. Don't skimp on the type of leaves; i'm wealthy enough to buy your entire shop. I expect you to serve the requested promptly.
/saunters over to an empty booth and places her behind on it elegantly/

@hange zoë. *Oh right. This was an individual who had no notion of personal space. Levi regretted his extended invitation almost immediately, though it wasn’t due to the concerned looks among his other clientele or even the grand amount of pleasure she’d taken from seeing him in such a state, but rather the sideways embrace she’d pulled him into*
I opened early… guess I didn’t mention that part-
*He didn’t match her manic energy and remained just as calm and collected as what one would expect. His eyes shifted downward to observe her choice in shoe wear for the day, wondering why on Earth the woman seemed so much taller than he was and if it had just gone over his head the last time they’d met. Apparently, it had*
*Her attention to the detailed of his dress was so much that the smaller male almost found himself feeling a tad bit… embarrassed. He wasn’t used to being doted on in such a way and rarely cared for it, but still. How could she be so… bright?*
Just what the hell are you doing, huh?
*His cheek pressed against her armpit as she pulled him in closed, though he was somewhat glad to have the mild blush hidden from view*
The damn things came with the outfit, didn’t seem right to waste them.
*He took ahold of her wrist and gently pulled himself away from the choke hold, straightening the frill of his dress with his small hands*
Don’t worry, Harry. You’re still the only cash cow ty four eyes in my book…
*His cold gaze returned to her finally as he moodily placed a hand on his hip*
You gonna order somethin’ or what? I think I’ve gone through enough torture-

@levi ackerman. LEEEEEEE– oh.
/the door swinging open cuts her off, bringing a sheepish smile to her face that widens even more when he adjusts her skewed glasses. Once they're straightened, hange sticks her arm out in a wave/
HELLO! Missed me? Could have sworn the door was locked.
/mutters to herself, though she lets it go once she spots him in a certain outfit. She steps inside the shop and tightly grips the little male's shoulders. Her eyes shine brightly behind her glasses as she assesses levi in his maid outfit, looking so–/
RUFFLES!!! LACE! HAIRBAND!!
/she twirls him around somewhat forcefully in an act of elation, nothing the items that surprised her. In her peripheral vision, hange notes the judgemental stares from the mostly concerned and less amused customers, though she pays no heed to them/
RIBBON! SPECTACCLESSS!!
/her eyes widen at the sight of them. She wonders if they're prescriptive. Swinging an arm around his neck, hange nestles close to the disgruntled shopowner and points at his spectacles/
Joining the cool train, huh?

@hange zoë. *He noticed something was 'off' and paused in his tracks-- a soft thumping, almost-- playing with his ears. It wasn't until he turned around to see the familiar face at the door and heard it calling his name that he knew exactly what it was disturbing the Earth's gravitational pull.*
Isn't it too early to be acting like a jackass?
*The door was unlocked, but she sure did insist on making a scene so early in the day. A few other clients had found their way in, enticed by the sight of the petite man dressed head to toe in a maid costume. He'd even committed to wearing a bow this time.*
Doors work a lot better when you open them first.
*He , pulling it open to stop her from banging on the glass. As cute as the dress was, it did nothing to change his ice cold expression and moody demeanor. It didn't matter, however. The costume was pulling in costumers far more than his ugly mug would on any other day*
( https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ca/65/7b/ca657b7b4ee1a7330146665aece75fa3.jpg )
You'll knock your glasses off if you keep tripping over your feet like some kind of dork.
*His hands reached up to adjust her glasses for her, the pair that she'd managed to knock crooked in all her haste. The act itself almost required him to stand on his tiptoes, but he was saved by his somewhat long arms.*

@levi ackerman. /feet pounding down the sidewalk, she turns the corner and rushes towards the front door, only to slam into it headfirst as the door's locked. She rubs her head as she spots the 'open' sign/
LLLEEEEEVIIIIII
/knocks on the door nonstop/

@levi ackerman. "No, i bet you'd make your visitors do the dirty work." Being such a clean freak, he'd surely take pleasure in having others caked in mud while he sat on his porch, sipping tea. And then force them to clean the gardening tools, given them a thorough inspection. Probably make them re-clean each tool if even a speck of dirt was found. Despite what he'd said, hange knew he wanted her to wipe the table instead of her face when he handed her the damp cloth. She glared back. "My feet are normal for my height. Can't help that i'm tall." She didn't bother tackling the former part of the insult, knowing he was completely right.

