⁝ tavern.

@✿ go youngjae When Geon received the invitation to go out for a drink with the younger of the Go brothers, he was confused and wary. It wasn't like they didn't get along or anything like that. Geon saw him as a younger brother, growing up alongside him, though he was naturally closer to Miro. Either way, he had never gone out just with Youngjae, and the male had certainly never invited him out for a one-on-one.

Perhaps Youngjae wanted to get closer, or needed advice on something he couldn't go to Miro for. But a nagging feeling had wormed its way in Geon's stomach, and he doubted it was either of those things. He had an awful feeling this might involve his sister.

So he was wary and had his guard up as he walked to the tavern. He kept his sword on his hip, hand on its pummel. His younger brother was Youngjae's bodyguard, but seeing as he hadn't been invited either, Geon decided it would be best if he had some way of protecting the younger Go brother. Though perhaps the one he'd need protecting from would be none other than Geon himself.

Spotting the male sitting down, Geon slowly made his way over. He removed his hat, sitting across from Youngjae and lifting a brow. "Are you going to be upfront with this, or are you going to try to mellow me out with alcohol first?"

@❃ seo eun Yejun let go of her hand as she pulled it away and listened to her scolding. He ducked his head like a guilty person did. In the end, everything was his fault. Being drunk, punishing himself. In the end, he's just the failure his father and brother taught him as. Now, even Eun just thought the same.
His body trembled, shaking as he did his best to contain all of his sadness to himself. No more sharing his sorrow with her. "Then... what should I do?" He muttered in soft whisper. He was questioning himself more than to anyone. "I should just leave." he stated. "I'm only trouble and disappointment to you."
His tears dropped and stained his jeogori. He sighed and he flipped them around. He pined her down against the bed as he stared into her eyes one last time. His gaze felt with his love, his pain, his regret and his reluctance of leaving her behind. What he told her when he first saw her in the gala that she was his only treasure wouldn't change. That's why his reluctance was clear. However, if he only caused her pain and disappointment, it's better that he wasn't around her because from the very beginning, he only promised her happiness and wishing that for her. He gave her cheek one last caress, just like how one would leave their treasure behind, careful but a pity to do so. He sighed. "I always want you... but it seems that I don't deserve you." He leaned in to give her a last kiss, a kiss that maybe he also doesn't deserve.

@❃ choi geon Youngjae fidgeted nervously in his seat at the dimly lit tavern, his eyes darting anxiously towards the door with every passing minute. The weight of his decision bore heavily upon his shoulders, and he couldn't shake the feeling of apprehension that gnawed at his insides.

Tonight was the night he had chosen to reveal his intentions to Geon, the guard of his older brother, a person whom they had grown up through the years with given that the Choi’s work for the Go’s through numerous seasons. But, Youngjae could not help but worry that the impending news he is about to share would shatter the delicate balance their families had managed to maintain over the years.

It was a complicated family connection, with Geon and Saemi both being valued employees in his estate and to add another layer of complexity to the mix was his accepted proposal to Saemi, which was a risk Youngjae was all too aware of.

But despite his doubts and fears, he couldn't deny the depth of his love for her, nor the certainty in his heart that she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with despite what the families would say. And so, he had come to the tavern tonight, hoping against the odds that Geon would understand and offer his blessing to them.

As the door creaked open, Youngjae's heart leaped into his throat. The moment of truth had arrived, and there was no turning back now.

@❁ jeong hamin the hustle and the bustle were like music to his ears. everyone exchanging a symphony of vibrant exchanges, and conversations, some more somber than others and some rather erupting into laughter almost every other second. the tavern has always been a comfortable place to visit for yongha ever since he's learned how to handle his drink.

his work is chronically engaged with liquor and the art-making conversations, and where would it be more fitting to engage in all these without being in a working setting than the tavern? he found some kind of solace that his passions were still able to thrive without needing to think about it as a job.

from far away, yongha gaze was already fixated on a certain someone as soon as he walked into the establishment. a furrow etched itself upon his brow as he realized how this man barely ever visits the tavern, and yet he's here before the night has deepened. it was indeed a rather perplexing sight as he knew this man like the back of his hand, and he wasn't sure what jeong hamin was doing with liquor in his cup.

he approached his friend with a nonchalant tap on his shoulder, occupying the seat in front of him immediately. "of all the people i expected to see here, it is you i am surprised to meet." he said as he took the cup off of hamin's grip and downed the liquor. "in the years i've known you, you've only drunk a couple of times alone like this."

yongha had been a steadfast confidante ever since that one fateful night that they met during their younger days. during the rocky moments of the younger man's life, yongha was one of those people who formed a solid brotherhood with jeong hamin. with a gentle yet inquisitive tone, he broached the subject that could possibly be the reason why his friend was hunched over a drink alone. "might this be connected to that lady you're currently employed by?" he gracefully motioned to the tavern's server asking for another cup as he spoke. "lady yoon, was it?"

