⁝ kim manor.

@❃ song jinye Hyunji glanced up from her needlework, a warm smile gracing her lips as she welcomed her dear friend. "Oh, Jinye, you're never a bother," she reassured with genuine warmth in her voice. "In fact, your visit is a delightful surprise. It's always a pleasure to have you here."

Setting aside her sewing for a moment, Hyunji motioned for one of her maids to bring tea for both of them. As the fragrant aroma of freshly brewed tea filled the room, she settled back into her seat, ready to catch up with Jinye.

"I've been well, thank you," Hyunji replied, her tone cheerful. "And as for something interesting, well, I do have a bit of tea to spill," she added with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. Leaning in closer, she lowered her voice slightly, as if sharing a secret between friends.

"I had an encounter with Jang Ilwoo in the on my way to the marketplace." Hyunji began, her expression tinged with excitement. "Well, it seems fate has a way of bringing us together. Do you know my friend, Jang Hyukjae? He was his older brother." She paused for a moment, allowing the anticipation to build before continuing.

"It was a crazy encounter, bandits almost took my supplies but luckily, Ilwoo was there to shoo away the bandits," she revealed, her voice tinged with excitement. "And let's just say, things got quite interesting between us." Hyunji couldn't help but smirk, her mind filled with memories of their encounter and the undeniable chemistry that had sparked between them.

"But enough about me," she said, redirecting the conversation back to her friend. "What about you, Jinye? Any exciting news or gossip from the social scene?" Then she was reminded of what happened to her friend in front of her. "Ah, unnie. I heard you left your home, is it true? Why did you left?"

@❀ kim hyunji Upon the sight of her dear friend, Jinye offered a gentle and familiar smile. She was not surprised to see the young girl busying herself with her work as various silks and cottons laid about in the room. As sunlight filtered in through the windows, it created a kaleidoscope of colors on the walls that looked like a rainbow after a sudden downpour.

Jinye mused, “it is wonderful to see you too, Hyunji. My, look at all of these beautiful garments,” she admired, noting each one more distinct from the last. “They’re all certainly very beautiful as expected of your talent and your attention to detail, my friend.”

She took a seat on an empty chair opposite the other, watching as Hyunji dived into her needlework with precision and care. Jinye had not no talent for such work, yet she had not been the kind to have paid attention during embroidery lessons either from a young age. However, she certainly knew that the young girl had a marvelous talent for her creations, and her hanbok designs were all the talk amongst the ton.

“I’m not bothering you, am I?” She questioned, “I’m sorry for suddenly coming to visit without notice.”

Jinye didn’t want to dwell too much as to why she had suddenly come to visit, however, she asked, “but I did want to check in on you. How have you been lately, my friend? Besides work, has anything interesting happened these days?”

@✿ song jinye The soft rustle of fabric filled the air as Hyunji meticulously stitched together the delicate pieces of silk, her nimble fingers moving with practiced precision. The room was bathed in the warm glow of lantern light, casting a gentle ambiance over the workspace where Hyunji worked tirelessly on her latest creations.

As she focused intently on her task, the door to her room creaked open, and two of her maids entered, their presence announced by the soft swish of their hanboks. Hyunji glanced up from her work, a faint smile gracing her lips as she greeted them.

"Is something the matter?" she inquired, setting aside her needle and thread. Her maids exchanged a quick glance before one of them stepped forward, a note of excitement in her voice.

"Lady Jinye has arrived, my Lady," she announced, her eyes alight with anticipation. "She requests an audience with you."

Hyunji's eyebrows lifted in surprise at the news. Lady Jinye was a close friend of hers, and they often exchanged visits to catch up on the latest gossip and share stories of their respective endeavors. It had been some time since their last meeting, and Hyunji found herself eager to reconnect with her friend.

"Thank you for letting me know," she replied with a nod, rising from her seat and smoothing out the wrinkles in her hanbok. "Please, show her in."

Her maids bowed respectfully before leaving the room to fetch Lady Jinye. As Hyunji waited, she couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement building within her. Lady Jinye was always a welcome presence, and Hyunji looked forward to the opportunity to share her latest designs and catch up on the latest news from the court.

Moments later, the door opened once more, and Lady Jinye entered the room, her hanbok adorned with intricate embroidery that sparkled in the lantern light. Her presence brought with it an air of elegance and refinement, and Hyunji greeted her warmly, a genuine smile lighting up her features.

"Lady Jinye, it's wonderful to see you," Hyunji exclaimed, stepping forward to embrace her friend. "Please, come in and make yourself comfortable. I was just working on some new hanboks that I plan to release in the next few weeks. I'd love to hear your thoughts."

@❀ kim byungjun [h] byungjun’s confusion only brought another layer of grief to the wave of emotions that had been crashing over him like a marathon of tsunamis that just would not stop. though relations like these were not completely uncommon, how could they not tell him about how they were related? it all sounded ridiculous to seojun. family kidnapping family. family forcing family into marriage with family.

seojun’s stomach turned at the wickedness of their maternal side. both sides of their family were rotten. if the tree they came from is bad, are they all bad apples? in the case that they had to run from their father, seeking solace on their mother’s side was not an option anymore.

they were trapped. all of his siblings were trapped, and it pained him that his older brother came back home, expecting freedom, when the kim manor was just a prison in disguise.

“byungjun,” seojun spoke softly, placing a comforting hand on his older brother’s shoulder. “our mother’s maiden name is yu huijeong. yu jiyoo is her niece and our cousin. we met her when we were younger, if i recall correctly.” he hoped that his explanations were not too overwhelming to process, but who was he kidding? even seojun is still struggling to process their mother’s death. how do you cope with knowing that you have been held captive by your own family? "i didn't like jiyoo." he mumbled under his breath.

seojun could not be angry at byungjun. all those years of cursing at him, blaming him for his father’s abusive treatment towards him—it made the younger male feel awful. none of it was his brother’s fault.