"Hm. I'm sure it's not only an old 's fantasy. There are many abnormals out there, you know." Though hange hasn't been in the dating scene for years, she was aware of the aforementioned abnormals and their es. Frequently did the magazine receive weird emails, although moblit did a great job at filtering them prior to sending to hange. He would show her those filtered emails when she demanded him to do so. Part of her research to providing good advice, she'd say. Not that moblit needed any convincing; he was always loyal to her to a fault. Those ignored emails and the superficial romance novels she had were the theoretical gateway into another world.

She cackled at his words. "Who knows, i might intentionally match you with the wrong person and indulge in your relationship issues." She leaned back, a glint in her eyes. "Purely business, you see." Hange hadn't revealed her job to him, so she'd take delight in his puzzled face as he tried to work out the connection.

Hange's phone vibrated, showing notifications of the new emails that came in for the week and the message from levi's phone. She tucked her phone back into her pocket. It was going to be fun pranking him later on. "Dirty manga, huh. So you're those types." She rolled her eyes at his obvious provocation. "Yeah, my s are small. Tell me something new." It didn't help that she only wore sportsbras. Despite that, the lack of size benefitted her in her previous career.

She took her cue to leave, dumping the empty cup of iced tea into the bin. "Is that a threat or a sincere request, levy? Either way, i'll be here just to see you in that maid costume. Perhaps capture it for blackmail purposes too." Her phone was vibrating again, this time much longer. She took out her phone, seeing moblit's name flashing on the screen. Work duties. Hange waved as she left the shop. "See ya, shorty!" The tea shop's door closed as she picked up the call.

[post deleted by owner]

@hange zoë. The table was indeed pretty clean, but she didn't have to know that. As excitable as she was, that fact would go straight to her head... or perhaps her clumsy feet. Hange seemed the type to invade personal space which was the smaller gentleman's biggest fear to say the least. Besides, seeing her unsatisfied face at the mention of a poor job done was fulfilling enough for him.

At first, her sudden amusement confused him. Was is funny to her to imagine him with a hoe? It was quite large, yes... but he wielded it well, as he did with all of his child sized tools. Levi huffed once he realized telling her he had child sized tools would only amuse her further. "How does one garden without prodding the soil with a hoe? I'm not using my hands." Not using his hands was an understatement. He wore gloves that stretched beyond his wrists even. "At least I don't trip over my giant feet." His cloudy grayed eyes sent a lasered glare in her direction, though he knew it was all fun and games at this point.

He watched as she settled in at the table once more, still maintaining his somewhat bratty, moody disposition and even going as far as crossing one of his short legs over the other. "No thanks-- Not a fan of serving some old s fantasy." Given that the man had developed a long-standing distaste for abandonment and that he sought to mostly keep himself away from creating sustainable, intimate relationships with people at all times, it seemed romance was a considerably tall task. Though, her suspicion was right. His tough exterior and falsified distance with others was merely a ruse. He cared deeply for people he managed to build those 'taboo' relationships with. "Can't see you playing a very good matchmaker though."

He'd briefly dated a woman-- Petra was her name-- but it didn't work out. She was one of a few different relationships he'd had, but one whose departure took it's toll.

Levi scrunched his nose as she took the $20 phone from him. Surely it wasn't ancient history at this point. There were parts of the world that still very much enjoyed their use... or perhaps that was just an article he read to ease his suspicions about being labelled old. He took the phone from her and stuffed it back into his apron, suspecting nothing of her time poking around. Hearing her next words, however, the much smaller male remained unbothered. How bold could this lady be. He clicked his tongue, playing with the lobe of his pierced ear momentarily. "Though, I think I prefer dirty manga over . Haven't gotten around to really watching any...." His eyes briefly shifted down her slender neck to observe what she was packing, but quietly returned to her face not long after. He smirked at the realization, hoping that he could further with this exciting new information. "Flat chested... yeah- That checks out." Not that he was a man per say.

