⁎ day room

@kevin e. • ᵇᵒᵐᵇᵃʸ ᶜᵃᵗ Chungha watched as Kevin spoke to the staff member as she kept her head down just working on her forest animal picture. She started to draw more flowers as she heard Kevin speaking about take the assignment more seriously as she finally peeked up to see the staff member leaving. "Would you like to color something that I've already drawn?" Chungha asked as she had tons of pictures that were just in black or white that he could color if he wanted.

@chungha k. • ᵗᵘʳᵏᶦˢʰ ᵃⁿᵍᵒʳᵃ Kevin let out an annoyed huff. He then looked over to Chungha and could tell she probably wasn't comfortable with all this. To relieve her of the discomfort, he just went along with what the staff member said so they would leave. "Okay, fiiiiinnnnneee," he groaned, dragging out the 'fine'. "I'll take the assignment more seriously and actually draw something. But I need my space to concentrate..." He looked up to the staff member, "So if you don't mind..." He made a shooing motion.

@kevin e. • ᵇᵒᵐᵇᵃʸ ᶜᵃᵗ Chungha looked up at as the staff member came over to them just feeling shy and anxious as a new person came over. Her ears folded over as her tail curled around her lower half as she could only look down at her drawing as she continued to draw just not knowing what to do in this situation.

@chungha k. • ᵗᵘʳᵏᶦˢʰ ᵃⁿᵍᵒʳᵃ He nodded silently, trying to hold his tears in. "Yeah..." was all he could say.

Suddenly, a staff member came over. "Kevin," they said, "What is this? You're supposed to be drawing, you know?"

"Maybe I don't feel like it today," said Kevin.

"You have to participate in the activities we give you here, it's the key to getting you better."

"Sure," Kevin said, rolling his eyes.

"Just actually draw something. Look at your partner, Chungha's, drawing."

[post deleted by owner]

@kevin e. • ᵇᵒᵐᵇᵃʸ ᶜᵃᵗ Chungha nodded as she looked at him. "Hm, I can understand that as I used to get upset when people told me that I was pretty or anything like that as I had to drilled into me that I wasn't and everything - but with my thearpy and talking about it I've gotten better over the years," Chungha mumbled as she looked at him. "Though, I still have my break downs and moments," Chungha put down her green color as she picked up the brown crayon just starting on the bark part of the tree.

@chungha k. • ᵗᵘʳᵏᶦˢʰ ᵃⁿᵍᵒʳᵃ He nodded, returning to scribbling in red. "Yeah, I know how that is too. I always worry about how I look. I worry more when people are nice to me. When people say I look good." He let out a soft sigh and it was obvious he wanted to cry a bit, but he remained strong and did not. "For some reason...when people say good things about how I look...like call me handsome, or tell me I have a good body, or something like that...it hurts me more than an insult would. I don't know why. Maybe because I don't believe what they say is true."

@kevin e. • ᵇᵒᵐᵇᵃʸ ᶜᵃᵗ Chungha slowly nodded her head as she looked at him. "That is true," She mumbled as she looked at him. Chungha didn't speak on that it defines them and not as she still thought that she wasn't pretty, but everyone here kept telling her that she was, which was odd to her as she had always been told that she was ugly or she was only a pretty girl when she was a good girl. "Please don't tell me to worry about it because I'll then I'll obsess over just worry about it," Chungha mumbled as she would as she picked up a green crayon just starting some leaves and flower stems of her drawing.

@chungha k. • ᵗᵘʳᵏᶦˢʰ ᵃⁿᵍᵒʳᵃ "Eh, you know how people are," he said, "People have it in their heads how people should and shouldn't be and then they bully people who don't fit their ideals. But people are s. THeir behavior towards you doesn't define you, it defines them..." He shrugged. "You shouldn't worry about it. You're attractive. If you were ugly, it'd be different. Being ugly is hell, trust me, I know. But you're cute, so it's fine."