“are they involved in ceramics? there is only one yu clan in joseon that are ceramists.” he paused, taking his hand from byungjun’s shoulder and bringing it back to his side. “we are a product of an attempt to calm the tensions between the families. and clearly, it failed.” seojun should have known that their home would eventually transform into a toxic place. their parents' marriage was devoid of love. so, the possibility of having love for the product of that loveless marriage was low, though their mother treasured her children very much. it was their father that was the main problem.

seojun’s expression hardened, his jaw tightening as he searched his oldest brother’s eyes for any signs of recognition of the information he had just divulged. exactly what did they do to him?

"we should tell father about this. maybe he would know what to do. he had been convinced that you ran from home all this time." seojun's breath hitched at the sentence he knew he would eventually have to say. it still hurt to think of her. "our mother left to find you, but our father did not believe that. she never came back. but i want to assure you, this is all not your fault, byungjun. i know this is a lot to process—i just want you to be aware of that...in the case that when you meet him...well...kim minjun has a bad temper."

@❀ kim seojun byungjun listened intently to seojun’s words, each sentence adding to the confusion swirling inside him. memories he couldn’t quite grasp at tugged at the edges of his consciousness, leaving him feeling unsettled and lost. seojun’s mention of their mother’s beauty struck a chord within him, but he couldn’t recall her face or the sound of her voice. the idea that he might resemble his brother more than their mother only added to his sense of disconnection from his past. his struggle with the sense of having no memory of his mother weighed heavily on him, especially learning of her passing. as his brother spoke of her beauty and their possible resemblance, he felt a deep pang of regret and sorrow. “I’m sorry,” he began, his voice barely above a whisper, “I wish I could remember her, but it’s like trying to grasp at smoke.” the thought that his mind had blocked off her features, leaving him with nothing but a voice where memories should be, filled him with a profound sense of loss.

he thought of the sketch of her face that seojun mentioned, wondering why his father would destry such a precious memento. the idea that he had no recollection of his mother, the person who should have been one of the most important figures in his life, left him feeling adrift, like a ship without a compass. the fact that he couldn’t mourn her properly, couldn’t even remember her face, made him feel like a stranger in his own life. he wanted to mourn her, to grieve for the mother he barely knew, but it felt like trying to mourn a shadow.

byungjun’s gaze drifted to the door of their home, where memories of his mother should have been waiting for him. instead, there was nothing but a blank space, a void that seemed to grow larger with each passing moment. he felt like a ghost, haunting the halls of his own home, searching for something he couldn’t name.

his mind nagged at him, repeating the sentence spoken: “that is if your father had not destroyed it already,” emphasis on /your/. each word added a new layer of confusion and disbelief to the already tumultuous situation. his brother’s slip-up about his father struck a nerve, it was a detail that didn’t quite fit, hinting at a deeper truth he had yet to uncover. perhaps he would inquire about this matter at another time, because the moment his lips parted to ask the question what it meant, byungjun was instead hit with the revelation of the yu family – the rivalry between the two families unheard of by the male. he felt a surge of anger upon learning this fact, the rivalry must have been intense, but had it been too intense for his siblings to not know where he had been all this time? that he slept at their house, just around the corner, for years and years?

byungjun’s mind reeled at the revelation that his ex-fiancee was their cousin. it was a detail that seemed too absurd to be true, and he couldn’t help but feel a sense of denial creeping in. “seojun, you must be confused,” he said, his voice tinged with disbelief as his gaze hardened. “how could ji-yoo be our cousin? it doesn’t make any sense.” although he inwardly felt a rollercoaster of emotions, his visage remained serious and stoic, only the corners of his lips upturning into a faint yet bewildered smile. “you must have them confused with someone else.” he searched his brother’s face for any sign that he was joking, but the seriousness of his expression told him otherwise. the idea that he had been engaged to a cousin was too much to comprehend, and he struggled to accept it as reality.

@✿ kim eunha seojun blinked back tears, his tense body relaxing upon seeing eunha’s face. he was relieved to have escaped his nightmare, but now, he was met with a tricky situation. what was eunha doing in his room? who let her in through the gates? he prayed that it was not minjun who greeted her, even though he knew his father would not touch a single hair on eunha’s head. eunha was part of the world that minjun longed to join: yangban, the most elite, and he would not dare ruin his chances to climb the social ladder. still, the thought of his father laying his filthy eyes on her made him sick.

“i apologize for the state of my room. i…have not gotten the chance to tidy it up, but it’s okay. i’m sorry to have worried you.” seojun mirrored her frown, affectionately patting her head with a hand. his touch was light, still weak from his injuries, but he did not want to see eunha in his poor condition.

the only thing he could do now was to appear as healthy as possible for her. with his limited mobility, he was at eunha’s mercy if she were to try to dig deeper into his current situation. “i’m fine, just a couple of bruises,” he fibbed, feeling guilty as soon as the lie leaves his lips. just like that, he was falling back into his old ways. “war has tired me out like you would not believe, but by the grace of the heavens, i am still here, and now, you’re here with me. it feels as if my birthday had come early.”

gently, he slipped his hand out from eunha’s hold. “please, sit, i’m sure you are tired from traveling.” with a soft smile, seojun reached over to move a chair closer to eunha’s form, his eye twitching ever so slightly in pain, but in doing so, his blanket slips from his leg, partially revealing his bandages. in an instant, his heart dropped to the floor and with one swift move, he scrambled to fix the blanket with his free hand, silently hoping that eunha did not catch a glimpse of what he had kept hidden from her sight.

@❀ kim byungjun “our mother was very beautiful, but i am sorry to say that i do not resemble her very much—i think hyunjun bears a better resemblance to her, but i cannot say for certain. i have seen her recently, but my mind has blocked off her features from my memory. we might have a sketch of her face lying around our home, that is if your father had not destroyed it already.” seojun bit his lip after realizing his slip-up, but it was true. minjun was byungjun’s father, not his own. hoping that his brother would brush over his word choice he quickly diverted his attention to the officer. it was far too much for byungjun to have to explain his place as the illegitimate son of their family. he had never even disclosed it to hyunjun and hyunji, but seojun suspected they might have an inkling of the truth after all of the fights he and minjun had gone through. sound travels through walls.

