@Woo Jiho ♡ While descending the rope left by Jiho, rather using his clammy hands to cling to the mast and inch down as he usually would, Kris directed consideration toward his lover. 'You would be unhappy if he were missing aboard a ship full of rowdy men, surrounded by nothing by unforgiving seawater. Stop to think about his fears and anxieties, fool.' He dropped to the planks a mere foot away, certainly not daring enough to leave a meter between himself and the deck for fear of harming his bum leg. He moved aside to give Jiho room to drop, but reconsidered as Jiho descended low enough; Kris grabbed him about the waist with arms stronger than his legs, plucked him from the rope, set him down and gave the rope the tug it needed, in the angle it needed to be unlooped.
"Come," he said, leading Jiho away with a gentle tug to his hand. "Let us return to privacy to speak. I wish to love you." He pushed through the solid door and consistently marveled at how such a beautiful creation was all hand-carved. It was amazing to him that the ship was also all made by one man and his team, no pirate by any means, but a skilled artisan. An architect at his finest. When the lock secured behind them, Kris the small lad and placed an intense kiss to his lips with his cold fingers caressing his jaw. When he pulled away and led Jiho to recline on the bed, the dark circles under the boy's eyes were more apparent to him, and more sad.
"Kechara," he cooed in Jiho's ear, "I love you. I'm sorry for scaring you... and making you climb the mast. Please forgive me." He gazed deeply, sweetly into Jiho's warm, dark eyes and smiled- the corner of his mouth quirking up ever so slightly. "I... have a lot of things to ponder that I cannot avoid. They make me unhappy. but of course, thinking of you helps," he lied through the smile. 'When I think of you while hating myself, I make myself believe you hate me too.' "Seeing you up there really touched me, Ji. I'm honored, but please feel no need to chase me down whilst I'm up there. If that bothers you, do not make the effort-- please." He pressed another heartfelt kiss to his love's forehead.
"These... thoughts... that bother me... They don't go away. My best choice is to sit still through them, to let them wash over me for a while, or I may... well... I have no longer a desire to end myself, for I love you. and that is all I need." He didn't acknowledge or even feel the tear that streaked down his temple. This topic was always, always private. Jiho deserved better, though, and Kris knew that; even if he could no nothing for Kris, Jiho could listen, and Kris knew he would want that.
"I've... never shared..." He sighed and closed his eyes, nestling his head deeper into the pillow. "I-I slept... a candlemark or so. But, forgive me if I lose to sleep." His half-smile still remained as he rested his eyelids, then opened them to sweep Jiho's features occasionally.
@Wu Yifan [H] (Sorry, I think i spaced during well over half of this reply T-T)
Jiho sighed softly as he began to wake, stretching carefully, only to realized that he was alone in bed. Opening his eyes slowly to peer about the empty room, it was still early. He frowned, which meant that the captain had awoken even earlier, if he had actually got any sleep. Something seemed to be troubling the elder, but the prince just couldn't figure out what it was, nor did he tell him. He didn't like the distant look that would appear on his face at random times, it worried him to think that something would make the man he love shut himself off from the world around him. There had to be a reason, right? Or was it just something that came with the job?
With a heavy sigh, he pushed himself out of bed; fixing the covers before searching for his clothes. Washing his face and fixing his hair to look somewhat decent, before he felt he was ready to leave the room. Closing the door behind him as he walked out. Careful to stay out of the crews way as they made themselves busy with their daily work as he search around for any signs of where the captain would be. After a while he had given up and decided to ask if any had seen him, one had pointed him to the crow's nest high above the mast. Taking a moment to study the structure, he could tell it was much larger than the castle wall. He was positive the entire ship was bigger than a few of the towers in the castle, without the sails it was already bigger than the walls.