@kevin e. • ᵇᵒᵐᵇᵃʸ ᶜᵃᵗ "But are they?" Chungha spoke as she didn't lift her head up as she kept drawing just shrugging again. She was still working on not thinking that her ears and tail were ugly or not cute even though she keeps being told they are pretty and unique from multiple people. "All my siblings have really pretty snow-white ears, and they aren't in a place like this and treated poorly - so my ears aren't a good thing," Chungha mumbled to herself as she shook her head a bit. "I like black though, well better than this mess," Chungha motioned to her ears. Chungha wouldn't have normally spoke this much either but he seemed nice enough and he was told that she needed more friends. "Thank you though for saying that," Chungha mumbled

@chungha k. • ᵗᵘʳᵏᶦˢʰ ᵃⁿᵍᵒʳᵃ "Well, those people are wrong," he said simply, "Their s." He sat up straight now, deciding her company was enough to dull his pain for now. "Well you are. I like your ears and tail. Their different. I've never seen any like it. The coloring is pretty and unique. I wish I had something like that. Better than the basic black I got stuck with. Black is nice on clothes, but not on fur. On fur it's boring." He felt weird. He had never been social like this before. But around her, he felt...okay...even though his heart pounded with nervousness with every syllable he spoke, he still kept talking. Not to mention most people hate black cats, so there's that. But, your fur on your ears and tail is nice."

@kevin e. • ᵇᵒᵐᵇᵃʸ ᶜᵃᵗ Chungha's ears folded over as she didn't want to make him upset or anything by arguing with him - even if she could. "Well, maybe just find something that you want to eat or like to," Chungha mumbled as she laughed a bit at the sound of herself being called pretty. "Plenty of people have treated me horribly. Especially the person that I trusted most," Chungha nodded as she looked at him. "I am not that pretty, just look at my ears and tails - I was called smoky trash, or ugly duckling," She added as she was drawing a fawn.

@chungha k. • ᵗᵘʳᵏᶦˢʰ ᵃⁿᵍᵒʳᵃ "Mm, it's not that easy. If I eat, I feel guilty. If I feel guilty, I get mad at myself. Then sad. Then I want to punish myself by hurting myself. Plus, I cry over how much of a failure I am, plus both of those things you said are my fear foods, so..." He sighed. " when someone else in your head is always talking you." He shrugged. "Surprised anyone could treat you that way. In all honesty, I didn't know pretty people got treated like ."

@kevin e. • ᵇᵒᵐᵇᵃʸ ᶜᵃᵗ Chungha set down her crayon again as she looked at him. "Well, if it will make you feel better then why not do it? Eat something light like an apple or carrots," Chungha mumbled as she looked at him. Chungha slowly nodded as she then shook her head. "I won't cry - I am just saying that is what others have done. Right now, I am feeling okay," Chungha said as she gave another short nod. She squirmed in her spot as she didn't really like talking about this kind of stuff as it wasn't like it made her uncomfortable but she just didn't like to remember bad memories or think about them again. "I don't like it either," Chungha shook her head again as she picked up a pink crayon just starting to draw a bunny.

@chungha k. • ᵗᵘʳᵏᶦˢʰ ᵃⁿᵍᵒʳᵃ He sighed and let out a small chuckle. He opened an eye again. "If I get them to help me, they'll make me eat. Which would help me feel better, but...I don't really wanna. I do but I don't. Afraid of what it'll do to my body. Plus if they find out I've been purging again, they'll tell my family. Ugh." He sighed after she spoke. "I don't mean to ignore you. I'm just sick and in pain today. It's not your fault. So please don't cry." He grew quiet for a while. "I know what it's like to be ignored. People act like you don't matter. And then you feel less than human and worry something is wrong with you. But worse is when they do notice you, just to bully and abuse you. I hate that."

@kevin e. • ᵇᵒᵐᵇᵃʸ ᶜᵃᵗ Chungha blinked at him as she was thrown so much information at once so she looked slightly confused or more like she was processing everything as she nodded. "You don't have to apologize," Chungha set down her crayon as she rested her hands on top of her sketchbook. "If you don't feel good then you should tell your orderly then they'll help you," Chungha slowly shook her head as she looked at him. She didn't quite understand his words or well what he meant by them totally. "I think you look fine," She picked back up her crayon just going back to work on her forest creatures. "It's also okay if you ignore me - I am used to it that is the norm for me - ignored or pestered until I cry," Chungha set her crayon down just picking up a new one.