“byungjun was engaged? that’s crazy. i have never heard of our parents’ arranging a marriage for him.” the wrinkles etched between seojun’s deepened as the officer’s words have only brought more confusion onto the jungin. the name that came out of the officer’s mouth made his story even more unbelievable. he glanced at his brother, hoping that this tale was just a prank, a joke, and nothing more, but byungjun was nowhere close to cracking a smile.

seojun’s heart dropped down to the deepest pit of his stomach. all the time, his mother’s family knew the whereabouts of byungjun. they are as good as murderers. their dear mother, the eldest daughter of the yu household, left to find byungjun, and she came back to their home, 10 years later, in a wooden box, reduced to ash. the whole thing made seojun’s blood boil. marrying their insufferable father did little to ease their rivalry after all.

“of course, i know the yu family. they are our family’s greatest rival—although, i must add, the competition has not been too great these days, it seems to me that we have far exceeded their artistry, “ he stopped himself from running off on a tangent.

seojun turned to byungjun, the younger male’s intense gaze locking onto the older’s. “but that’s not the point. byungjun, yu jiyoo is our cousin. from our maternal side.” saying the truth out loud did little to calm seojun’s blood. it had the exact opposite effect on him.

glancing down at his hands, seojun found his fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles had turned pure white. with a heavy exhale, he relaxed his hands, revealing that his short nails managed to break his skin, boring bright red, crescent-shaped marks into his palms.

the yu family had to pay for this.
for what they had done to his brother.
for all the suffering they had caused him to go through.
for being a reason why they had to grow up without their mother.

“my father has never approved an engagement with this family. if anything, officer, he would be against it.”

@✿ jin jaekyung byungjun’s eyes fluttered open for a second time as jaekyung stirred, and he’s once again greeted by the soft morning light filtering through the windows. the room held the telltale signs of a night veiled in a fog of alcohol – a silent witness to shared moments and choices. jaekyung, still drowsy, shifted in his mbrace, oblivious to the intricate web of thoughts that stirred within byungjun.

“what time is it?” he heard jaekyung mumble, who was soon reaching to soothe his forehead, and byungjun couldn’t escape the subtle scent of regret that began to linger in the air. as confusion etched itself on byungjun’s features, he observed jaekyung grappling with an unexpected wave of remorse. however, he found himself navigating a different emotional landscape – not regret, but a calm acceptance, a recognition of the complexity inherent in human connections.

“jaekyung, i…” byungjun begain, his voice carrying a composed yet gentle tone. he paused, choosing his words carefully, aiming to convey understanding without betraying the lack of regret he felt. “these things happen, jaekyung,” he continued, acknowledging the intricacies of the human experience. the room, once a sanctuary, now bore witness to the aftermath of a night that blurred lines. he found himself caught in the midst of unspoken questions, his gaze steady as he navigated the evolving dynamics. “I didn’t anticipate…this,” he admitted, allowing a trace of vulnerability to surface. the shared confusion lingered, and byungjun, while not regretful, recognized the uncharted territory they found themselves in.

as jaekyung pushed himself up, the air crackled with unspoken tension, leaving them to navigate the shifting currents of a friendship altered by an unexpected twist. “hey – it’s okay, we can figure this out together.” he added, his voice a steady anchor in the uncertain waters they now sailed. beneath byungjun’s composed exterior, a subtle ache began to linger. the morning light painted the room with a tender glow, yet within him, a conflicting storm brewed. while the night may have folded without a trace of regret, a deeper complexity resonated.

unbeknownst to jaekyung, byungjun had found himself entangled in a tapestry of emotions that transcended the boundaries of their shared night. he grappled with an unspoken truth – the budding feelings he had started to harbor for jaekyung. the realization of their physical intimacy as a mistake weighed heavy on byungjun’s heart, leaving him questioning how he could reconcile these emotions with the evolving dynamics of their friendship. the room, once a haven of shared moments, now echoed with the silent lament of a heart caught in the crosscurrents of passion and uncertainty.

“you… this was a mistake to you?” he quietly inquired with his eyebrows gently furrowing, arms tense beneath the weight of his body as he, too, pushes himself up. “was this a mistake to you? I thought… was I the only one feeling the way that I am feeling now?”

@❀ kim byungjun As the morning light flitered through the windows of byunjun’s room, the young male slowly stirred from his deep slumber, his mind foggy and his body heavy from the remnants of alcohol. jaekyung barely has his eyes open as he finds himself leaning towards the warmth that envelopes him.

sober was a word long lost in the young owner’s dictionary. Jaekyung had lost count of the nights he spent in the haze of the alcohol, a faithful companionship he had fostered during the years he spent longing on someone and getting through the days, it was a companion that numb his thoughts and sorrow, each sip a moment of respite from unfortunate events that plagued his mind.

the previous night was no different, whilst he had no intention to visit sook, he found his own two feet bringing him to hanbamman’s rival establishment, a far too familiar route he knew by the back of his hand. instead of catching sight of a the familiar madame of sook, jaekyung finds himself in the company of his rather good friend, kim byunjun.

His friend’s room is bathed in a warm glow of the late morning when jaekyung decides it’s actually time to finally wake up. He releases a yawn, a hand moving to his eyes to give them a gentle rub before peeking them open and jaekyung doesn’t falter a single bit when he catches sight of byunjun’s figure, in fact, he does the opposite, allowing his gaze to linger on his friend’s bare body. “what time is it..?” he murmurs softly, rubbing his own forehead slowly.

Despite his aching head, memories of last night comes rushing back to him, the scattered bottles all over the floors of sook, byunjun’s hands around his waist, supporting him back to his humble abode, the taste of alcohol that lingered on their lips that they shared and the night fuelled by nothing but sheer passion.