@✿ baek yejun To say she was feeling conflicted would only be half of it. Eun’s mind was a battlefield, raging between anger, apathy and sorrow. Each emotion fought with a force stronger than any army, doing its best to win way and sway over her being. To see him this broken even now that things were going their way made her unsure if there ever was a way she could truly help him. Even with her best of efforts the past would continue existing, haunting his mind and distracting from the future, like a malicious haze just waiting to drag him back under.

It all felt hopeless as she listened to him apologizing, and yet changing nothing about the predicament they were in. He begged forgiveness for having lost sight, yet remained willingly blinded by his own intoxication. Where he could have searched out her comfort and conversation, he had instead sought the bottle. She was as always a second choice to him.

“Stop it, Yejun,” the gisaeng had pleaded as he gently guided her hand to slap his cheek. It had been physically light, yet the emotional weight of the impact rung out in her mind. So when he repeated it a second time with more force, she raised her voice without even thinking. “Yejun stop!” Her breath heaved as she wrenched her wrist from his grip. Horror reflected on her face as she sat there, feeling almost violated from him using her to punish himself. Was he not punishing them both enough already?

@❀ choi jinseok The sun had started its descend that evening, casting long shadows across the snow covered pathways, painting the sky in hues of fiery orange and soft pink as the chill of winter finally started to settle in.

That evening, Gureum has shut her doors to her little rice cake establishment early than she typically would. she would have loved to keep it open for a little while longer, however, tonight, she had a different plan or rather, a meeting with a dear friend she had missed over the last few weeks.

As expected, the tavern was as rowdy as ever, and the sangmin would have judged her best friend for choosing such an unbefitting place for a catch up if not for the fact that she, herself, needed more than a glass or two. “jinseok!” Gureum called out as she made a beeline towards him, a smile adorning her usual cold visage as soon she spotted the male sitting around the table. “sorry to keep you waiting!”

[post deleted by owner]

@✿ seol minhwan within the walls of the seol estate, the potential marriage between the true heir of the seol family and a woman from a prosperous family in japan had sparked considerable discussion. while their engagement announcement had caused a stir in society, it was even more intense within the confines of the estate. the impending marriage signified a further solidification of the duke's support for the count. this time, minhwan wasn't resisting the duke's will but instead, yielding to his desires.

meanwhile, juhwan found himself stuck in yet another of duke seol's discussions, one he was never fond of: marriage. he had been content to silently pine over his friend for the longest time, and the mere suggestion of the duke trying to arrange a marriage for him threatened to disrupt everything. while juhwan had fought hard to earn respect, he had no interest in using marriage as a means to further gain power. he believed in marrying for love, just as his father had done when marrying his mother decades ago. if he was to commit himself to someone for eternity, he wanted it to be with someone he truly loved. yet, he was too afraid to confess his feelings, so he remained on the sidelines. nevertheless, being by her side was something he didn't mind at all.

the heated argument between the duke and the marquess ended prematurely as juhwan stormed out. he had plans to meet minhwan at the tavern, as they hadn't had time to talk and catch up as of late. both men were constantly consumed by their work, driven by a shared need to overachieve. his journey to the tavern was brief, and upon entering, he wasted no time in downing a bowl of makgeolli to kick off their stress-free night together.
despite the complex familial ties between the goo and seol bloodlines, juhwan was grateful for the close relationship with his nephew. perhaps their closeness in age or their mutual need for something genuine early on had played a role in their strong bond, or maybe it was the valuable lessons they had to offer each other.

"minhwan, tell me honestly, do you see yourself loving this woman?" juhwan asked, his question devoid of hesitation. he needed to know the truth, his curiosity gnawing at him relentlessly. juhwan understood that minhwan's heart had once belonged to another woman, but circumstances caused by the duke had prevented anything more from blossoming. all he desired was for minhwan to find happiness and contentment in his life, and to know that his uncle (cousin) would always be there as a confidant.