Swallowing his fears, Jiho gripped the rope as he made his way up. He should've been used to climbing and heights by now, especially after doing it for years over the castle walls and out of towers just to get out and enjoys some freedom. But all that seemed to be nothing when compared to all the different elements to factor in when climbing the ship. Keeping his wits about him as he climber higher hanging on tighter when the wind pushed harder, causing him to shiver from the cold. As he got closer he could see the elder staring off into the horizon, meaning once again he was lost in thought. He frowned softly, climbing over the railing, careful not to miss a step before moving closer to the captain.
Wrapping his arms, around his lover hugging him gently, not wanting to startle him to much. Smiling softly at the affection, before looking up at him with a worried expression, "I sleep well, but you were gone when I had awoken. Did you sleep at all yourself?"
"I'm used to climbing," he pouted softly before admitting. "It's much higher than I had originally thought. And a lot more to think about when climbing up. And colder."
Jiho nodded, knowing it would be pointless to argue about his safety. He didn't have enough experience to win that argument or even understand all the dangers that could arise. Carefully, heading back down he came and quite frankly, he couldn't tell if going up or down was scarier. Maybe he wouldn't continue to play so high, not unless need called for it.
@Woo Jiho ♡ 'Has it really only been three short weeks since that fateful encounter?' The fleeting memories of satin skin covered in beaded sweat, recollections of soft mewls and gasps, the sinful sensations anew in his anamnesis, they all wrenched his mind into nostalgia and his monologue was fueled, was more inspired. 'Three weeks of sailing... should we not be settled into our new dwellings?' It was true, the journey should only have spanned three weeks at most, now drawing to a fifth week; the unfortunate turn of tides and most unfavorable and ruthless weather made the voyage extend- not only by length, but also distance.
'And yet Jiho has not requested to return home, has not questioned the duration of this expedition I embarked on without his consent. He has been simply loving and patient... do I really deserve him?' He stared ahead into nothingness, into everything and its vastness, and wondered. His thoughts eventually would circle the horizon and escape him, but whilst he supported himself against the thick and unmovable mast with no distraction other than the faint glimmering gems dotting the violet canvas that progressed into a stunning scarlet at the edge of day, he would ponder the same questions. Until he was moved by hunger, cold or gravity to rest, he would stand sentinel in the Crow's Nest.
'When we reach this new land, what is in store for my crew? We're here for... for what?' Though months-- years of consideration and thorough planning went into this adventure, Kris felt doubts --completely foolish, unfounded doubts that were simply his weary mind delving into his depression, but doubts nevertheless. He couldn't stop the progressively more antagonistic sayings, feeling more truth from them as time passed, and a small voice somewhere in the back of his head whispered on repeat, 'this was a suicide mission, you've made a mistake.' After nearly two decades of experience and dauntlessness, Kris suspected his career was already nearing an end.
'All because I'm too insecure. I shouldn't have dragged my crew over this ocean...' And there he left this train of thought, eating him alive, fed by nonsensical self-blame and anxiety. He pressed his steepled fingers against his lips and proceeded to stare into space, unaware the sun had risen and was hovering nonchalantly halfway between the peak of the skies. He might have contemplated his errors for another few candlemarks, had he not been startled out of his stupor by a pair of arms encircling his waist from behind. He jolted and stiffened, but the sight of the purest skin and softest hands clasped over his diaphragm softened him as he carefully turned around to face his lover.
"Bright the day," he said tentatively as he pressed a much-needed kiss to Jiho's hair. "How did you sleep, my sweet?" He looked over the edge of the crow's nest and hummed. "I thought you wouldn't come up here?" Cold dread clutched his spine and he would have hurled himself over the edge a few hours earlier if he had felt that same sensation, but now he stoically leaned into Jiho's touch. 'He ascended because you're a selfish fool who scared him by waltzing out of the room without explanation in the midst of his slumber. Idiot, he could have fallen from fear.' He felt remorse, mostly, but also couldn't bear to let go of the hatred for himself. "Come," he said suddenly. "Let us get you safely down." His destructive tendencies could wait.