Frolicking around was not uncommon for jaekyung, but byungjun, sweet byungjun was seojun’s brother and a dear friend, surely this was wrong, wasn’t it? “oh god, byunjun.. hyung.” jaekyung’s voice hoarse, throat parched as he pushes himself up to lean against the wall. “i am so sorry, this is a mess. I shouldn’t have, we shouldn’t have.”

@❀ kim seojun Looking around the room, the space seemed to echo the very essence of the man she cared so deeply for. Porcelain jars, both completed works of art and those in various stages of creation, adorned shelves and surfaces, creating a symphony of forms and textures. The room held a unique aroma, a blend of clay, paint, and the unmistakable scent of creativity. Utensils scattered across tables and counters told the tale of an artist's labor—the tools of Seojun's trade lay in calculated disarray. Brushes, carving tools, and molds were carefully arranged, each with its own story of creation and expression.

For nearly three years of their first attempt at courtship, she had never ventured into this sacred space. The subject of his family, particularly his strained relationship with his father, seldom arose in their conversations. Only in the rare moments when the moon hung high and emotions ran deep did glimpses of his familial pain surface.

Today, though, she was here. The room spoke volumes about Seojun, a testament to his passion, his struggles, and the artistry that defined him. Facing the reality of his family struck Eunha, knowing the man who had stolen her heart suffered within these very walls. His father, a figure shrouded in dark tales of abuse, lurked in her mind as she took in the traces of Seojun's pain and resilience. A newfound determination surged within her—to protect, to heal, and to be the support Seojun had never truly known.

Lost in her contemplation, Eunha was stirred by a squeeze of her hand. Seojun, still caught in the clutches of a restless slumber, exhibited signs of inner turmoil. As his wide, frantic eyes met hers upon waking, Eunha's expression softened with concern. "Hey, hey, it's okay," her voice, a soothing melody, sought to anchor him in the present. "It's just me, Seojun. I'm here."

Recognition dawned in his eyes, and Eunha sighed internally with relief. “Sorry for intruding on your room,” a frown etched on her face, "I was waiting for you after the war, and when I read your letter, it felt like something was wrong. You must be hurt somewhere. How bad is it?"

@✿ jin jaekyung it was not often that byungjun was granted a good night’s sleep, instead often awoken throughout the night with nightmares that felt oddly close to a memory. and yet, each of them followed an evaluation from the concerned male who couldn’t quite place the familiarity of the fear nor a place in his own timeline of events for the so-called memory. then again, things have felt quite strange and out of place as of late since his return to hanseong.

all of this to be said, a good night’s sleep was quite rare and incredibly treasured when it was granted to him. rest assured it wouldn’t be taken for granted, as his body often clung to the slumber with desperation for more and more and until the birds’ songs gently awaken him. the male stirs with a quiet and disapproving moan, as if to curse himself for his own awakening. it was a surprisingly intricate scene – he found comfort upon his back with an arm thrown over the edge of his bed and the other trapped beneath the weight of something that he couldn’t make out. a sheet is messily twisted over his body, flowing between his legs and partially covering his upper body. the arm slung over the edge of the bed raises, tips of his fingers rubbing at his puffy eyes as they squint in attempt to adjust to the morning light.

he’s got no clothes on, a testament to the events of the night. instead of clinging to his body, fabric that not only makes up his clothes are scattered on the wooden floors – his gaze follows the trail of clothing on the floor, the doorknobs and furniture, furniture that was also slightly displaced, and finally, a male partially draped over the remainder of his own body and trapping his own arm beneath the weight of his neck. his eyebrows furrow as he attempted to recall the events of the hours prior and instead was greeted with an uninvited, sharp pain in his head. “ouch.” he whispers, drawing his free hand up once again to rub at his eyes once again. great, he thinks to himself, hungover.

in the same moment that byungjun attempted to self-medicate and talk down the pounding headache, memories of their night together come in flashbacks – fingertips tracing his scars, his lips lingering over untainted flesh not belonging to himself, nails digging into soft flesh, fingers tugging at disheveled strands, never-ending laughter and, last but not least, an insatiable hunger fabricated in the form of immense passion. his palm lowers against his cheek and he stares at the ceiling, going through the flashbacks repetitively in attempt to tie it all together into a memory that he never wanted to forget.

he looks back at jaekyung, his closest friend, and overlooks his sleeping figure; who looked so peaceful and fragile in this moment – so much so, that byungjun was afraid he would shatter if he would touch him, as if he were a fragile piece of glass. but as the tips of his fingers rest upon the arm draped over his chest, he’s relieved to see him remain in one piece. and so on, as his hand continues to elevate until his fingers gently caress his jaw and cheek, eyes tracing the features of his face.

@❀ kim seojun "please, do not feel as if you should apologize to me. you have caused no fright, but, i do feel the need to apologize for the disappointment i may have caused you." almost apologetic to himself, there is more anger festered than sadness. as he stood before his look-alike brother, byungjun continued to question how he could not remember. even now, looking eye to eye with seojun, he sifted through the folders of his battered memory in search for an ounce of familiarity, even an idea of a memory; every attempt was a fail but how? so certain that he had run away from this exact family ten years ago, and yet without a single reason to believe it.

the mention of their mother's recent passing is accompanied by an unforgiving pang of guilt, because to him, their mother was like a blank book that sat on a shelf - byungjun had knowledge of it's presence, yet the contents are unreadable by nature. "i am very sorry to hear about the loss of yo-- our mother. if you are any reflection of her, i am certain she would be very proud." his head tilted as he observed seojun, taking note of the look on his visage as he mentioned his mother. it must have still been very fresh, but of course, considering the quick mention of the timeline. the question of what happened resided along the tip of his tongue, prepared to be spoken, but the younger male continued.

his gaze shifted to the door of the home once more upon mention of their father, and for the first time, byungjun felt unsettled.