@❃ seo eun Yejun felt a mix of emotions coursing through him as Eun's words pierced through the haze of his turmoil. He had acted impulsively, driven by his own insecurities and fears, and now he was faced with the consequences of his actions. As Eun's arms moved to block his, shielding him from his own self-inflicted pain, Yejun felt a surge of guilt wash over him. He hadn't meant to cause her any harm, yet here he was, causing her even more distress.
"Eun..." His voice was hoarse with emotion as he struggled to find the right words to express his remorse. He reached out to gently wipe away the tears that stained her cheeks, his touch tender and filled with regret. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, my love."
Her words cut through him like a knife, reminding him of the depth of her love and the pain he had caused her. He couldn't bear to see her in such agony, knowing that he was the cause of it all. Everything sobered him up from his alcohol haze. the guilt for hurting his beloved, physically and mentally.
"You're right," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. "I've lost sight of what truly matters... of what's important." He took her hands in his, holding them gently as he met her gaze with a mixture of sorrow and determination. "I love you, Eun. More than anything in this world." he thumbed the back of her hands. "If I'm being stupid again, you should slap me like this." he muttered as he let her hand landed on his cheek in light slap but the second one went a bit harder as a punishment for hurting her.

@❀ moon jinhee @✿ cha seonhye (née chae) [h] Although she arrived the latest, the missive sent to her was not unnoticed by any means. Deep down, however, she wished Seonhye had more discernment in regards to the taverns in Hanseong, unless she was more attuned to the rowdy environment than the two of them. Despite the passage of time moving quickly, it seems Joseon was going through an everlasting run of rendezvous and ceremonies, followed by much fanfare. She briefly entertained thoughts of her own ceremony, now that the woman freed herself from her entanglements and became even closer to Jinhee.

"I believe this upcoming wedding you are referring to is to Lady Ryu Yeonhwa's? Sending blessings on her way in case of my absence." Heejin regarded them with a curt nod as she politely responded.

Upon hearing the sudden announcement from Seonhye, it was hard to suspend her disbelief. Surprise crossed her features, her eyebrow raised and a frown on her lips. The light-hearted contentment from earlier faded into moroseness, as the air became more glum at her words. There was something amiss in the way she relayed the news, as motherhood and matrimony were the pinnacles of being a woman in Joseon. The glow reminiscent of women undergoing pregnancy seemed to be replaced by an uncharacteristic meekness, hesitance while her body settles in this new state.

Cautious in letting suspicion slip into her tone, she sighed after taking in the news. Then she squeezed Seonhye's hand gently, as if reassuring her but also herself from the premonition of the happenings in her recent marriage.

"Seonhye, I'm happy for you and your future child. However, I am a little concerned for you, as this feels quite soon after your wedding."

She stated her concerns more tentatively than she liked.

"Jinhee-yah, what are your thoughts on this?"

@❀ moon jinhee @❀ kang heejin It had been a while since Seonhye had sought both her best friend out, undoubtedly, they were all busy with their individual lives, and such cherished moments were hard to come by. Upon agreeing a time and date, the anticipated meeting approached faster than she had expected — not that the young duchess had minded at all, it was a breath of fresh air from the palpable tension in her own estate.

It was her who reached the tavern first, if she had to admit, it was such a unconventional place for three ladies of stature to be meeting up, a tavern filled with drunkards and rowdy men, seonhye could already imagine the look on her husband’s face should he know about her whereabouts, without a doubt though, she knew a certain bodyguard would have reported it to his lordship.

But as soon as she spots the first arrival of her best friend, jinhee, she casted the thought of being found out to solely focusing on her at the new arrival. “Jinhee! Over here!” She called out with a frantic wave of her hand, alas, she was not alone. “I was starting to get worried.” Seonhye jest as she reached out to hold her best friend’s hand.

“now where is heejin, surely she did receive the missive?…or not!” At the speak of the little devil, Seonhye spots her walking in from a far. And despite the ‘subtleness’ she assumed both her friends were going for, Seonhye doesn’t miss the gaze that both of them had upon each other that lingered for a while. \+ much for being subtle. now when would either one of them ever admit?

“so um..i’m pregnant.”

@✿ baek yejun Eun could do little but nod in agreement to her question. She knew he hadn’t meant it. Deep down she knew that it was the alcohol and darkness in his mind talking, knowing how destructive those forces could be when they mixed. And yet it hurt no less to hear it coming directly from his tongue. Though she knew better it stung like white hot flames upon her heart. For though they were words of a man worried and hurt, they were fuelled by her actions and decisions.

A small gasp escaped her as his hand struck his own face. Before he could repeat the action her arms shot up to block his, taking the impact against her forearm before nailing him with her gaze again. “Stop that!” Her breath was uneven from the desperate gasps of air between her sobs, and yet she managed to get some power into her voice. “Hurting yourself only propagates the problem further. We need not fuel the pain more than we already have.”

