❀ sky garden | eunoia

@α jeon jiho『ʟᴇᴏ』 Mika’s shoulders relaxed once he wrapped his arms around her. She needed it, evidently. Apart from dealing with this there was so much on her plate already just to forget or maybe even feel something to get the day over with. His warmth was she something she truly missed and hoped that wouldn’t get away so quickly. She gently shook her head whilst he spoke, quietly wrapping her arms around his waist accepting that it wouldn’t it be so bad to reciprocate it—he most likely needed it too. “I know, i know.. I’m sorry. Really I am. I thought it was the right thing to do. I knew how important it was for you, your career.” She said, not realizing that tears were already falling down her cheeks until he pulled away to look at her. He hadn’t looked at her like in a while, it was disarming but definitely not uncomfortable. Even through the tears, she was getting lost in his gaze.

Of course she did. The regret of her leaving him ate her up for the past few months but asking to take it back would just be too complicated. She wanted nothing more than to take him back, say it was all a mistake or pretend it was all a dream and wake up with him still next to her. His determination to start over was infectious and even the way he’d say her name was hypnotic. She didn’t think he’d want her back after how he’d been towards her, even knowing it was a facade. “You really wanna do this again? With me?” She asked softly, the mention of her nickname made her weak in the knees. Why did he have to be so irresistible? “Ji..” she said before getting cut off with his lips once more but this was sincere, longing even. She then pressed her lips in return, as if to say yes, moving gently against his tiers.

@❀ takahashi mika ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ hearing mika's candid admission about her true feelings evoked a deep sigh from jiho, his heart heavy with a mixture of frustration and longing. "you're so idiot," he murmured softly, almost to himself, his words tinged with both exasperation and affection. as he felt her small figure nestled against him, his arms instinctively encircled her, drawing her close to his chest, seeking solace in her presence.

"why do you persist in fooling yourself like this? can't you see that i'm hurting too?" he whispered, his voice thick with emotion, tears threatening to blur his vision. in that moment, he couldn't help but marvel at the depth of his love for the woman in his arms, despite the pain she unknowingly caused him.

with a gentle touch, he tilted her tear-stained face up to meet his gaze, his fingers tenderly brushing away the evidence of her distress. "stop it," he implored, his voice pleading yet determined. "do you realize how much it pains me to push you away each time i see you? your sorrowful expression, every tear you shed—it hurt me. please, forgive me, mika. can you find it in your heart to trust me once more, to take a chance on us?"

releasing her from his embrace, jiho held her tear-streaked cheeks in his hands, his eyes searching hers for any sign of doubt or hesitation. "let's start over." he proposed, his voice a tender murmur against her lips. "i promise to do everything in my power to protect you, to be the man you deserve. i'll strive to excel in my career, to show you that i can balance my ambitions with my love for you. but you must promise me one thing—stop pushing me away. i ache for you, mi. i miss you with every fiber of my being."

drawing her closer once more, jiho leaned in until their foreheads touched, their breaths mingling in the space between them. and then, with a gentle brush of his lips against hers, he sealed his vow with a kiss.

@α jeon jiho『ʟᴇᴏ』 She sighed with resignation. It hurts knowing that he thinks she doesn't love him when that's all she's done this whole time. She's always loved him even from afar since that was the only thing she could do, even if he had so much hate for her. Breaking up with him, especially with how long they were together wasn't easy. It never meant Mika hated or didn't want to be with him. "How am I driving us further apart? I never hated being with you, Jiho. I just.. I was trying to do the right thing or at least what seemed to be the right thing. I didn't want to hold you back or be the reason why you couldn't reach your full potential. I.. there's nothing or no one to be jealous of."

The kiss on her forehead was a bit disorienting for her. How was he still so affectionate despite how he's been towards her the past few months? It felt wrong but it most certainly felt right at the same time. She looked away from him when she had a chance, gently shaking her head as he continued to speak. It wasn't true, none of it was true. She was willing to take the risk but not at his expense. Not when he was at the top of his career that, sooner or later, he'd be too far up to reach-- not just for her but everyone else. "You know.. for someone smart, you could be stupid sometimes but no, Jiho, I love you so much that I cry myself to sleep filled with regret. I know we could have worked it out but I was scared. Scared, that I wouldn't be able to keep up with you or that I was holding you back from being something great."

