hurtful comments and actions.

as someone who has been on this site for many years, i've come across more than my fair share of negative and hurtful comments directed both towards me and towards others. initially, i was one to immediately jump to the conclusion and belief that whoever had said or done something i considered mean or hurtful was a terrible person and deserved for the absolute worse things in life to happen to them. i felt this way for a while, but then, i really started to think a bit deeper about it. i truly believe, that at one point or another, we have all said things that can be considered mean or hurtful to someone else..  and of course, most of us believe that despite intentionally saying things we know will hurt others, we're still good people. so what is it that makes the difference between us saying hurtful things to to others and still thinking we're good people, yet someone else being a bad person when they do the same? i can honestly say that  a lot of the times where i may have said something mean, i did so due to things going on in my life that caused me to feel bitter and spiteful. in turn, i went and tried to make others feel the way i was feeling. in my mind, it wasn't fair that i was having to struggle and suffer so much, so i should make others feel the same way or at least somewhat similar to how i'm feeling. though i often did feel regretful and remorseful for the things i had said or done afterwards, once i'd had more life issues and negative feelings, i'd repeat what i'd done and it became a vicious cycle.

thankfully, i eventually learned that i shouldn't subject others to the negative things happening in my life and turned to much better outlets  for my emotions. while i did purposely and intentionally try to hurt others with words and actions, since i have since learned that it's not what should be done and am remorseful for my actions, i don't consider myself to be a bad person. now, i know that everyone who acts that way doesn't feel remorse for what they've done or realize that they shouldn't do the things that they do. and obviously, everyone that does act that way doesn't neccesarily have things going on in their life that would cause them to act that way. some people unfortunately just are naturally that way or become that way for whatever reason.  but, shouldn't we maybe think about what might be causing someone to act a certain way and do certain things instead of just immeditaely jumping to the conclusion that they're 'a bad person', 'terrible', 'scum', 'a pos', 'deserve to burn/rot in hell', etc.  as well as maybe try to have a genuine conversation with them about how they're acting and what they're saying? obviously, some people aren't going to be open to that and are going to continue believing and doing what they want on both ends.  but couldn't we at least try? i also want to point out that while some things may come off with the intention of being mean, that may not actually be the case and so having a conversation could help sort things out. humans are complex beings and not everything is as black and white as we'd like it to be.  i know a lot of people on here may not agree with most of this blog, and i didn't make this in an attempt to start drama or go after a specific person. this is just something i've been thinking about for a while seeing how this site has changed so much over the years. but i am curious about what some of you think as well.