Levi stood from his seat, amused still as he stretched his arms over his head. "I should get to work." There was no one in the shop, but perhaps he could get home and do some gardening. "You should come visit me some time Harry..." He purposely misspoke her name, still very much amused. "It was not a completely unbearable conversation-- so thanks for that, I guess." The apron was soon hung onto his normal hook behind the counter. "Maybe I'll take your advice and turn this place into a Host Cafe." His tiny frame returned back to the table. "Or maybe I'll just break out the maid outfit, you'll never know."

@levi ackerman. Hange's eyes rounded when he nudged at her lips with a napkin, a blue stain showing on it after he pulled away. She felt a rush of mixed emotions, a whirlwind of astonishment, embarrassment, appallment, relief, and gratitude. It was all she could do not to jump out of her seat and squeeze the life out of him. Hange knew he was a softie deep down. "It must have been there for a long time." She gave an appreciative grin, which soon faded after his backhanded comment. Sure, she was messy, as proven by the blob jam that had spent its vacation on the corner of . However, even she could tell that the table was virtually spotless. The scone crumbs were removed and there was no longer a ring of puddle on the table — besides rubbing with diluted isopropyl alcohol, hange didn't think the table could be any cleaner. Despite that her eyes twitched with irritation, she decided to take the false appreciation and moved on.

"Do you prod at the soil with a hoe?" She imagined him handling a hoe almost the same height as him, mentally cracking up. The thought of him probably furiously rubbing at the stained garden wear after each visit amused her even more; she smiled widely.

Still in his space, hange tilted her head as she assessed his features. In spite of the permanent scowl, he was good-looking. She flicked her eyes back to his and disengaged from the table, sitting down on her chair. "Bratty partners are always an 'in thing'. Shall i help you find someone suitable?" The ones in her inner circle didn't fit the image, though, with her connections, hange was confident she'd able to find a sugar parent for him.

She was not expecting much, yet the flip phone– it was incredulous to her that in this modern day and age, someone would still use a flip phone as their primary device. Levi wasn't an elderly, too. "How– wha– why– i'd like to have a closer inspection." She gingerly plucked the phone out of his grasp, nodding at the aforementioned game icon sitting on the home page. She sneakily sent a message to her phone number before exiting the message app. She handed back the flip phone, open at his declaration. "I assure you, i wasn't implying that. Although! Now that we're on the topic, let me mention this: there are two kinds of people in the world: those who watch and those who lie. Didn't you say you're not much of a liar?" Her lips curled briefly, a faint but teasing slant that minutely lifted her cheek.

@hange zoë. The annoyance on his face only grew. Hange had to be the dimmest bulb he'd had the pleasure of knowing. Levi grimaced, knowing good and well her choosing to wipe the table was likely because he hadn't verbalized what the rag was intended for, but still. How could she not feel the jam on her face? She looked ridiculous. Now the rag was too dirty to be used on her face. "That's not what I meant, four-eyes..." Levi impatiently leaned in and tugged a napkin from the dispenser, using it to finally wipe the jam from her lips. The touch was collected and gentle despite the frustrated tone in his voice. There. Finally he could focus on the conversation at hand.

The little man took his seat once again, tossing the napkin down onto his plate for good measure. "I don't typically ask my costumers to wipe my tables because they'd never live up to my standards." He'd gotten pretty good at mixing chemicals himself, though they were for sanitation and not for whatever shady circumstances she did them for. "But thanks for..." His eyes dared to flicker down toward the table, which was still filthy. "..that."

"but, to answer your question... It's a decent sized garden. Enough to take up a good portion of my backyard." One could easily find him working in it with a cloth tied around his forehead and gardening gloves over his slender wrists. He could disagree with the sentiment, but hearing her hand slap against the table did have him on edge. If life were as simple as it was in stupid little computer games, it would have been far more enjoyable. "Should I go and get married then? To a sugar mommy or daddy looking for a moody little man?" It sounded like a lot of work to be doted on and he generally disliked the idea. Besides, he had plenty of money rolling in to fortunately keep himself from having to 'marry' into money.