Her hand shifted, fingers gently wrapping around his wrist to lower his arm. “Please, Yejun… We are human. We do foolish things, but… do not harm yourself further.” A tear streaked down her cheek, trailing the path already laid out by the tears that had run it before. “Yah… Listen to yourself,” she shot back when he asked his question, trying her best to ignore the pain that followed with it. “What part of this is me taking his side? Who’s lap am I crying in? What man am I trying to comfort here?”

Eunn would have kicked her past self if she could, all because of that one decision. So much could have gone by easier if she had not needed to test what she already should have known to be true. “I love you, Yejun. And hearing you talk as if that means nothing to you is what hurts.”

@❀ yang seoyul jinyoung had expected a thunderous tantrum that turn tables and concern servers, a reprimand in cold fury on his lack of respect and consideration for pushing the topic despite taebae’s clear resistance, but what threw him for a loop was the abrupt finale to the afternoon they’d shared.

something was about to go horribly wrong. call it instinct, or call it experience, he could feel it in his bones. shoulders squared, jinyoung’s narrowed eyes considered the bundle of nerves before him. one, two. the veterinarian’s visage contorted into fifty shades of green. he moved in an attempt to prop him up, but someone else was quicker. the waiter’s commendable efficiency had borne the full brunt of the poor man’s extremely visceral reaction to the mercenary’s vivid telling.

shock stilled the entire restaurant. everyone stared for what seemed like an eternity, as the hapless soul tried to collect himself, and pitiful remains of his dignity. “taebae-shi.” jinyoung wasted no time stepping in, his muscular frame breaking the curious gazes. pretences be damned, his jeopardized remuneration be damned, everything be damned. the taller man deserved nothing but utter compassion right now. “let’s get you cleaned up.” he murmured, gentle enough for only both their ears.

but taebae wouldn’t have it. after mustering some hurried parting words, he left. when a familiar, wrinkled face walked out from the shadows, nodding at jinyoung before putting himself to work, he sighed resignedly.

-----

as the sun began to crest over the hills, yeongsu found himself in the office of the renowned matchmaker, lady dalrae, arms crossed, lips curled petulantly at the impasse that wedged between them.

earlier, the young jungin painter had just woken up from catching a wink or two that he'd lost from his nightly activities, blissfully absent from his supposed date, when his personal attendant handed him an official letter stating the disengagement of lady dalrae's services, effective immediately. his reciprocity of sincerity with farce had landed him in hot waters.

lady dalrae was best of the best in hanseong, and most importantly, none was as discreet or tactful as her when it comes to matters of the heart that required a little more care. yeongsu would do himself little favour losing her good graces.

"madame dalrae, before everything else, i'd like to apologize for my abhorrent breach of trust. it was unethical of me, insulting even, to bait and switch my involvement in the date you've painstakingly arranged for me."

yeongsu continued to plead his case, "however, i couldn't help but have unquelled reservations about a complete stranger i've only learnt about on paper. as you are aware, i am in a precarious position as a member of the upper society with unconventional proclivities. while i don't doubt your gauge in character, i would like to err on the side of caution with my own assessment of taebae. i hope you understand."

ah, speak of the devil. the final piece finally slotted itself into the last gap of the puzzle when taebae stumbled into their dispute, appearing worse for wear.

@❃ seo eun Yejun tried to process what she had said. He felt frustrated with himself for finding himself being so slow about it. He only knew to hold her closer as she let her words out, letting her cling to him.
“Because of me?” He repeated in a daze. His right hand trailed down her beautiful white locks. His heart bled as he let those words sink in. He had hurt her when he promised not to. “I‘ve hurt you.” He weakly said, devastation was clear. He started to feel guilty and he blamed himself over it.
Hearing how heartbreaking her sobbing was and all of it was because of him, he started to hit his own face as he had said that he would punish whomever that hurt her and it was him. So, he would beat himself as a punishment. Other than that, he also wanted to sober up. He hated his slow and sluggish brain right now. If he could sober up faster, maybe he could think better and she wouldn’t be upset to him anymore.
As he was getting sober, her kiss with Jaehoon came back to mind but this time along with her crying in his arms. Now, he was stuck in two conflicting feelings. It felt like he was being blamed. “You hurt me first and how am I hurting you? Are you standing on his side now again?” He asked weakly. He didn’t want to argue but if he could just get it clear with his partially sober brain, maybe it would be less messy, with the condition if he remembered tomorrow morning.

@✿ yoon junho perhaps it was the alcohol slowing ilseong's reactions. or maybe it was the late hours of the night, finally catching up to him. but he blinked a couple of times from the rapid fire questions prattled off by junho and it made him laugh. oh, it was such a cute and charming display.