@chungha k. • ᵗᵘʳᵏᶦˢʰ ᵃⁿᵍᵒʳᵃ He opened an eye. He gave her a small smile, despite being in pain. "I'm Kevin," he said, "Sorry...I just feel awful today. It's my own fault but eh...it's like I'm ed no matter what I do. It's either feel or be unloved and ugly, so...I mean, I'm dying, but at least one day people will like me and think I look good." He sighed. "So don't feel like I'm ignoring you, I'm just tired and in pain." He closed his eye again.

@kevin e. • ᵇᵒᵐᵇᵃʸ ᶜᵃᵗ Chungha finished her sketch just turning to a new page in her sketchbook as she glanced at the other as he didn't reply to her. She just shook her head not trying to obsess as to why he wouldn't speak back to her to not answer her. She bit her lip just starting to sketch some cuter little forest creatures just using the crayons that were in the bucket in front of her. First, though, she organized the colors in terms of how the rainbow when just humming to herself and smiling as she then went back to sketching. Chungha glanced over to her orderly who mouthed to introduce herself and make friends as she sighed. "Oh, uhm, uh," Chungha fumbled as she sighed. "My name is uhm, Chungha," She mumbled into her sketchbook as she was drawing a fox.

@chungha k. • ᵗᵘʳᵏᶦˢʰ ᵃⁿᵍᵒʳᵃ Kevin didn't bother replying. One, he didn't want to. It would involve talking. Two, he could tell by her stuttering that the situation made her uncomfortable. He knew how that was. He just figured in his mind that it really didn't matter if he got caught or not. Only thing that would happen was they would figure out he felt bad, then figure out it was because he was secretly starving and purging again. Then, they'd make him eat, or even tube feed him. But honestly, as bad as he felt...and as hungry as he felt, he felt like giving in. He felt like maybe going back to eating like a normal person for a small, little while, might be okay.

@kevin e. • ᵇᵒᵐᵇᵃʸ ᶜᵃᵗ Chungha glanced up at him as he spoke as she felt nervous inside and her tail was waving a lot of because of this, but she wasn't tearing up or anything so that was good. Chungha kept on sketching as she glanced at what he was doing as he didn't seem to care much about drawing or anything of the sort. Chungha jumped a bit as he dropped his crayon as she figured saying hello was enough for the moment. Chungha rested her pencil on her sketch as she blinked just shaking her head at what he was saying. "But it's not nap time," Chungha whispered as she watched him lay his head down, "I can't promise that b-e-ca-use i'm not a g-ood lier." She felt the anxiety swell up in her as she shook her head just setting down her crayon as she wiped her face just resting her hands in her lap and started to breathe slowly in and then out. When she was calm again, she went back to drawing.

@chungha k. • ᵗᵘʳᵏᶦˢʰ ᵃⁿᵍᵒʳᵃ Kevin's ears perked up at the voice and he looked to her. He was shy and hated talking to people and he could feel himself already growing nervous. "H-hi," he said as his heart pounded. Social situations made him stress and worry, and automatically put him in fight or flight mode. He tensed up and went back to the scribbling, at least for a little while. Soon, he grew tired and just dropped his crayon. He sighed. He laid his head on the table, even though the table was cold and made his already cold feeling body grow more cold. He closed his eyes. At least the cold of the table was a nice cold. It took away his headache. "I'm sleeping," he said, "Don't let any of the staff catch me."

@kevin e. • ᵇᵒᵐᵇᵃʸ ᶜᵃᵗ Chungha was, for once, having a decent day as she hadn't had too many anxiety spikes and she slept at least six hours last night which was a record for the past couple weeks of only hitting the three or two hours of sleep. She was carrying her own art supplies to art therapy today since the orderlies and everyone knows she is a big art person and has her own things to draw with. Chungha clutched her sketchbook and bag of pencils to her chest as she gently brought over to a table with another person sitting across from her as she was told this was her partner for today and to draw with her supplies or use the crayons provided for today. Chungha was also told for today her goal was to speak to her partner and learn about the person as an exercise to lessen her social anxiety.

Chungha blinked as her ears slightly folded over at the other's angry scribbling as she opened up her sketchbook just flipping to a page that was unfinished as it was a scene of different cute anime-like animals. Chungha started to sketch just glancing slightly to the other sitting across from her as she opened a few times. She shook her head as she sighed. She kept sketching for a few moments before glancing up again. "Hi," She mumbled not taking her eyes off of her sketchbook.