"I'm not good with computers, I'll admit." Levi had to buy a new system at least once a year considering he either destroyed his current one or clicked on things he wasn't suppose to. "I'm by no means a gamer." He took the flip phone out of his pocket and showed it to her for added effect, knowing it would highlight how little of technology he could tolerate. Unfortunately, getting a new computer every year meant learning about whatever other impossible upgrades came with it. The manuals always had his head spinning and his temper on full display. "I can figure out how to click the little icon thing and get the game going, but other than that..." Levi squirmed just thinking about it. His young, hip friends were normally the ones to get the games and apps installed. "If you're asking me if I watch , then no. I do not."

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@levi ackerman. "Ha ha. Hilarious. I'm not divulging the secrets of my basement anytime soon!!!" Her eyebrows shot up as an idea came to her. "Spiked tea! That's how we bring in the nonbelievers. See! I'm already helping to expand your customer base. You should be grateful." Hange folded her arms with a proud, smug grin on her face, the blob of jam wiggling with her lip movements. As he stood up, she expected him to bring her something in gratitude, only to be appalled when he came back with a damp cloth. "You ... want your customer to clean the table." She deadpanned yet took the rag regardless, wiping the table with a few quick swipes, cussing at the clean freak the entire time. "Phew!" She sat back and placed the folded rag at the corner of the table. "You're welcome." The smirk went past hange's processor. "Well, yeah. That's why i'm asking. How big is your garden?" Her eyes sparkled as he went on. She smacked the table. "If only you could do that in real life! Then, you'd be able to liven up this tea shop." She referred to the asset split during divorce. "No, you seem like the type to yell at the youngsters in your front lawn. The one who clicks on the spam email and gets a computer virus– are you sure you /haven't/ opened any suspicious links?"

@hange zoë. "I sure hope you're not making meth in that basement of yours, Zoe Hange." It was a tease and likely not a good one, but the much smaller individual rarely separated the two. "If your concoctions don't get me drunk off my , I don't think I'll waste my time." He was a fan of alcohol, but rarely drunk with anyone other than his buddy Erwin, though his large friend would generally decline any fun in the first place. "If I decided to open a bar, it would do a hell of a lot better than a tea shop. I didn't take you for a brewing witch." He mumbled, standing up from the chairs without a word and quietly disappearing behind the counter. He returned with a damp rag and held it out for her, hoping that she would use it to wipe her messy face. "Wouldn't you like to know all the things I grow in my garden..." The corner of his lips curled into a smirk, though it was one of very, very few. "I grow tea leaves, but also vegetables and fruits when I can get away with it." And, not to toot his own horn, but he was pretty good at it. Seeing her leaned half way across the table in her excitement, Levi scrunched his nose. Perhaps she lacked the thing that told people they were invading another's personal space. "I dabble..." He mumbled, "I like games that I can get married and build a farm on. I do well romancing the different romance options and then getting divorced. You find that strange? "

@levi ackerman. With the smidge of jam resting leisurely on the corner of her lips, hange finally determined that the cause of her blurriness was due to her smeared glasses. She brought her glasses to the tail of her shirt and roughly wiped the lenses, looking up. Though she could barely make out the shape of his head, her big, brown orbs focused in his general direction. "You haven't tried my concoctions yet. Who knows, maybe they'll be a hit with your customers!" She argues, affronted. Her glasses were back on her jam-decorated face. "Your current menu isn't doing much to pull in new customers. Mystery mixes could lure them in, be the appetiser while your current menu is the main course." The suggestion wasn't so much for him as it was for her; she simply wanted to share her creative concoctions with others. "What do you grow in your garden? I'm expecting there to be all kinds of tea leaves." She was intrigued by his mention of photography and computer gaming, though it was more of the latter. "We'll circle back to photography–" she excitedly plants her half her body on the table, getting in levi's space. " you /game/? Comfort games, so they're possibly simulator or casual games. Still! That's unexpected."