"i--"

"seojun," the officer interrupted byungjun with a side-eyed glance and he was grateful for it, because what /did/ happen? "byungjun is very set on the story that everyone believed to be true initially, that he ran. however, i must also disclose to you that he is supposedly engaged." he pauses to take a deep breath, as if preparing to make a revelation that would supposedly change the world. "supposedly engaged to ji-yoo. /yu/ ji-yoo."

any other day, byungjun would have acted like a man and stood for not only himself but his family as well, but he remained poised and stood with a posture so straight that almost made him look stiff. this was not any other day, nor any other situation. something about this picture was wrong, and yet he couldn't understand it. actually, so many things were wrong - his own lack of memory, the officer's emphasis on his (ex) fiancé's last name, his steadfast belief in the story that he ran from home and from his family.

he turns his head to look at his younger brother in search of some kind of response, if not vocally then some kind of reaction in his eyes or his face. something, something to validate his feelings of confusion and concern. "is there - do you know the yu's?"

[post deleted by owner]

@❀ kim byungjun as he held his brother within his embrace, the lack of reciprocation caused his heart to drop to his stomach. what happened? they used to be so close. even with the resentment he harbored for his brother after all these years because of the events that followed after byungjun disappearance, seojun still felt compelled to greet his brother with open arms. there must have been something seriously wrong.

seojun’s arms loosened the moment his suspicions were confirmed by byungjun’s sudden apology. the younger male pulled back, looking into his brother's eyes more intently this time. not a flicker of recognition resided in the male’s gaze. his shoulders, once filled with hope, dropped in defeat. “he does not what?” he looked to the officer, desperate for an explanation as reflected in the urgent tone in his voice.

“byungjun, it’s okay.” seojun softened, forcing a tight-lipped smile on his face. he tried hard to hide his disappointment, but it was impossible. he waited for ten years for this moment. would they ever get his old brother back? or has he been long gone like all his fond memories with his mother?

“i apologize if frightened you with my sudden actions, i just—we all missed you.” he took a deep breath, hoping to set a better impression on byungjun. “i’m kim seojun, the youngest son of our family. you have another younger brother, hyunjun. the youngest is the only daughter, hyunji. it seems like these two are not home right now.” seojun paused, the dread of talking about their parents setting in.

“yu—i mean kim huijeong was our mother. she passed not too long ago. i’m sorry that you won’t be able to meet her," the ceramist's heart ached at the mention of their late mother. "but our father is still here, his name is kim minjun.” seojun could not imagine his father’s reaction to his eldest coming home, nor was he prepared to witness it.

“i could introduce you to him if you’d like. i think he’s home, but before that. what happened?”

@✿ kim eunha [tw: blade, blood]

“where’s your mother?” minjun’s deep voice spoke out from the darkness that swallowed the young boy. dazed, seojun groaned in response, wishing to get a few more minutes of sleep. he was oblivious to the gravity of the situation that he was in. the metallic sound of a sword unsheathing rang through his ears, and in an instant, seojun snapped his eyes open.

pointed at his neck was the tip of a sharp blade. its cold steel looked warm against the flickering flame of the lantern beside him. his father must have brought it into the room. minjun loomed over him, his intense stare boring holes into the thirteen-year-old boy. they were filled with something sinister that he had never seen before. it was murderous intent.

“father?” seojun whispered to the man in disbelief, simultaneously paralyzed in fear. minjun scoffed, the tip of his blade touching the boy’s neck ever so slightly. “father? i’m not your father. you’re not my son and you will never be. i know what you made your mother do.” seojun began to sweat, swallowing hard as he tried to reason with his father, who had been visibly blinded with rage. “i-i don’t know what you’re talking abou—“ before the teen could even finish his sentence, a swooshing sound cut through the air and he suddenly lost his voice. a dreaded warmth began to trickle from seojun’s neck. then, it began to gush. seojun clutched at his neck in a futile attempt to stop the bleeding, helplessly watching his father ready his bloodstained sword for another blow.

the feeling of warmth, this time, a comforting one, enveloping his hand ripped seojun from his recurring nightmare. he woke up in a cold sweat, his chest rising and falling rapidly as his heart pounded at a heightened pace. the male was disoriented, but the ache from his right leg pulled him back to his senses like a bucket of ice-cold water spilling on him.

it did not take long for seojun to notice the beautiful woman who had found herself in his room. at first, he thought he was hallucinating, seeing kim eunha by his side again. his eyes softened at her figure as his lips managed a weak smile just for her. “eunha,” seojun spoke out to her gently, “what are you doing here?”

@❀ kim hyunji Jinye watched Hyunji's hands move skillfully as the younger girl continued her stitching, each thread weaving a story of love and heartache. As Hyunji confessed about her past lover, a wave of empathy tugged at Jinye's heart. The barriers between romances of different social classes were all too familiar, and it was a shared burden that Jinye could understood very well.

The mention of a yangban lover had obstacles that were not easily abled to be overcome due to the weight of societal expectations which often cast shadows on unions of romantic relationships. She knew that love should unite people, not divide them.

"I'm sorry, Hyunji," Jinye whispered, her voice filled with genuine concern. "I can only imagine the pain you've endured." She reached out, gently placing a comforting hand on Hyunji's shoulder. "But you're not alone. I'm here for you, and I want to help in any way I can."

As she spoke, she couldn't help but wonder about the identity of Hyunji's former lover, the yangban who had left an indelible mark on her heart. A flicker of curiosity danced in Jinye's eyes, and a determination to be a friend and ally to Hyunji burned within her.

"Hyunji," Jinye continued, her eyes searching Hyunji's for a glimpse of hope. "Is there anything I can do to help you? Love should not be hidden away in the shadows. I'm deeply appalled that your lover would do this to you." With a deep breath, she asked, "is it alright to share this person's name with me?"