"i do frequent this place. i come here often, with my friends, or by myself. there's a certain....peace that comes from spending some time alone, i think. anything to get me out of the estate for a while," he admitted casually. being at home was the last place he wanted to be on most days. between the never ending responsibilities that were upon him, to the ever watchful eye of his mother, being at the jang estate felt more hostile than the battlefields he was used to.

maybe he should cut back on the alcohol for the rest of the night. he had reached his sweet spot.

leaning back from the counter, he continued, "for a living... i'm a commander in the military, as well as a duke. although, i find one job environment a bit more pleasant than the other. being outside in nature, me and my birds, leading my men.... i find it very rewarding."

"my friends come from all walks of life. i like to get to know people, as i'm sure you've gathered already," ilseong smiled. "but what about you? what does a shy gentleman like yourself do for a living? do you frequent this establishment? and are your friends yangbans?"

@✿ baek yejun “I know, darling,” she sighed, staring at him with the hope slowly leaving. Was she being unfair again? She had meant it, yet it had become another one of her many white lies. Truths that just kept their full meaning hidden. It was how she had always lived, saying the right things when needed to get where she had to go. And yet she felt awful doing the same to him, no matter how drunk. Not even his little attempt at a kiss and poke to her lips could lure forth a smile.

What was she even to say to him? It seemed all she said became lost within the alcoholic fog of his mind, words aimlessly wandering with no way to reach the goal ahead. She wanted to explain it all, yet knew nothing would linger once it was all over. He would not remember her crying, and she would refrain from mentioning it. It was as it always had been, and Eun realized that perhaps she should not have opened up so easily.

And yet the familiar tug of his arms to shield her with his embrace broke down her walls. The tears she had tried to hold back spilled forth as her fingers curled into the fabric of his jeogori-sleeve. “You are,” she admitted when she heard his question. Her usual inclination to have scoffed at the man’s threat of violence on anyone was all but gone from her mind, faced with the reality of her own retort. “You are hurting me, Yejun. Your words are like daggers wielded by an angry drunk and my heart-“ Eun in a deep breath to stop her gasping sobs. “I can’t listen when I bare my heart to you.”

@❃ seo eun Yejun looked at her with creased brows when he didn’t get his kisses. “You promised me kisses.” He pouted. He saw her curled up lips and he pressed his lips against hers. “No pouting.” He gently poked her lips as he swayed slightly.
When he saw her in tears, it broke him. His heart hurt. It felt like his chest was bleeding along with her tears. “Why are you crying?” He asked, hand already gone to her cheek to wipe the tears away. “Don’t cry…” He cupped her cheeks and thumbed them, pouting slightly.
Even though, he wasn’t sober yet, his sense in protecting her kicked in. This slightly brought him back to the time he saw her hurting because of that lord. He tugged her to his embrace. He hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead.
“Who’s hurting you? I should beat that person for you.” He said, brushing her hair slowly. He somehow had forgotten about the kiss earlier.

@❀ kang heejin @✿ cha seonhye (née chae) It always surprised Jinhee, just how fast time would fly. It seemed like only yesterday that the flowers first bloomed at the beginning of Spring. And yet a chill swept through the air, the blooming flowers now beginning to wilt as the vibrant oranges, reds, and yellows of Autumn replaced them. Jinhee enjoyed the season, until the cold became unbearable, a precursor to the season she dreaded most. Although, this was not the time to be feeling sad about Winter’s approach, for it was a joyous occasion.

The teahouse owner was sitting at a table in the tavern, chatting with her friend, Seonhye, about the woman’s upcoming wedding, excited for her friend’s happiness and hoping for the Yangban woman to experience a long and blissful life with her future husband. It was all the woman deserved for her kindness and her willingness to help others. If anyone deserved the perfect life, it was Chae (soon to be Cha) Seonhye.

As they waited for their other close friend, Kang Heejin, Jinhee’s gaze often flickered toward the door. The thought of the woman made her heart flutter in her chest, and she couldn’t help the excited anticipation she felt, impatient to see the woman’s face before her again. A wave of relief and giddiness washed over her when she spotted the familiar figure, her smile widening as the woman approached the table.

“You didn’t miss much, I believe. We were just discussing the weather and our dear friend’s upcoming wedding. Right, Seonhye?” She peeled her gaze from Heejin to instead look over at Seonhye again, her gaze filling with warmth.

@✿ baek yejun Eun sighed heavily, her face still marked by a saddened curl of her lips. What was she even to say to him that could potentially shake him out of his spiral of thoughts? Was there any right way that she could reach through to him like this? Even now he seemed hellbent on not hearing her. It seemed his mind was cherrypicking the few things it was already circling around to further impact his feelings.