@hange zoë. She could be so... unexpected at times. Seeing her cheeks so round and stuffed with food had been just distracting enough to keep him from noticing the crumbs escaping down onto the table. Was she doing that to be polite or to be obnoxious? Levi really couldn't tell. Then again, maybe it was useless trying to figure her out. It was unlikely the two of them would ever meet again, right? "If you like them so much, I'll have to make some more then." His intimidating, dull gray eyes focused on the jam nestled in the corner of her lips... which bothered him immensely. "Dime or not, you're making a royal mess."

The much shorter male listened to her, slightly amused by the suggestion. "You want me to kill the only costumers that visit me with your strange concoctions?" He clicked his tongue. She could say the darndest things with far too much conviction. "I think my menu is nice enough, but thanks." If the jam on her face wasn't bothersome enough, the smudges of his glasses certainly were. "I garden, mostly. But I do appreciate a good book when I have the patience for it." He must have had an immense responsibility on his hands in a past life because in this one, he rarely felt the motivation to do anything other than tend to his garden, clean, and drink tea. "Mostly, my time is spent here... Though recently I've been getting into photography and computer comfort games." He'd even been able to create his own farm virtually, which he was quite proud of.

@levi ackerman. "To some extent. I do know that if you do not even try, you're guaranteed a fail." A faint crease appeared on her forehead when she saw how small a bite levi took, prior to leaving it untouched. He had so low confidence in his baking. Hange snatched the barely eaten scone and stuffed it in . "What? I paid a dime for these," she said between bites, with a few crumbs spitting out , upon seeing his judgemental face. They weren't /inedible/.

She swallowed down the remnants with her remaining iced tea and let out a satisfied sigh. "Perhaps my interests are nerdy... and i am tall and lively, although those two do not always go together!!!" She thought of her tall friend and her taller partner who were heavily involved in sports. "I like to create websites. And sometimes i'll concoct new beverages by adding unexpected ingredients — if you want to spice up your menu, let me know. Often times the result is undrinkable, but that's me in the kitchen!" Her vision was getting more hazy. Hange rubbed her eye, not realising it was due to her smudged spectacles that limited her sight. "And what are your interests?

@hange zoë. He'd never taken the opportunity to delve into the meaning of his name, but it did somewhat intrigue him that she knew the meaning of hers. "Self-prophecy, huh? And you believe in that sort of thing?" Maybe Levi meant "death" because he could make his shop dead within seconds it seemed. He wasn't truthfully a fan of sweets, but she was likely attempting to make him eat his own ty scones as payback which the shorter male felt was fair. He picked it up the best her could, holding it over the plate and taking a small bite. It wasn't necessarily the tastiest, but it would suffice.

"Spectacles have nothin' to do with it." He made sure to carefully collect the crumbs from the scone on the plate, not liking the dusty feeling it left on his fingers. The shops owners arms crossed over his chest once again. "I just have a feeling is all... Tall, lively people like you always have nerdy interests." His was tea and squishy stuffed animals.

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@levi ackerman. Hange chortled at his lack of description that somehow still conveyed his meaning. "Can't deny that! It's in the name; a self-prophecy!" Seeing the two scones in front of her made her gleeful, no matter how deformed they were. "This is an odd shape." She prodded the one nearer to her with her finger. The scone resembled a random blob that was smashed flat, globs spilling at the edges. Still, she lifted the scone to her lips and tenderly bit into it. It was passable. Though hange was no food critic, she still had tastebuds: the scone was overbaked; if the slightly charred crust wasn't a dead giveaway, the crunchiness of it sealed the deal. Still, hange appreciated levi's effort.

Finishing her scone, she slid the plate with the remaining scone on it over to him. "It's not a failure. But you should have one yourself!" Hange wiped her fingers and lips on a napkin instead of dusting the crumbs off onto the floor. Leaning back, she raised a brow. "And what gave that away? Is it because i wear spectacles?" She raised said spectacles on her nose but missed the nosebridge, putting an additional smudge on the mostly fingerprint-covered lens.