"I understand why you're mad and you have every right to be. I wouldn’t even forgive myself for what I did that night.” Another sigh left her lips as she looked up at him, not knowing if it’d be the last time she’d get to see him close again. Admiring every inch of his features, taking note of every minor imperfection that made him unique. Tears quietly ran down her face as all she could do was cry at that moment. She was just as frustrated as he was, she always wondered why she didn’t stay before. Perhaps it was fear? Doubt? Fear that she wouldn’t be good enough for him or doubt that she wouldn’t be able to compete. She was foolish to even think this way about him, he always chose her over anything else. Whatever it was, it bothered Mika enough. She gently leaned her head against his chest, closing her eyes for a moment just trying to relish these few moments she might not have again.

@❀ takahashi mika ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ jiho found himself grappling with a whirlwind of emotions as mika's sudden outbursts caught him off guard. was he being too overwhelming? why did he feel her pain so acutely whenever she lashed out? with a frustrated sigh, he pushed his hair back, trying to gather his thoughts amidst the turmoil.

deep down, jiho understood mika's intentions. she only wanted what she believed was best for him and his career. yet, he couldn't shake off the feeling of resentment towards himself for still desiring her presence in his life despite the chaos she brought.

"i understand your concerns, but do you realize that by doing this, you're only driving us further apart?" jiho's voice trembled with suppressed emotion. "do you hate being with me that much? can't you see how much it hurts me every time i come across those messages in our chat?"

it took him a moment to gather the courage to voice his inner turmoil. "i'm consumed by jealousy. i'm acting this way because i'm jealous. i can't stand the thought of someone else caring for you more than i do."

pushing her gently against the wall, jiho closed the distance between them, his touch tender yet tinged with frustration. with trembling hands, he wiped away the tears that stained her rosy cheeks, pressing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"you taught me what it means to experience a first love, but then you ended it without being willing to take a risk with me," jiho confessed, his voice filled with raw emotion. "that's why i'm so infuriated. it feels as though you don't love me enough to fight for us."

@α jeon jiho『ʟᴇᴏ』 “You know what? yes i did hear myself. i am alone. my family is all the back in Japan, my friends, my relatives. You of all people, should know that and yet what? Because you’re so mad at me, you forgot about that already? I don’t have anyone else to run to about my problems. Sure, I’ve got friends here and there but it’s not like we’ve gone out for drinks and . As for Jiyong, I didn’t even go out with him but here you are believing in the delusion that I did just because he’s flirting with me, is that so bad? i am trying to do right by everyone here. you’re not so clean yourself anyway so why am i the only bad guy here? because i thought about your future? i only wanted what was best for you and still you paint me like i’m the here when it’s been you the whole time, jiho!”

Her bottle finally burst. She was so done with his snarky remarks and whatever else he wanted to throw at her. He was being incredibly childish and she’d never expected this from him. Yes he was hurt but it wasn’t an excuse for him to be nasty towards her. She breathed deeply as that took out a lot out of her, catching her breath and wiping some tears she had no idea were falling already.

“How many more apologies do I have to give until you believe me? Until you give it this whole delusion up? Do you want me to go out with him out spite?? You know i could to it. So what will it be?”

@❀ takahashi mika ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ "pft. did you even hear yourself, miss takahashi?" jiho's smirk widened, the edges of his lips curling with a mix of amusement and bitterness. "you can't even prove yourself. alone, huh? cut that off. it's already painful enough to see you going out with my own member, and you act like nothing is going on between you two. if he were here to witness your antics like this, he would be so disappointed, though. i bet you don't want to hurt him like you hurt me."

his words hung in the air, heavy with accusation and a tinge of sorrow. jiho's gaze softened momentarily as he observed the woman before him, his eyes betraying the turmoil within his heart. he knew he was lashing out, masking his own hurt with sharp words and veiled threats. yet, beneath the facade of indifference, a storm of conflicting emotions raged within him.

another sigh escaped jiho's lips, laden with the weight of unspoken regrets and unacknowledged feelings. he couldn't deny the pang of guilt that gnawed at him, the realization dawning that his actions were driven more by wounded pride than genuine animosity.