@✿ song jinye hyunji's expression had betrayed the feelings that lingered within her heart, she looked at jinye and nodded a bit. "i do have special someone... or was..." she looked down as she keep on stitching the threads that tied two fabrics together. "you may have not know but... i used to have a lover... a yangban." she told her as she looked back at jinye, "and he's... he... already had someone with him." she told her.

@❀ kim seojun there were a few disruptions to the silence that byungjun wished for.

the first was the beating of his own heart. it felt like his heart resided in his skull instead of his brain, beats vibrating and echoing off of the bones and to his ears with each and every contraction of the strained muscle. what would have brought him peace in this moment may have been the songs of the birds above, the hums of the hummingbirds and whistling of the wind. if it weren't for his heart, he could focus in on a nearby creek and the way the water slipped down the trenches and through the rocks happily at home in the warmth of the sand.

the second distraction was the rambling officer with him, quietly urging him to enter the doors of the manor to see the family that had long-awaited his return. and then lastly, another distraction, a voice that sent shivers down byungjun's entirety. goosebumps freckled his flesh as if the voice was familiar, as if it had visited in many of his nightmares and somehow provided peace. and yet, turning his head to look at the owner of the voice, he is met with many feelings of unfamiliarity. his own hand elevates to shield his eyes from the burning sun, glancing at the ground where the rag had fallen, and then where shoe prints begin imprinting the dirt and leaving a trail to himself.

for a split second, he picks out the mark beneath the other male's eye and his own brows crease in confusion, especially as his body is pulled into an unforgiving embrace, the first he had experienced aside from his wives. for a moment, his arms are held outward at his side, almost an attempt to not touch the other male. he shifts his gaze to the officer who is smiling, hand touched to his heart with a coo. there's an urge to return the embrace and to give in, even though he was known for not being a fan of physical touch. and so he does, lowering his arms to return the embrace. the words echo in his head, 'hyung, you're back'. it must have been his brother- younger, he would assume.

"i... i'm sorry," he begins, not necessarily knowing how to navigate the explanation residing atop his tongue. he looks back towards the officer, who reaches out to press a hand upon seojun's shoulder. "byungjun is back, but he does not--" the male shakes his head, because if this was his brother, then he should be the one to announce his disability.

"i'm sorry for my disappearance, for any pain that i have caused. but i am also sorry because.. i don't... i don't remember anyone. i don't remember this house, or the people in it... or... you..."

@❀ kim seojun — the third of january, 1869.

The air hung heavy with anticipation as Eunha made her way to the Kim Manor, a facade of calmness etched upon her features. To the casual observer, she appeared composed, each step calculated, but a discerning eye might catch the subtle urgency in the way her feet moved, an undertone of anxiety that betrayed the collected surface. Two fortnights had passed since the receipt of Seojun's letter, a missive that, despite its assurances of safety, carried a whisper of distress in the uncharacteristically shaky and lighter brushstrokes than usual.

Plague and war had conspired to keep them apart, leaving only the words on paper to sustain her. Frustration and worry had brewed in her heart, prompting her to take matters into her own hands. She carried a purpose, masked as a delivery from her brother Yejoon, a guise to uncover the truth behind Seojun's unusual silence.

As she approached the Kim Manor, the imposing gates opened in response to her presence. To her astonishment, Kim Minjun emerged, a figure she knew more through Seojun's pained words than direct encounters. His gaze held a flicker of recognition, acknowledging the woman from the papers. With practiced politeness, he addressed her, "You must be Kim Eunha. I apologize on behalf of my son for bothering you."

Nervousness gripped Eunha as she faced the man who had inflicted suffering upon the one she loved. Seojun had tried to shield her from the details of his torment until she eventually came to know of the truth, and now she stood before the source of his pain. "No need for apologies, sir. I should be the one apologizing for putting your son in this position, especially after recently coming back from the war."

A moment of silence hung in the air, pregnant with unspoken tension. Kim Minjun hummed, nodded, and gestured for her to follow him. The atmosphere within the manor was tense, every step echoing with unspoken history.

In the dim-lit room, shadows played across the walls, casting an ethereal glow upon the stillness that enveloped Seojun's sleeping figure. Eunha, kneeling beside his bed, felt a torrent of emotions rushing through her as she reached for his hand—a silent promise not to let go, not after the struggles and the silence that had kept them apart.

@❀ kim hyunji Jinye thought back to the days she had spent confined in bed due to her injuries. She could only let out a sigh, "recovery is a journey that goes beyond physical healing. It can also be about rebuilding connections and finding new strength within yourself. Sometimes, those we expect to be there for us disappoint, and in turn, we discover unexpected sources of support."

Gently, she reached over with her left hand, patting the other's hand like a mother to a child. "I understand how it feels to be left alone, Hyunji," she began, her tone soft and empathetic. "People often fear the aftermath of illness, as if it's contagious in more ways than one."

She paused, letting the words settle between them. "If there's someone on your mind, someone you wish had visited, maybe it's worth reaching out to them. Sometimes, people don't realize the impact of their absence unless it's brought to their attention."
Jinye observed Hyunji's fleeting smile, sensing an undercurrent of sadness beneath the surface. Despite her attempt at lightheartedness, the mention of friends not visiting seemed to weigh heavily on her. The young woman's gaze dropped, and Jinye could tell there was more to the story.

"Hyunji," Jinye began gently, "is there something on your mind? You seem troubled. Friends not visiting can be disheartening, but there's more to it, isn't there?" She furrowed her brow, realizing that Hyunji may be referring to someone significant. She decided to approach the matter with delicacy. "A special someone, perhaps?"

@❀ kim seojun @❀ kim hyunjun @❀ kim byungjun The ancestral home stood as a testament to the passage of time, its aging walls echoing the stories of generations long gone. Amidst the serene surroundings, Hyunji found herself standing before her mother's grave, a place that held both solace and sorrow.