“I know, Yejun. And as soon as you have sobered up you will have as many as you want,” the gisaeng hummed quietly as she kept trying to make him look at her. He was being stubborn, though she was unsure if that was truly all up to the alcohol. It was almost as if he wanted to believe the rumor about it all. Listen to them over her.

So when he yet again reiterated how she must have wanted the other lord, Eun could no longer hold back her tears. “Yejun, please… Stop this.” Each time he repeated it she felt a pang of guilt. Each one felt like the crack of a whip, searing hot and painful though it did not stop at her skin. The pain sank deep into her chest as if the lashes were against her heart. “Please…”

@❀ moon jinhee @✿ cha seonhye (née chae) [ backdated: november 1st, 1869 ]

Autumn quickly fell over Hanseong, evoking the death in green and rebirth in orange. Leaves were crushed under her shoes as she walked at a brisk pace to the tavern, alone. Every bodyguard under her hire was either too distracted or too fussy, so she opted for the simplest solution: to fire them all. With the moon high in the sky, in its bright crescent glory, Heejin felt at ease following the path carved for her, despite the route being more than familiar to her. She wasn’t in a rush. In fact, she was as relaxed as she could be. Though, hackles on her spine informed her of the premonition of being the last arrival.

Walking inside the tavern, the warmth posed a great contrast to the drafty nature outside. Shutting the door behind her, her gaze jumped from table to table, most of them occupied by commoners in their tatters, majority of them being slovenly men. Sneers and jabs were tossed at her, even some who tried to approach her. Heejin managed to evade it all, though it made her scowl having to put in more work shoving a man off of her. The rest broke into dissonant choruses of a drunk sailor song, a miracle her ears didn’t break as well.

What seemed like ten minutes after, she finally arrived at the table with her friends, Jinhee and Seonhye. Unashamedly, her gaze lingered on Jinhee for a bit before she cringed inwardly at her fancy.

“I apologize for my tardiness, ladies.” Contrition tinged her voice, as she was catching her breath.

Occupying one of the empty seats, Heejin clasped her hands on the table. “Are there new happenings I haven’t caught up on? Work had been exhausting me as of late.”

@❃ heo jinyoung [ tw: hm... queasiness, i guess? ]

A queasy, bubbling manifestation occurred in the pit of his stomach. He felt sick; blood rushing and heart pumping as his date, the supposedly venerable Han Yeongsu continued his vivid description of the golden fried yellow croaker. Taebae's mind reeled with discomfort, his senses overwhelmed by the thought of consuming such a dish.

As his date painted a grotesque image of the fish, Taebae's distress intensified. The image of his dear childhood pet goldfish ran through his mind, and he could not suppress the thought of its miniscule, golden body laying lifeless and slimy on a platter to be served for them. Every fiber of his being rebelled against indulging in something so contrary to his beliefs, especially when he has been mourning its loss all these years.

Struggling to maintain his composure, Taebae attempted to excuse himself, desperate for reprieve from the overwhelming sensation of nausea. But before he could escape to the sanctuary of the bathroom, the pungent aroma of fried food wafting through the tavern overwhelmed his senses. Waves of dizziness swept over him until his legs buckled beneath him and he found himself stumbling forward with the rising urge to vomit.

The waiter had returned upon the scene, immediately rushing to the lanky man that was currently on his knees. “Good Sir, is everything alright?”

The poor waiter helped the veterinarian to rise back onto his shaking legs, but with a sudden lurch, Taebae's stomach twisted and it was on the waiter in which he had emptied the contents of his earlier meal in a bountiful purge.

Onlookers witnessed the embarrassing scene, but more so it was the horrid look on Lee Taebae’s face that flooded with the extent of his distress. This was supposed to be a pleasant evening, a chance to connect with a possible suitor—a romantic prospect that could finally relieve him from his life of singlehood—but it had turned into an ordeal of discomfort and humiliation.

His cheeks burned with shame. He needed to escape before he’d make an even bigger fool of himself. With trembling limbs, he removed himself from the soiled waiter. Mind consumed with thoughts of how he could salvage what remained of the evening, but deep down, he knew that this turn of events had irreparably tainted this date, and marred what’s left of the impression he had hoped to make with his date.

Taebae’s eyes grew tearful as he struggled to regain his composure. But the only words that managed to slip through his mouth were not words of apologies nor excuses. Instead, it fell in the name of the person who had arranged this hapless date in the first place: Lady Dalrae.

He muttered the name on his tongue, voice strained and jaw tightened. Then he turned back to the other man, his ‘perfect match’ that had been promised to him by the young matchmaker. “Lord Han,” he said with utmost formality, “I’d advise you to get a refund.”