@α jeon jiho『ʟᴇᴏ』 Confused and angry as she was, damn his lips still felt good against hers. A hint of yearning was still present within the two of them but surely they would never say it out loud. However, this moment messed with her and how she viewed their situation; on the one hand, he was still hostile to her but he still remembered the small things that only they knew. Broken up or not, she was in a tough spot, and it would be a while before she could get out of it.

As soon as the kiss ended, her eyes were still closed, savoring whatever was left of that moment that was exchanged with hurtful words right after. Mika looked away for a moment and let him talk as it seemed like there was a lot he wanted to say, rolling her eyes when the mention of Jiyong's name turned up once again. He would never let go of that even if it never happened. "He stood me up," she said with a sigh while she stood up properly trying to compose what self-regard she had left. "It was the same night he got into a car crash and it's not date."

"So I don't know what date you keep talking about.. aren't you being a little harsh about that? Saying things like the six years we were together meant nothing to me? do you think I woke up one day and chose to break up with you? if it were up to me we'd still be together but I didn't want to put your career on the line, I was still thinking of you and your future. I've never thought about anything but you, please know that."

Mika knew he wasn't going to. He was still firm on the idea that she was a liar, "I don't have anyone to run to. It's always just been me, alone. I guess you could consider the lion plushie you gave me but that's it. You know I've always been alone. I can't stop you from blaming me or wanting to hurt me but I do hope you consider how I feel still. This isn't you, Jiho. You know this isn't you and I don't know why you're letting it consume you. It's confusing enough that you still care a little but here you are, angry. Sort it out, Jiho before you come at me."

@❀ takahashi mika ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ jiho's eyes widened in disbelief, a surge of hurt and betrayal flooding his senses. the sting of her palm against his skin mirrored the ache in his heart as he struggled to comprehend her actions. in that moment, jiho felt a whirlwind of emotions swirling within him - confusion, anger, and a profound sense of loss. how could she strike him, the one person he thought understood him better than anyone else?

in a moment of desperation, jiho's emotions erupted like a storm, his anguish and resentment pouring out in a torrent of action. with a swift motion, he backed mika against the nearest wall, his grip unyielding yet trembling with the intensity of his feelings. their eyes locked in a silent battle of wills, each seeking answers that seemed to drift further from their grasp. then, in a reckless surge of raw emotion, jiho's lips crashed forcefully against mika's, a turbulent blend of anger and longing propelling him forward.

"you're so foolish, mika," jiho exclaimed, his voice laced with frustration and hurt. "i thought you knew me too well, understood why i'm like this. yet, you keep saying that, but on the other hand, you do things that are completely opposite of what you're saying. how am i supposed to trust you when your actions contradict your words?" he paused, his gaze piercing into hers, searching for any hint of remorse or understanding.

"and jiyong hyung," jiho continued, his tone growing bitter, "he seems to like you so much. you even got a chance to have a date with him. aren't you taking it too far? are you so happy to break my heart like it's nothing? six years of memories and love mean nothing to you compared to that one day he asked you out, huh?" his words were like daggers, each one punctuating the growing chasm between them.

jiho's hand instinctively went to rub his own cheek, still stinging from mika's slap. "whatever it is," he declared, his voice tinged with a mix of anger and resignation, "i will return the same pain that you inflicted on me, doubling it up so you'll realize just how hurtful it was for me to make this decision. maybe jiyong hyung will care for you, i guess, since you'll be running to him for comfort after this." his words hung heavy in the air, a final warning of the consequences of her actions.

@α jeon jiho『ʟᴇᴏ』 “i’m the one making it difficult? wow that’s rich coming from you, jiho.”

Mika had enough at this point but still respected him enough not to give him the reactions he’d been trying to wring out of her. She knew he could be an but hoped he’d be different around her, clearly she wasn’t safe from his jealous wrath. Yanking her wrist from his grip proved a little too hard since he held on well but with a bit of force, it was freed. His eyes felt like they were burning holes into her, something she’d never been too familiar with either. Yes, she did break up with him but not bet he didn’t mean anything to her— he meant so much to her that she didn’t want to hold him back.