The air was filled with a quiet melancholy as Hyunji knelt down, gently placing a bouquet of chrysanthemums on the well-tended grave. She traced her fingers along the engraved characters that marked her mother's final resting place, a silent acknowledgment of the bond that transcended the boundaries of life and death.

"Mother," she began softly, her words carried away by the gentle breeze. "It's been so long since I last spoke to you. I wish you were here to see how we've all grown, to share in our joys and sorrows." With a heavy heart, Hyunji continued, "The war has ended, but...but they haven't come back. I don't know where they are, and the uncertainty is eating away at me. Father is too ignorant to reconsider everything I did for this family. I try to be strong, Mother, I really do, but it's getting harder every day." Tears welled up in her eyes, and Hyunji's voice trembled as she spoke, "I miss them very much. I miss the way things we used to be. I feel so lost without them, and I don't know what to do. I can't lose them in some petty war."

As her emotions overwhelmed her, Hyunji bowed her head, the weight of her worries too much to bear alone. She allowed the pain to surface, letting her grief pour out in the sacred space where her mother rested.

@✿ song jinye the younger woman looked at her, "it is quite a good news that you have recovered as well, lady jinye." she smiled but only for a moment before her eyes went to her work. when the other asked if there was anyone who visited their manor, checking up on her upon the fact that the plague has been lifted.

other than her brothers, there was someone that hyunji was really anticipated to see again, but he never came upon their break up. she tried to smile again, "other than my brothers and my ignorant father, none of my friends come to visit me so far... not even one..." she looked down.

@❀ kim hyunji She sighed with relief, glad to hear the other had been resting well. With the end of the plague and the antidote finally making its way around the country, Jinye felt as if there was a sense of normalcy again. Of course, things were still in progress, and it would take time before everything could finally fall back in place again.

“The physicians are right,” she says softly, “look at you, still working endlessly even though you’re still recovering.” Jinye lightly shook her head at the seamstress, however she was also deeply moved to see that the young seamstress was keeping herself busy. It was much like herself, who too should be resting due to her injuries, but instead she has found herself worried over friends and family more than herself.

With a slight squeeze of her right hand with her left, Jinye faintly nodded at the other’s question. Of course her arm was still impaired, she had lost sensation and movement, but it was not doomed yet and she had the chance to recover completely. “I’m feeling much better these days. Eventually and with time, it’ll be back like nothing has ever happened.”

However, Jinye still couldn’t shrug off the feeling that something was the matter with the seamstress. There seems to be something bothering her and she was perhaps looking quite blue over the matter. As her eyes wandered around the room, Jinye asked nonchalantly, “are you home alone? Did anyone else come to see you yet? Friends or anyone special for that matter?” She tried to tease in hopes to bring up the other’s mood.

@✿ song jinye hyunji was just doing the fabrics when she looks at jinye and nodded, "y-yes, lady jinye. i'm fine." she smiled to make the other think she's fine inside and out, but inside she's not. "i've been resting well yes, but the physicians told me i had to stay indoors for now and not think of anything like going back to my business." she told the other.

despite all that, her heart weighs more because she has been thinking about the man she broke up with because of the marriage. "i heard you have been injured during the time i was... well, you know." she chuckled, "anyway, are you feeling well now? you aren't in pain now perhaps?" she asked the other.

@❀ kim hyunji Seeing Hyunji warmly greet her allowed Jinye some respite. Ever since she heard that her favorite seamstress had been infected from the plague, she wondered if there was anyone who would take care of her. Although Jinye did not ask for much information on the young lady’s family in the past, she had received news from guards at the military academy that her cell did not receive many visitors.

Jinye pulled away from the hug, softly examining Hyunji’s complexion. Hearing that she has been diligently taking the antidote as prescribed for the plague eased her nerves. It was as if her little friend was well on her way to recovery.

She shook her head at the offer of tea, explaining, “it’s alright, I dropped by to see you. You look as lively as you always do. I’m glad.”

As her eyes scanned the room, she noted the multitude of embroidery and fabrics that were beautifully designed with intricate threads. Hyunji continued to resume her work as Jinye took a seat at a bench opposite her in the room. She watched with a keen eye the swift needlework and details that the seamstress honed into the fabrics which never ceased to amaze her each time.

“You’re busy as ever.” Jinye remarks, “you’re not skipping your rest are you? Although you are recovering well, you should still consider your health.” She sounded like a worried mother, one who was afraid her child would tire themself out. However, there was also an inkling of feeling that crept on her skin, as if there was an air of obviousness in Hyunji’s deliberate movements.

Jinye would recognize this from anyone--it was a form of distraction--similar to the year when she lost her betrothed and she sunk into novels after novels holed up in her room without a sliver of sunlight. It was heartache and pain; and her hunch told her that the seamstress must have something weighing heavily on her mind.

“Hyunji…” She asks with a concerned tone in her voice, “is everything alright?”

@✿ song jinye after the outbreak, hyunji had to make sure that she needs a full recovery before she gets back to her feet again. she's not yet well after the whole plague fiasco her hand where she was bitten is still bandaged as she doesn't want anyone to know about the whole thing.

she remained in their household, doing her new dresses for the season and all. her pale face is starting to be warm as the medicines that the physician advised her to drink two times a day to make the symptoms from the infection would disappear.

hyunji sighed as she keeps on making an embroidery through the fabric until one of the maids told her that lady jinye has visited the manor and then she sees the only person whom she can talk to. hyunji's smile brighten up to see her stopped what she was doing to greet the other, "lady jinye! you have come!" she greeted and hugged her. "i am doing fine, as long as i keep taking the medicines by the physicians i will be fine."

"so uh, do you want to have a cup of tea with me?" she asked the other as she went back to her place and continues working on her dresses.

@❀ kim hyunji The late afternoon sun cast long shadows across the cobbled streets as Jinye made her way toward the Kim manor. She had heard about Hyunji having been quarantined during the outbreak of the plague and the young girl had fallen victim to the affliction of the infection. The gates of the manor loomed ahead and Jinye's steps were quickened by a sense of urgency and concern.