With that, Taebae turned away, his steps heavy with the weight of disappointment and regret. His steps marched him to the office of the matchmaking service.

[post deleted by owner]

@❃ seo eun Yejun tried to focus and listen to her as she requested him to. At the same time, he leaned more against her. He loved the comfort that she provided ever since he became her client. The comfort was the seed to the love he had for her. As much as he found it difficult to differentiate reality and fiction, he still knew this warmth, the warmth that he always wanted to keep close and protect.
He did his best to focus, despite his slow and sluggish brain. When she mentioned about the kiss again, his lips instantly formed a pout. Somehow, he wanted to just meet the good dream instead of reliving the kiss or the talk about it.
“I want kisses.” He childishly said. It’s his little protest for her kissing another guy. As cool and as level headed he was on daily basis, he couldn’t when it came to this. He was always possessive and protective when it came to those precious to him. She was his treasure just like how he told her back in the gala.
“But…” he sighed, nuzzling his forehead against her collarbone. “You like him more… he’s the brave and strong soldier you’ve been waiting for.” The exhaustion was clear on his voice.
He weakly tried to tug his jeogori off as he was getting more uncomfortable. It was hot and he was tired but there’s also stubbornness in his action. He didn’t want to sleep or rest just yet. She could be gone and he didn’t want to part ways with her just yet.

@✿ baek yejun She had expected a lot of things; separate plans for each outcome that could happen from her statement. And yet his lips so softly pressing to hers was not one of those situations she had foreseen coming. With how gone he had seemed, focusing so much on his sadness and delusions that he still thought her a figment of his mind, the last thing she thought he would do would be kiss her.

The taste of alcohol still lingered on his lips as she pulled back a little, eyes fluttering a little before she swallowed hard to steady herself. She would not let him get away by distracting her so easily. “Yes,” the gisaeng sighed. “Talk. I need you to actually listen. To be here in this moment with me so we can actually get to the bottom of this.” Her grip on his cheeks loosened a little, fingertips gently tracing down along the trail of his tears from earlier.

“I know you think you’ve lost me because of that rumour. I would have loved to tell you it was not true, but I will not lie. Yet as I said, it was a sealing kiss. A close to one chapter to make way for another one.” Eun forced him to look at her again, waiting until she saw his eyes focus ever so slightly. “Our chapter, Yejun. You and me.”

@❃ seo eun Yejun followed her guidance without too much fuss. He was easy when it came to Eun. Others, he wasn’t quite sure about it. He might not be that easy when it came to strangers taking care of him.
When she climbed to his lap, he tugged his georeum to loosen his jeogori. He felt hot and feverish as he could feel sweat trailed down his body and he felt uncomfortable whenever it was hot that way. After that, he rested his forehead against her collarbone.
“Hmm?” Confusion could be heard when he answered to the call of his name. He looked into her eyes, cheeks flushed. “Talk?” He repeated, still trying to figure everything out. He leaned his cheek against her hand before he leaned in to give her lips a kiss. “My Eun…” he whispered while trying to differentiate reality to fiction. “Are you even still mine?” He asked in wonder while weakly circling his arm around her waist.

@✿ baek yejun A poem…
Eun drew a deep breath of relief, knowing it was a sign that some of the fog was lifting. Not a lot, but enough to tell her that he was able to understand her. With some effort she got him seated by her bed, his back pressed up against the wall to keep him sitting upright. Without any hesitation she lifted her chima a little, bundling the fabric as she straddled up onto his lap. It seemed waking his senses would require something stronger.

Placing her hands on both his cheeks, she gently nudged his head up so he faced her, not giving him anywhere to run off to. She’d sit there until the drink was all out of his system if she had to, because she knew he was better than this. At least she hoped he was better than this. He had made improvements over the past two moons, unless those were just momentary flukes between his binges.

No, she couldn’t let the doubt fester.
“Yejun.”
The gisaeng’s typical jovial tone was gone, replaced by one much sterner. He would not get any more leeway with her until they could actually talk things through. She needed him to snap out of it, and do so fast. “I need you to talk to me. Not the imaginary Eun you keep seeing in your head, but actually me. You hear me in there?” She tugged his face ever so slightly closer, studying his pupils to see if he managed to focus at all. It would be this or forcing him to sleep somehow. She need her Yejun back.