@chungha k. • ᵗᵘʳᵏᶦˢʰ ᵃⁿᵍᵒʳᵃ Kevin was in the day room sitting at one of the tables and honestly, he wasn't in the mood for this . He felt terrible physically and no matter what, he was always so freaking cold! But, that's what happens when you have such a low body fat percentage. If he had his way, he'd be in bed right now...or better yet, a casket. He let out a small groan, wishing the reaper would just take him already at this point. Besides, any idiot would know...better to be dead and thin than alive and fat. And if being thin is what made him feel so bad to the point he wished for death...then he must be doing something right, and so be it. The staff told them they were going to do drawing art therapy today. He sighed, not really wanting to with it. He just grabbed a red crayon and scribbled it all over his paper, sighing. Soon, a woman got sat next to him and he was told she was his partner for this activity.

@kumsung h. Chungha nodded slowly as she was searching around for the pencil bag as that was on her mind at the moment. Chungha eyes picked up as he said that he had found her pencil pouch. She followed him to where it was just bending down and picking up her pencil bag from the ground as she smiled to herself that had her things back. Chungha turned back to him as she bit her lip just thinking about his question. "I really like lotus blossoms, cherry blossoms, baby's breath, roses, and chrysanthemums," Chungha smiled with a nod, "Do you have any favorite flowers?"

@chungha k. • ᵗᵘʳᵏᶦˢʰ ᵃⁿᵍᵒʳᵃ Kumsung smiled and nodded “there definitely are pretty flowers in the garden” he said, taking her hand gently. “Alright. There’s the sketchbook. Now where would the pencil bag be...” he looked around, squeezing her hand lightly when he spotted it. “right there! Come on. Lets get it” he said, leading her to where her pencil bag was and smiled, letting her pick it up as well. “What are your favorite flowers sweetie?” He asked, tilting his head.

@kumsung h. "There are some pretty flowers out in the garden. I like being out there when the weather is nice," She told him a nod as she returned the smile well half away did as she was okay but still slightly upset. Chungha stood up just looking around for her sketchbook. Chungha grabbed Kumsung's hand as she nodded. "Yes, sketchbook and pencil bag, that's it," Chungha gently pulled him along to follow her as she noticed where her sketchbook had been pushed aside as she picked it up with her free hand. She then stood close by him as she looked around her pencil bag that had all her drawing supplies in it.

@chungha k. • ᵗᵘʳᵏᶦˢʰ ᵃⁿᵍᵒʳᵃ Kumsung smiled when he saw that the girl had calmed down and nodded "of course. Let's go get your things and bring it out to the garden. You might find some flowers you might want to draw" he said, giving her another soft smile "Up you go~ and I'll help you gather your things. Sketchbook and pencil bag. Anything else?" he asked, standing up once the girl had stood up as well.

@kumsung h. Chungha breathing had somewhat gotten back to a normal rhythm as she sniffed. She kept breathing in and out just blinking at him as she nodded a bit. "I am better," She whispered into her lap just glancing up at him. She didn't want him to get his sleeves dirty any more than they were so she raised up her hands just wiping her whole face just cleaning the rest of it as she instinctively shook her head and tail as she did this just blinking at him with her golden orbs just red from all they crying though as she patted down her fluffed up hair just fixing it. "Can we get my things? I don't want to lose them, they're important," Chungha mumbled, holding her tail just smoothing out her fluffed tail.

@chungha k. • ᵗᵘʳᵏᶦˢʰ ᵃⁿᵍᵒʳᵃ Kumsung nodded and gave the girl a soft smile. "There we go. Breathe in.. and out, you're doing great sweet cheeks." He said, rubbing her back gently. He nodded at her words and pulled back slightly so he could get a better look at her face. "Are you a little calmer now? Shall we grab your things?" he asked, wiping at her cheeks with his sleeve. "Or should we sit here for a little bit more until you want to go?"

@kumsung h. Chungha nodded as she breathed in and out just staring at him as she wiped her face one last time as her tears as stopped. She sniffed just resting her head on his chest as she was still breathing in and out as she rested her hands up near her own chest just rubbing the satin bow ribbons her hoodie had on them. She gulped a couple of times as she opened up , "W-e-we can take a walk in the gar-den," She whispered as maybe some fresh air would help her. Chungha's tail had returned to normal and was just curled up against her back, but her ears were still folded over as she sat in his lap.