The loud slap she’d given him on his cheek echoed through the lounge as the tears brimmed in her eyes. “Don’t you dare say like that! I haven’t been reveling in anything nor have the six years been nothing to me. They were everything to me, you were everything to me but you’re never going to believe me. You’re just gonna keep claiming that i’m lying, like you never knew who i was.” The tears were now falling down her cheeks and there was tightness rising up to her chest as this was uncomfortable but there was no other time than now. “It’s bad enough for you to think I’m the bad guy here but don’t pretend like i’ve never been honest with you. Fine be stubborn all you want, i don’t blame you for that, i get why you are but don’t disrespect me.”

@❀ takahashi mika ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ jiho's frustration simmered beneath the surface as he struggled to contain his emotions. with a quick, almost instinctive movement, he reached out and clasped mika's wrist, halting her progress through the lounge. his grip firm, he guided her towards a secluded corner, ensuring their exchange would remain unseen by prying eyes. releasing her wrist, he let out a sharp exhale, his annoyance palpable in the air between them.

"why are you making this so difficult?" jiho's voice was laced with a mixture of anger and hurt, his words hanging heavy in the charged atmosphere.
"you're the one who created this mess, do you even realize how much pain you've caused? you must be reveling in all the attention you're getting from my bandmates," he retorted bitterly, his jealousy seeping into his tone.

"but what about me? do i mean anything to you anymore, or was our six years together just a fleeting moment for you to discard?"

@α jeon jiho『ʟᴇᴏ』 A familiar scent entered her once silent atmosphere, it was his perfume. ‘It couldn’t be…’ she thought but these were answered once she heard his voice which made her freeze up. He’d been avoiding her as of late and she had been moving out of his way. Mika straightened herself up and wipes the tears that were suddenly coming down her cheeks. It had been a while since she heard his voice, especially directed towards her and this time it had no warmth compared to what she had been accustomed to.

“Oh, Jiho..” Of course the follow up question had to be asked. She never had one to begin with but he doesn’t believe her or doesn’t want to, either way he was so wrong. She cleared and gently shook her head. “No.. I was just about to head home. thought i’d get some air first.” She said with her back still turned against him. Seeing him would only make her heart break even more unless it was through a screen but.. there he was after a long while.

“Anyway, I’ll get going now. Sorry.” She said while grabbing her bag and turning around to walk towards the door and past him so he wouldn’t say anything else. It was bad enough that he still thought she had a date, she wasn’t even ready to do that unlike him.

@❀ takahashi mika ᵐᵃⁿᵃᵍᵉʳ jiho scanned the messages from the chat before sighing out of frustration. '– i hate this,' he grumbled in annoyance at the way his own member was trying to flirt with his ex – not that he minded about it anyways. he stuffed his phone inside his pocket and made his way out of the practice room, storming onto the rooftop, a place where he could calm himself down.

he didn't know if it was a good thing or not – the way he entered the sky lounge, his steps got halted when he stumbled upon the female that he used to love. was she crying? his heart skipped a beat at the sight of her, but his cold demeanor took control over his body as he walked towards her nonchalantly, with a small smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

"what are you doing here? thought you were on a date?" he asked, of course, to bait her emotion."

@α jeon jiho『ʟᴇᴏ』 The cool night air gently kissed her face, drying her tear stains as well-- it was a rough day. Mika who was usually so put together also had her breaking point but also made sure it wasn't so obvious unlike at home, where she was still suffering from endless nights of tears and despair. It was still so fresh and he was still so angry with her but it's not like she could do anything about it. She couldn't blame him either, six years were gone in the blink of an eye; she would be upset too.

With a deep sigh, she wiped her tears and looked out into the city while getting lost in her thoughts to mute out the world. If things were up to her, she never would have done it even if their careers would be at risk. She could only hope he would realize it one day or give her a chance to be heard. For now, there was nothing to do but take it. She lowered her head with another sigh, trying her best not to shed any more tears until she could return home. Not here, not while he's here.