@❃ seo eun The moment he got that news, millions scenarios had run through his head and in every scene, there was her kissing that lord. He had gone through losing his support system from he was young, growing up without one and then, he found her in Eun as their friendship and relationship grew from one encounter to the others. Then, with this news, his father forcefully took it away from him and his world collapsing on its own because Eun had turned into more than just his support system. She was his everything.
The moment he picked the alcohol up, he had gone through those scenes, adding with the what-ifs and what he had done wrong for her to go to that lord without a word and kissed the latter. Mentally, he couldn’t accept that. And along that, a lot of why came with it. He hoped for an answer but too scared to hear what she would say.
Once again, he could feel her warm touch through his fuzzy haze. He couldn’t help but leaned against it, wanting to feel more. He was tired but he didn’t want to sleep. He was afraid that he might lose her the moment he woke up. He still needed her.
Her words didn’t get through to him until he heard her poem. He heard her wish, her begging and he did want to give all of those to her but could it be his mind playing with himself again? But she felt too real. He sighed. His head hurt just thinking about all of this.
“Fiction and reality have always been playing with my weak mind
They slowly parted ways because of your love
One kiss with him merged those two again
Tell me what I should do

I want to break through the fog
To Kiss you, hold you but I’m scared
My actions show childishness and cowardice
Allow me once to be that way, for I am broken”

He slurred through his fuzzy thoughts. He didn’t know if his poem even made any sense but he just said it to tell her the words from his heart, how afraid he was right now of the possibility of losing her or of how all of these was simply a long beautiful dream.

@✿ baek yejun Of all the things he had said and done, the repeated statement of her not being real hurt the most. Had she imagined her speaking to him earlier that day? Had his mind thought up some imaginary Eun to further the pain he was already in? Her mind raced trying to find any solution for how to prove she was real, any magic combination of words that could reach him through the fog of alcohol and sadness.

“Hey, hey,” the gisaeng cooed, lifting one hand up to gently cup his cheek. Her thumb ran along the wet skin, doing what little she could to brush away the tears that slowly ran down his face. “I am real, Yejun. I chose to be here, with you. I choose to be here with you,” she continued on, putting a bit more emphasis into her words the second time around. In her mind there was no contest. Her loyalty lay with him, and none other.

“Yejun. Darling. Look at me.” Eun’s voice was still soft, despite the slightly more commanding tone. Her hand aided in lifting his face, hoping he would at least be able to look her in the eyes. Perhaps then he would see the truth, even when he thought he heard lies. “You picked me, remember? At the gala, you chose my item, giving me the chance to fully see you. And now I beg of you to fully see me.”

Eun leaned closer, pressing a light kiss to his lips.
“I am here right before you, not fiction but flesh
not words on a page or the lies of your mind,
but corporal and true, like the love I feel dearly.
the one which through choice you allowed me to find.

Listen and see me, please break through the fog.
Kiss me, hold me, let my presence aid your broken heart.
Although my actions have been rash and selfish,
Allow me the chance to promise a more truthful start.”

@❃ seo eun As he listened more to her words, he curled up defensively. He knew that there was no way she would choose him. It would always be her. He pouted and tears silently ran down his cheeks.
“You are not real.” He mumbled once again. “You will always pick him more than me.” He answered shakily, tears ran down his cheeks once more as he tried to blink it away. It was painful at each word he said and his heart shattered even more as time passed. “You could just be lying to me. I’m never be the number one pick. I’m always the last pick, if not, no one’s pick.”
He remained still when she held onto his arm. He turned a deaf ear to her words after that. That lord was the best option for her. He was someone that held no power. That lord was much stronger compared to him. He could protect her better. Besides, she liked that lord more than him. They had a lot more memories together. She would be much happier with that lord than with him. He really should learn to let go.

@✿ baek yejun He looked so miserable and it broke her heart to see. The last thing in the world she wanted was for him to feel pain because of anything that she had done. He deserved the best in the world and nothing less, and that meant for her to be less selfish than she had been in the past. More open and forthcoming than before.

“I… Probably should have, yes.” Eun agreed before sighing again. What she was about to say would hurt him more. But she hoped that deep down he would understand and see why. He would see that she loved him and no one else. “But back then I was still unsure. His return had my feelings in a twist of confusion. And I thought if I met him I could close that chapter. The kiss was my final act in doing so. Meant to mean the end but also-“ Eun stared at Yejun, conflicted emotions reflecting in her eyes as she finally confessed: “-to ensure I had made the right choice. And I did. That kiss… It was nothing like kissing you.”

The gisaeng felt her own eyes tearing up as she listened to him go on. She knew it was just his drunk side talking, the one that believed it must have been a lie that she was there. He had said as much from the moment she had taken to his side at the bar. “Because I am here, Yejun.” Her voice was a whisper, tears slowly escaping from her lashes. She did not hesitate to follow him, taking the spot right next to him so she could hug his arm to her chest and lean her head against his shoulder. “Your Eun is right here, Yejun. And I will not ever leave your side.”