She had entrusted the seamstress with the delicate art of crafting garments and collecting information about the common people for her, but beyond this professional bond, a genuine friendship had blossomed between them and Jinye has come to view the seamstress as a younger sister.

The courtyard was hushed as if the air held its breath. Jinye's eyes searched for any sign of Hyunji, her heart heavy with the weight of worry as she entered into the manor where the scent of a burning kiln and ceramic clay enveloped her. She came upon a quiet chamber, where the delicate sound of a needle weaving through fabrics reached her ears.

Jinye caught sight of Hyunji, seated at her sewing station, eyes focused on her craft. She crossed the room swiftly, the fabric of her hanbok rustling softly as her voice. "Hyunji-yah," she called, a mix of concern in her gaze. "News of your well-being has reached me. How have you been these days?"

@❀ kim byungjun it was an ordinary afternoon for seojun, the same old, repetitive, and exhausting work day. he shaped the clay at the wheel until the shooting nerves in his hands and wrists screamed for him to stop, but he couldn't. he had not reached his daily quota yet. he moved aside the still-burning-hot tea cups with his bare hands to make room for the round of stoneware that was about to be ready to be taken out of the kiln. seojun did not scream out in pain, no, the nerves in his fingertips had burned off a long time ago. if the ceramist were to describe his life with one word, it would take no time to come up with that word.

redundant.

as per usual, an itch suddenly starts up deep in seojun's lungs, and the male begins to cough uncontrollably. grabbing a clean rag, seojun uses it to wipe the sweat from his brow then proceeds to stifle the sounds of his coughing with it. he knew there was something wrong with him. as a young child, he used to hear the painful coughs that came from his grandfather all the time until his untimely death. he died rather early in seojun's life. as soon as his father, minjun, started to develop a small cough, he completely withdrew from the workshop and had seojun cover for both of them. minjun had not touched the pottery wheel in years. perhaps it was a curse only those who worked in the family workshop could get.

for a brief moment, seojun stepped out to just catch a breath of fresh air, and amidst his break, he watched the gate of his family's manor creek open. it was an officer, accompanied by a taller man, presumably younger than the official. his head tilted to the side in confusion as he squinted at the sight to get a better look at their faces. they weren't expecting any visitors. hyunji or hyunjun must have done something crazy today. cautiously, the male began to approach the two, the rag still in hand.

"excuse me? do you have any business he—" seojun confronted the strangers until he finally got a good look at the two men. in disbelief, the ceramist stopped in his tracks as the rag dropped out of his hands, dusty from the dried clay that clung to the wrinkles of his skin. the taller man was no stranger to seojun. a sense of familiarity washed over him as the flicker of recognition flashed in the younger male's eyes. that prominent nose. the intense eyes. the small beauty mark underneath his right eye. he knew it too well.

kim byungjun, his oldest brother, had returned home.

the back of his seojun's eyes began to feel hot as he continued his approach. he swore to himself that if he were to meet his brother again, the first thing he would do was to punch him square in the jaw for leaving them, but instead of violence, seojun found himself pulling the older male into a tight embrace. swallowing the lump in his throat, he hoarsely spoke the three words he never thought he would say.

"hyung, you're back."

@❀ kim seojun ten years had slipped away since byungjun disappeared into the shadows of suwon's bustling streets. officer jihoon, relentless in his pursuit, finally uncovered the tangled web of deceit that had concealed byungjun's whereabouts for the decade. as they journeyed back to hanseong, officer jihoon observed byungjun's somber demeanor, a demeanor clouded by a decade-long absence from the city that once cradled him, and a city that he did not recall. byungjun sat beside jihoon, his eyes holding a glint of curiosity and confusion.

"byungjun," jihoon began gently, "your family eagerly awaits your return. they've dreamed of this moment, yearning for the day they'd have you back."

byungjun nodded, his expression a mask hiding a maze of emotions he couldn't unravel. memories were elusive, a distant dream swallowed by the abyss of his abduction. "tell me about them," byungjun requested, his voice tinged with uncertainty. "my family, my home... i can't recall anything about them."

officer jihoon painted vivid portraits of a devoted mother, a father that ebbed and flowed, and siblings who grew up in the shadow of byungjun's absence. he described the warmth of a home that once embraced laughter and the void that swallowed it in his disappearance.

"their longing for you knows no bounds," jihoon continued, hope flickering in his eyes.

as they approached hanseong, byungjun's heart fluttered with anticipation mingled with trepidation. the cityscape, once etched in his memory, now appeared as an unfamiliar tapestry of unknown streets and buildings. they arrived at a modest residence adorned with welcoming lights and faces peering through the windows. byungjun dismounted from the horse, his movements cautious, as if stepping onto foreign soil. the door awaited him, a gateway to a past he couldn't recollect. he was aware family members would be gathered on the threshold, their eyes shimmering with tears, yearning for a recognition that eluded byungjun. would their embraces feel foreign? just as his memories of them were? or would they strike a memory or two? their smiles unknown, and their names whispered hollowly within his mind.

byungjun remained at the door, staring and awaiting the moment he would be able to step in and stand amidst them, a stranger amidst the intimate circle of his own kin. their love would be tangible, their warmth palpable, yet they existed in a space in his mind where memories refused to resurface. overwhelmed by a sense of displacement, he grappled with the enormity of the gap between his forgotten past and the present before him. the reunion was a threshold he couldn't cross yet, a bridge that remained suspended between two worlds he struggled to reconcile.

as he stood at the door, byungjun's gaze drifted over the ceramics down the walking path, the mementos that held stories he couldn't recall. he was back home, yet home felt like an intangible concept, a puzzle with missing pieces he couldn't locate. amidst his hesitance, officer jihoon lingered behind him, silently acknowledging byungjun's poignant struggle, hoping that time would weave together the fragmented memories and resurrect the elusive connection between him and his long-lost past.

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