i probably should have put more thought into this for you, honestly, but i've been busy this past week so i didn't have time to make something better. so hey, have this pretty rushed thing that i thought of making literally ten minutes ago, or something. anyway, it's the 8th where you are now, and i remember it being the 9th for me when you asked me out (i remember that night being wild because wow holy i was in the process of asking you out but you beat me to it because i'm a slow , but thank you for that anyway) so hey, i'm not late or anything, thank god. i hope you're sleeping now and you wake up to this so you'll get motivation for the day. i'm not that satisfied with this because you gave me a beautiful layout and my lazy is always too tired to fix my profile, so wow thank you for that. i hope this cluster of words is gonna be enough to let you know how much i appreciate you and i love you, because you deserve to know how happy you make me. i love you, park sungjin. happy first month, and thanks for sticking with my stupid despite me being the 2nd placed dungeon keeper of the gao squad. yep, there's me - kim namjoon. before i met you, i used to be called a casanova (but i have no clue why oh my god was i really one i thought i was just being friendly damn it), and i was strictly a 'hey what are feelings what is love why do we exist' kinda guy, and that's...probably not a state of mind you want to meet the love of your life in. but then yeah, i met you. and even when i hadn't fallen for you, you made me happy. there was - or rather, is - something about you that put a smile on my face all the time, no matter what you'd do, and when i started to fall for you, that smile only increased tenfold. it might be cheesy of me to say this, but you changed me, angel. i was a head before i met you, and i still am, but now i'm a #whipped head, because damn do i have it bad for you. it may not seem like much of an improvement, but believe me, it is. you make me a better guy, you know.
and then there's you. oh god, there's you. i could talk about you for ages, but i'm an extremely repetitive kinda guy and you would probably just smack me after the first ten minutes of me attempting to talk about how much i love you and how i'm whipped for you. i mean, one can only say 'i love you' so many times before people get sick of it. i'll never get sick of saying it to you, though. even if the word 'love' isn't enough to define exactly how i feel about you - the fondness, the surprise, the affection, the admiration, the wonder, the 'frustration', the l o v e - i'm still gonna use it (see, i just did), because i think it's the closest i can get to describing all the emotions you give me in just one word.

you are so beautiful, you know. not just physically, but also...mentally, i guess? emotionally? it's just that, i don't know how to describe it but you are one of the most beautiful people i've ever met. you're so kind and warm and sweet and friendly and eloquent and just so ing beautiful. sometimes i look at you and think, , this dude must have seriously fallen from the heavens or something because you are ethereal - your whole presence is. and i know that if you tell someone they've fallen from heaven, you're essentially calling them lucifer, but like hey. i'm sure lucifer's beautiful too. just physically, though, he's probably an unlike you. you're an actual ing angel, both inside and out. i kinda got sidetracked, but anyway, my point is that sometimes i look at you and i just can't believe you exist. the earth has been seriously blessed because there's this dude named park sungjin that is probably a literal angel, and i'm the most blessed person on earth because i'm dating that angel. wow, lucky ing me. you go, kim namjoon, you ing go.

not gonna lie, i wish we could have spent more time together this past month, but of course, it's alright. i understand, that life gets in the way, and that's fine - i'm really, really happy for you. you seem to be doing great, and i want you to stay that way. you deserve to always have good things happen to you, because you're precious and amazing and i love you so much. so keep doing you, okay? keep being happy, because seeing you happy makes me happier than ever. i just always want to see you smiling like the angel that you are. i'm not sure if you gained anything from reading my 'i wanna nap' thoughts, but i hope you at least somehow realized how in love with you i am? you've changed me, you're beautiful, i want you happy, and i can't put all of that into proper words - i hope that's enough to let you know of the impact you've made in my life. i love you. so yes, park sungjin, once again, thanks for sticking with my stupid for a whole thirty one days. amazing, you deserve a reward, and i hope this thing (along with my presence of course) is enough of a reward for you. i'm not as good with words as you are (because holy ing you are amazing with words), but i hope my ' i need a nap' thoughts were enough to tell you how much i appreciate you and i love you. i hope we get a lot longer than just one month together, because i haven't had nearly enough of you yet. keep sticking with me, okay? i love you so, so, so much. more than any words could ever say. 

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jae ha ♡ agency garten model! ♡ just a fool in love.
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