❁ park

@k. jiwon tw: mentions of trauma, abuse all that sad

/i'm not supposed to be here, none of us lost children who crossed over to the other side are ever meant to return, but here i am
/i have my personal prices to pay for being able to do this much but that's between me and the entity that keeps me under its claws
/what do i do with this expensive time? i spend it revisiting the ghosts of my past of course, crossing over into the ordinary world that knows nothing of the world just beyond
/today is the same, my hoody pulled up over my head, hands in my pockets as i let my feet take me along a familiar route
/my chest aches the closer i get, i hate it and it leaves a taste of blood in my mouth, phantom pains and all that from a life that's no longer mine
/my parents if you could call them that are the same, sold out druggies that will do anything for the next hit, selling their own son and last shreds of morality included
/this building i look into was never home, just four walls, a prison i've never really escaped and i watch as my parents are so out of it on their current kick they don't even realise i'm here
/i leave earlier than usual when i hear someone coming though, noticing a figure coming along and i watch from the shadows, rainfall masking the sound of my movements
/you try to talk to them but you get nothing in return, wondering why you're bothering and don't tell me its just because you're a good cop either, judging from your uniform
/listening in i hear you trying to ask them questions, you may as well be talking to a brick wall and i'm about to leave it at that when i hear you say my name - a name no one is meant to remember
/it triggers the one you're talking to and sends them into a fit, pushing you away and telling you to leave, myself watching and stuck on what to do
/its in that moment of hesitation you turn and see me, or at least glimpse my presence but i'm off and out of there immediately
/rushing away i leave you behind while i go, traversing the wet city streets with ease until we come to an impasse, myself dangerously jumping in front of a train to get away
/when the train passes i'm standing on the other side of the tracks you no doubt expected to see me flattened into
/but there i stand, the train leaving us and i stare at you from beneath my hood for a time, letting you see my face - the face of a dead man and giving you just one warning
drop it... before you go disappearing too